I wrote this short story while listening to B1A4 - A lie. Maybe you should read it while listening to the song too. :) 

Sandeul's Diary

1 Jun 2020

Dear Eunji,

Since you left that day, I keep consuming alcohol when I can’t even drink well. I keep calling girls who I’m not even interested in. I thought I was doing this because I was lonely. When I smell the perfume you used to wear, without knowing, I want to take out your photo and look at it.

After you left, my love page has stopped. Your empty spot in my heart makes my tears well up. What should I do? All night I talk to myself again. I wish I could turn back time. I just endlessly cry, I just endlessly get sad every day after you left. I hate this pain of being left alone. I can’t sleep because of this terrible aftermath.

I busily lose myself in work, meet up with friends so I have no time to think of you. I thought I was doing well without a chance to feel your empty spot. I think the words, “time heals all” is a lie. Why does it feel like only I am hurting all the time?

Aren’t you the same as me? Are you, by any chance, like me? Did you also not able to erase my phone number? Why am I acting like a fool like this? I told myself to forget but t I’m like this again. Why did you leave me like this?

I wish I could turn back time. If I can turn back time,I wouldn’t lose you on  that rainy night. If I had held onto you, you would still be by my side. Please come back, it’s too hard.

You say, please meet someone good. I guess our love was more shallow than I thought. 

What I said that night was a lie. When I said go, it was a lie. I've only said scarring words and turned around because I didn't want to show you my pain. Please come back to me. 

20 Jun 2020

Dear Eunji,

Please tell me that this is a lie. Please tell me you are living well. Please say that you still alive today. How could you leave me alone in this world? Why did you hide everything from me.

I should have known better. I should have known you'll never leave me without a reason. I should have known you didn't mean those hurtful words you said that night. I should have known it was all a lie. I shouldn't said scarring word to you that night. I should have hold on to you. I should have thrown my ego away after that night. I should have search for you after that night. 

Why did I let you suffer alone in that cold white room without someone familiar. How did I missed all the sign before? I'm trying to endure this pain of losing you but I don't think I can hold on anymore. The memory of that night is torturing me. I can't forgive myself. I'm sorry for letting you go that night. I'm sorry love. I'll meet you again sooner in your new world. I love you. I always do.

Sorry guys, I know it's too short. I'll write another story later. :)  

Thank you for reading my story. I'm open for request again after 6 years. You can fill in the form on chapter 5. I'll try my best to write for you :)