The next few weeks, I did the same thing.

Mr. Park was acknowledging Taemin more. Even in the hallways, he would greet him with more favourtism than the other students. I tried not to get myself affected, avoiding everyone I know since then. Taemin and I don't even talk when we head back to our room. He went his way and I went mine. I realise exhaustion was the only thing I needed to get no nightmares again. 

Taemin hang out with my clique more but he was also getting the attention of the girls around the school. I would watch him from far, flirting with the girls whenever he is alone or with one or two of those from my clique. I could see the disapprovals on their faces but they didn't say anything to me when I joined them at lunch and dinner. Breakfast was the only one I skipped in the meantime cause I was dreading the sleep. 

Taemin and I tried to talk like a normal couple when we are around them. It was pretty obvious that we were fighting and having a cold war. Everyone in my clique was noticing that and didn't say anything. When girls called Taemin during these time and he goes to acknowledge them, I excused myself to the library. 

The library was rarely frequent by students unless its during the exam period. I would use the opportunities of the library to study about myself and more about the history of what is going on around. I always sat on the floor between the rows of reference section. The books were not made to borrow because they were old and ancient. The gates of the section would open up till a certain time. The librarian acknowledge me and smile at me as I smiled back, making my way to the back of the library where the reference section was. 

Entering the steel gates, I eased myself at the second row. Finding the book that I was reading the day before and the bookmark that I placed between the pages, I flipped it open and began to read from where I left at. I read it quietly, munching on a energy bar when I felt myself being watched. I looked up and nearly choked on my energy bar as Kai leaned against the bookshelf and eyed the book I was reading. 

"Really...The Reference Section?" He spoke, grabbing a book and opened it, waving his hand over it as dust motes exploded in front of him. 

"Its the quietest place anyways," I said nonchantly. 

"Mhmm..." He smiled his signature smile and looked at me. 

"What?" I asked, staring at him. 

"Nothing." He whispered, sliding his hands in his pockets after placing the book back on the shelf. 

"Then leave me alone." I said sternly, staring back at my page. 

He stayed where he was, fidgeting slightly. He tapped his foot, scratched his head, rubbing his palms on his pants. I groaned and muttered a cursed under my breath before I stared at him and wanted to give him a stern warning when he burst out. 

"Look, there is this annual ball and everyone is suppose to go with a date. I was wondering if you wanna go with me?" Kai breathed at the end of his sentence, staring at me with pleading eyes. 

I bit my lip and tried to process what he just asked me. I stood up and place my bookmark in between the pages gently before I looked at him again. Kai regarded me with a pleading look, his face was so down. I bit my lip and took it all in. 

"I..I think I might be going with Taemin though he haven't ask me-"

"He already asked someone else." Kai interjected, sighing softly. "Thats why I'm asking you.." 

I froze and looked at Kai. My heart felt like it had broken and shamelessly in front of Kai. Probably the whole school even. I was picking up the pieces in front of everyone who knew and I didn't knew. I felt my cheeks flushed red at the rejection from the third party about Taemin and hiccuped. I blinked and covered my mouth, realising it was all true anyways. I grabbed the shelf beside me and leaned against the cold wood. I looked down before I took a deep breath and shook my head. 

"No?" Kai whispered, his voice nearing me, "Sun Min?" 

"J-just...go!" I tried to find my voice, "Just leave me alone! And I don't want to go to this stupid ball or whatever!" 

I felt Kai froze and reach out for me but I didn't want him to. He froze in mid-air before he pulled back and his footsteps walked heavily away from me. I looked down and tried to find something to stabilise myself as I recalled what Kai said about Taemin. I slid down on my back and laid on the floor, hugging my knees to my stomach. 

I didn't realise I was crying until I noticed the wet patches on my skirt. I felt something in my pocket vibrating and realise the time. I must have missed afternoon lessons cause it was close till the end of the last period. Taemin's face was flashing on the screen before it stopped. The messages left by him and the rest was up to 150 and the calls were up to 100. I stared at my phone and saw Taemin's face flashing on the screen as he was trying to get a hold of me. 

I willed my hands and the phone shot up in flames. I watched as the phone burned in front of me, exploding in the little bubble I created. I watched it harder before it turned to ashes in my palms. I gently blew on to it, watching the ashes flew away and further from me. 

Back in the room, I didn't say anything when Taemin walked in fuming. He shouted at me, his eyes were angry and his cheek were red. I let him, looking down. I didn't want to say anything else as he realise he couldn't talk any more sense in me anymore, walking to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I looked at my hands and tried to play with the fire that was burning, turning it into a bird and watch it flew out of the window. I let the tears fall as I laid in bed quietly, hearing Taemin changed and head out for dinner. I didn't move or anything as the night went on, him staying up late with Mr. Park. I stayed awake until he slipped in, took a wash and slipped into the covers. He didn't bother asking about me as he sleep his night away. 

It was 2am that I finally got up and change into my training uniform, strapping myself extra tight and welcoming the pain. I walked through the hallways and went into the courtyard quietly. The only way I can put my mind to ease was through my own self-training.