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     Along all SM idols performance,I seem not enjoy it. My body is here but my soul and mind wander somewhere else. I keep thinking about the matters that Jinki oppa said to me just now. What if Minho oppa collapse because she did not yet eaten anything since morning. He need a lot of energy to perform and he get the energy from eating but he rufused to eat. He will pass out any time soon if he still not eat. Why is he doing this to himself. Is it because I hurted him really badly until he refuse to eat. Oppa please don't hurt yourself. Does he really loves me this much until he willing to hurt himself. I don't deserve your love oppa. I'm a bad person. I hurted someone who really loves me. Along the concert my eyes only see him. I have to make sure he is okay. I can see all my oppas and unnies looking at me but not that person whom I want to see me. It makes me really hurt and I feel like I wanna cry. Thats the consequenses that I have to face after I hurted the one whom I love and loves me back. Karma is really a .

    The concert finally end. I get up from my seat and without waiting any longer to congaratulate them or even tell them that I'm leaving,I go straight to my car. I can't  stay any longer. If my eyes land on HIM some more I'm sure I will breaking down on that spot. I don't want them to see me breaking down. The moment I get inside my car,I'm finally cry once again. I drive off while crying badly. I arrive at my house. Before I step out of the car,my phone ringing.

    "Hello Nana,is that you?"."Yes it is me. Why are you calling me Bummie oppa?"I said while wiping my tears.

    "Nana,listen carefully. I don't know how are you going to accept this but I have to tell you"."What is it Bummie oppa?You make scared sound so serious right now."."Yes it is serious matter Nana. It involve Minho"."What happen to Minho oppa?Did something happen to him?". I said feel nervous as hell right now. Please god don't make anything happen to him. I know I can't be with him. But I can't loose him. I still love him very much. Don't take him away from me. I don't want to be alone again. I cry harder right now.

   "Nana,did Jinki oppa tell you that since this morning, Minho does not eat anyhting"."Yes Jinki oppa has told me about that"."So after the concert ended just now,he saw you leave without telling us. He tried to reach you. He want to talk to you. But because he not eating anything and that cause him too tired after the performance,he collapsed. To make things worst,he collapsed on one of the big speaker on the floor. His head that hit the speaker and it bleeding badly. We now at the hospital. He now in the surgery room. You need to come here faster. If not,we never know we will see him again or not"Oh my god. No Minho oppa. You can't leave me. I drive off to the hospital that Bummie oppa said Minho oppa being treated.

    "Where is him? I want to see him. No I need to see him. He can't leave me. I can't life without him. Please tell me where is him"I said as soon as I arrive infront of the ICU room. I hold Minnie oppa sholuders tightly like my life depedent on it.

   "Calm down Nana. You crying right now doesn't give any help to him"Minnie oppa said while patting my shoulder to calm me.

    "How can I calm when this thing happen because of me oppa? It is my fault. I'm the one to be blame. I did this to him. If I don't hurt him yesterday,he will be eating. He will not collapse and hit that stupid speaker. He will not hurt right now"I said and fall collapsed on the floor crying. All the unnies from Girl's Generation,f(x) and BoA unnies come running to me to calm me down.

    "Dongsaeng,you have to be strong"."Yes Jinri is right. Don't crying like this"."Listen to what BoA said Nana. He can hear you from inside"."What Sica unnie said is true. Stop crying. He will be sad hearing you like this"I stay still on the floor still crying. Suddenly The ICU light turn off and one of the doctor step out from the ICU room.

    "May I speak to Minho's family?"."Yes doctor. We are all his family"."But who is his guardian,elderly maybe?"."I am sir. I'm his President"."Ok I know this seems shocking but we already try our best but Minho is in coma right now"."Oh my god. Is it really bad doctor? How is his condition right now?"."I can't say much about his conditon right now mister. We already run some test in his brain and we can't tell you anything about it right now"."How long he will stay coma doctor?"."For how long I don't know miss. It all depend on him. If he want to wake up right now,he will wake up. But if he,himself decide not to wake any moment soon or maybe not to wake up anymore,theres nothing we can do about it. What I can say right now. We just need to pray for the miracle to happen".

    "How can you say it all depend on him"."Nana stop. Don't hit the doctor"."We are very sorry miss. We already tried our best to save him"."How can you say you tried your best if he not waking up yet"."Its okay doctor,we will handle her. She just so stress about all this matter"."Nana stop right now"Jonggie oppa suddenly yell at me. Everybody seems stunned and shocked from his outburst. Silent fill that area. I'm really taken aback from his outburst. All this pass few days knowing him,he never once yell at me even when me and Minnie oppa always disturb him.

   "I'm sorry Nana. I didn't mean to hurt you. Yes we know you scared. We scared too but you crying right now didn't make any help. You said so just now that you are the one that caused this to happen to him. So please do not make things worst here"."Jonghyun...Don't say that to her"."I have to Donghae hyung"."I agree with Jonghyun hyung. If we do not said it like that,she will not recognise her mistake. Playing with people's heart like it is her toy. Who does she think she is"."Din't be rude Minseok. I know what do you mean. But don't you see,she hurt too right now?"."No yunho hyung. Minho is my bestfriend. Seeing him in this conditon right now hurted me so much. Yes she hurted too right now but probably because just feeling guilty after what he do to him. She deserve any hurt feeling right now"."Changmin oppa. Don't say that. We understand her feeling. Don't add up to her hurt"."Thats enough guys. Don'targue anymore. Yes,she the caused all this but I agree with what Joo Hyun said just now. no need to add up on her wound right now".

   "Aboenim is right. Nana I want you to tell me the truth. Why exactly you crying right now?"."I don't know Jinki oppa. I just couldn't stand hearing him in that condition. It hurted me so much. Like half of my life being taken away from me"."Does that mean you love him right now"."I know I loved him since the first time my eyes land on him. I see him as the perfect guy. I feel really happy whe he confessed that he loves me but you know I can't accept him"."I heard your reason for what stopping you for being with him but it can be solve easily Nana".

   "How Minnie oppa. I don't want to be ungrateful person. My boyfriend will thrown me away. Don't get me wrong. I'm not the person who mercenary. I'm not being with him because he is rich but because I owe him too much in my life. If he thrown me away,what will happen to me. I will not have anything anymore. I will not have the place to stay the vehicles to go anywhere and even the money to get food. Her father give me all of that. I know I love Minho oppa but where will I go if Am's family take all that away from me. I'm only eighteen. I cannot survive without their help. Will Minho oppa and you guys help me along five years I be here. You guys has your own matters to take care of. Minho has his own family and needs too. How about me? What will I become? So you guys know now why I rejected him in the first place?"silents once again fill the area.

    "Thats not the important metter right now. If you love him,fight for it. Don't let other matters seperate your love. You guys love each other don't let anything ruin it"."Yes Nana what Manager Han said is true. Don't let our sacrifise for you and Minho to be together be wasted"."What do you mean by that Bummie oppa?"."That doesn't matter right now Nana. The important thing here is you must not give up and go see Minho oppa. Make him wake up. He loves you. Maybe your love will make him wake up just like a miracle"."I couldn't agree more with Amber. Go Nana. fight for your love"."Okay Shindong oppa. I will do it"."Nana fighting"Everyone cheer me up and I go straight to Minho oppa.

    "Oppa,this is Nana"I said as soon as I come into the room. I try not to sob loudly. But I can't help it. Seeing the one you love the most in this kind of condition hurted me so much. Minho oppa laying on the bed with many wires attached to his body and IV mask to support his breathing. I hold his hand and I still can get the warm from his hand. He seems laying comfortably without any sense of hurt in his face like this evening and yesterday. I know he is in coma now but his face shows a sign of calm.

   "Oppa,sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. Why you tried to reach me until this happen to you. You are a great person oppa. I don't deserve your love oppa. I'm afraid to fight for my love until the one who loves me getting hurt so bad. But oppa,please get up. I'm realise now. I need you more than all the money and properties that Am gave to me. I'm realise my fault and I want to fight for our love. I want to be with you. But if you not waking up right now I can't do it oppa. I can't fight for our love. We need both of us to fight for our love not just me. I want you oppa. No scratch that. I need you oppa. Please oppa,wake up now. I'm begging you"Suddenly Minho oppa body trembling and shaking vigorously. The monitor that sense her heartbeat showing that his heartbeat going really fast. I can hear the sound of his hartbeat really fast loudly.

   "Oppa,what happen to you. Please don't leave me yet. Someone help. Doctor"I screamed for help. I 'm really scared right now. I'm not ready for him to leave me yet. I'm just realise what I want truly want that is to be with him but he now in the state of leaving me.

    "Miss,we need you to go out right now. We need to do our job"."No,I want to stay here. I'm not going to leave him. I leave him once and I'm not going to do that anymore"."Nurse please send her out"."Please miss. We can not do our job if you are here"."But I'm scared if he leaving me"."I'm sorry miss. If you not leave now,we can not do our job and that patient can't be save"."No..no..please save him. I need him"."Thats okay nurse. We take care from here"All the unnies surround around me hold my body prevent me to enter the ICU room.

   "Minho,don't leave me. I love you so much. Jebal dorawa. Comeback to me please"I screamed from the bottom of my heart.

To be continue..Please forgive me for any mistakes. Please subscribe to my story. After this a lot idols will appear soon like Teen Top,Infinite,100%,Big Bang,B.A.P.,Apink and Secret. So please subcribes and continue reading my story if you want to know what the relation between Nana with these idols.