On the third day of late-night practice, I was still trying to get a hang of my powers. Taemin seem at ease with his and more stable than me too. I was getting envious of that and it made me feel upset and disappointed with myself. I thought maybe it was because I was recovering but I know deep down it is not. 

Mr. Park Yoochun was watching us intensely as we tried to make shapes through the fire emitting from the palms of our hands. Taemin was forming shapes, from regular shapes to animal forms. I tried my best, forming a bunny out of the fire in my hand. We were practicing in one of the secret courtyards in one of the school's compound. It was close to 11pm and I was still trying to make my bunny move. 

Taemin, on the other hand, had already progressed to a horse that manifested itself from the fire and then began galloping around him and around me before he whispered the words for water and put it out. Mr. Park was once again, impressed by his progress. 

"Good, my boy..." Mr. Park patted his back and smiled.

Taemin grinned and shrugged it off like it was nothing. I groaned and put out my bunny, going over to my stuff and drank some water. Mr. Park called it in for the night and left us both alone. I packed my things quietly and tried not to think about how useless I am over this kind of power. A shadow hovered over me as I packed my stuff quietly. 

"Did you saw what I did? It was so cool!" Taemin grinned. 

"Good job." I said, slinging my strap over me and walked out of the courtyard. 

"H-hey! Wait!" Taemin packed and ran over to me just as I made it through the empty dark corridor.

I didn't need light or fire to see where I was going. I could see perfectly with my eyesight. I walked quickly, my boots grunting under me. Taemin caught up and grinned triumphly as he began to tell me how he had been doing well and how he felt proud of himself. As we made it to the dorms, I walked further ahead. I realised the moment I was climbing up the stairs that Taemin was quiet. 

I fished out my keys and unlock the door when a hand quickly stopped me. I turned and looked at Taemin who was looking at me. His eyes were unreadable as he had a hard face on. 

"What?" I hissed, trying to grab my keys from his hand. 

"Are you upset? The fact that I can do better than you?" He asked, his question stung me hard and I felt my heart constricted at the pain. 

"I haven't been making any progress unlike you, if you haven't notice!" I snapped and grabbed his hands, "Here, why not just take all of my powers then." 

He pulled back and stared at me. I tried to stare at him, mad at myself and him, feeling like destroying everything. I held my breath and tried to be as strong as possible. 

"Just hand over the keys." I said, breathing hard. 

"You're just jealous, aren't you?" He whispered, staring at me. 

I shot my eyes at him and widened my eyes. I can't believe he said that! I thought he might know how it feels to be- 

He used my keys to unlock the door and slipped in. He didn't even ask me to come in. His expression grave. I bit my lip and followed him in quietly. He was already in the shower when I entered a few moments later. I dumped my stuff in the walk in wadrobe. I leaned against the shelves and tried to breathe. I couldn't. I felt useless entirely and I know I can't do this. I might as well surrender myself to Hye Kyu and give up. I didn't want to shower, grabbing my cotton wear pajamas and slipped on. 

I lied in bed as Taemin got out of the shower and head to the walk in wadrobe to change. I turned away from him, wishing a hole would swallow me whole and take me away from here. I hold back the tears I wanna let go as Taemin slipped under the sheets. He draped an arm over me, not even pulling me close. He still thinks I'm jealous and envious that he can do better than me. I was more angry at myself than jealousy over his quick start and progress. I waited till I heard him sleep, his soft snores was heard around the room. I looked at the digital clock on the bedside table. It was already 2am in the morning. 

I know I had 10am classes and breakfast starts at 8am. I couldn't sleep. The thought bothered me and it was making it hard to sleep. I gave myself another 10mins before I slipped away from his arms and went to grab my training bag. I change into my training suit and walked out quietly, grabbing my keys from the table. I looked at Taemin sleep and bit my lip, going out into the corridors again. 

I walked silently down the hallways to the secret courtyard. I used my sense of hearing to hear out the school keeper who was making his rounds around the school. I darted into the secret courtyard when the school keeper was in the other end of the hallway. I shut the door to the courtyard and breathed, panting. Taking another 10 seconds to made sure it was silent outside, I heard the boots of the keeper walking past and then disappearing round the next corridor. 

I breathed and leaned against the wall. I dumped my stuff at the training bench and start again, concentrating and manipulating with the fire from my own palms. I tried over and over again, burning and hurting myself. I had to grab an energy bar at every hour I was staying there, drinking more water and start over. I panted, sweating as the fire grew in front of me before shaping it into a horse. I watch and picture a horse in my mind, willing it to my hands and maniplate the fire to create what I was picturing. 

The fire rose and grew, sound of the horse grunting was heard. I breathed and focused harder as the fire began taking shape. The tail formed and slowly its way down to the head and the hooves. The fire I created had become a horse! I smiled radiantly, panting and breathing hard. My hands were shaky and my stomach growled. I know I was out of energy bars but I didn't care. 

The fire horse stood before me, its eyes watching me. The tail ends was all smoke and so were the hooves. It hit the stone floor well as it move steadily over me. I reached my hands out and crouched lowly, never taking my eyes off it. It bend towards me and acknowledge me. I looked at it before I reached my hands out forth, wanting to touch it. I didn't know what made me do it, but I was curious. Afterall, it was my own fire, right? 

The fire-horse regarded me before it let me touch it. I touch the horse, feeling the cold tips of the fire against my palms. I bit my lip and grinned, smiling as I touched it a little more. The fire-horse felt my touch and nudge against me more. It groaned and nudged against my hands more, telling me that it likes me. 

"Yeah...yeah... I like you too, buddy.." I whispered, smiling. 

The fire-horse made a sound again. I bit my lip and looked at it, watching it as it tried to prompt me to do something else. I bit my lip and whispered, 

"I'm...I want to...But I'm tired..." I whispered to it, hoping it would understand. 

The fire-horse grunt and looked at me. I see the pleading in its eyes, asking me to extinguish it. I notice then that itself was getting more visible. I looked around and realised then, that morning was coming and the sun was rising. I bit my lip and whispered to it again. 

"I will manifest you later tonight... my friend," 

The fire-horse knelt before me, its one leg bend and its head bowing before me. I smiled and whispered the word, extinguishing it with the water from my hands. I quickly grabbed my bag and check the time, panting and feeling the color drained from me. I groaned at the sound of my stomach but I was more overwhelmed by fatigue. I made a quick check before running to the dorm in quick speed and darting around every corner before reaching the door of my room.

I panted and used my sense of hearing, hearing Taemin was snoring still. I panted and opened the door silently, slipping in and quickly went for a quick shower and change back into my cotton pajamas that I had worn earlier. I pulled the sheets and slipped in quietly, seeing Taemin taking back his arm and sigh in his sleep, turning away. I bit my lip and realise how much of comfort sleep he could have get without me in the way. I bit my lip more and watch his back, feeling the tears came and sniffled. 

I quietly cried in my pillow before I felt the effects on me draining me again of energy from the practice I did whole night. I groaned softly, seeing that it was close to 7am. I curled up on my side of the bed, falling asleep when I heard Taemin's alarm clock buzzed through the room. I could feel Taemin getting up as I slipped into unconsciousness. He turned to see me, I could feel his breath on my face. I thought he would kissed my cheek but he pulled away and sighed, heading to the bathroom. 

I wanted to cry again when I heard the shower . I didn't have the energy to, willing myself to sleep from exhaustion.