My relationship with Sungjae kept going worse, I could feel the coldness irradiating from him every time I stood close to him, but what bugged me even more, was how Ha In seemed to look worse and worse every time I saw her, was it obvious only to me? She looked paler, the shadows under her eyes were even more evident, even under all the concealer she had started wearing, which only proved she was trying to keep her problems hidden from everyone.

Even so, after that first time, I never asked her again, I didn’t want to force a response out of her, and even though I wanted to help her, I wouldn’t impose myself on her.

-Does anybody know where Peniel is? – Eunkwang asked.

We were on our resting room in the agency, we had called for take away, all sitting around the table, but Peniel was nowhere to be seen.

-I think he is talking with Ha In, hyung – Sungjae answered.

-Is she here? – Ilhoon asked.

-Yeah….She came with me after our date – Sungjae answered, this time emphasising the word date, or so I thought.

-Well, I guess she wanted to talk with Peniel, they haven’t been spending much time together right? – Changsub answered.

-She hasn’t been spending much time with any of us, every time we have free time the maknae will go on a date with her, you should let us spend some time with our cute dongsaeng too – Ilhoon whined.

Sungjae smiled and answered:

-Ah waeyoo? Not my fault! She’s my girlfriend!

-So? She is our dongsaeng! – Hyunsik protested.

They all started arguing over that, laughing and playfully hitting each other.

-I guess Minhyuk-hyung is lucky, he also gets to spend a lot of time with her right?

Changsub you idiot! Did you really have to bring that up?

-You say it as if we went to the amusement park every time we see each other, she is teaching me English, there’s nothing really exciting about it – I quickly said, lying a bit though.

-Woaah it’s been a long time since I don’t go to the amusement park! – Eunkwang side tracked – next time we get some free time we should go all together with Ha In to one, it would be really fun!

-Yes! I’ve been wanting to go on a rollercoaster for quite a while! – Hyunsik said, excitedly clapping.

-Yeah but Ha In doesn’t like rollercoasters – I muttered distractedly.

Everyone looked at me, kind of surprised.

-It came up….in one of the texts in my book, and she said she didn’t really like them… - I said.

Some of them shrugged, starting to talk about other things, but I could feel Sungjae’s eyes on me, he was looking at me, both surprise and resentment on his eyes, I looked back at him for a few seconds and then turned my head to look at the clock.

I was going to be late, so I stood up, on my way to the door.

-Hyung where are you going? You’re not eating? – Changsub asked.

-Ermm no, I’ve got no time, Ha In must be already waiting for me – I answered.

-She’s teaching you today? I thought it was on Saturdays – Hyunsik said.

-Yeah, but since she’s having dinner with Sungjae on Saturday she asked me if it was fine to have the lesson today, so she had time to cook and all that stuff…

I saw how Sungjae faintly smiled looking at the table.

-Well then, see you later guys! – I waved goodbye and exited the room.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

-I already told you it’s fine Peniel, please stop worrying.

-How can it possibly be fine Ha In? Have you seen yourself lately? You are not fine.

-Why do you keep insisting?

-I’m your best friend, that’s why, and I know what you’ve been through all these years, I know why you fainted in the gym, I know why you ran away from home all the way to Korea, I know all that, and I want it to stop happening.

-Can’t you see there’s not a thing you can do? Just stop it now that you aren’t too involved, I don’t want anything to happen to you.

-And what do you plan to do? Are you going to stay still?

-I….I don’t know.

Ha In’s voice broke, I wasn’t sure what was going on, but sure as hell there was something terribly wrong going on in her life, something she didn’t even want Peniel to know.

I stood there behind the door, as I heard feet moving, a soft sob came to me through the door, she was crying.

I fisted my hands, trying not to break into the room and take her in my arms, which was something that I was sure Peniel was already doing.

-Please Ha In – Peniel spoke this time, his voice sounded somehow teary too – let me help you, if anything happens, do you know how much it will hurt? To all of us?

If anything happens? What on earth was going on? It definitely was something bigger than couple problems.

-I know…Just…please, let me solve it by myself, it’s the best and safest way.

Peniel sighed, and feet moved towards the door, before I had time to hide myself, the door opened.

-Oh hyung! You’re here already? – Peniel greeted with a cheery tone that would have fooled me if not for what I had heard just now.

-Minhyuk-shi! You are early! – she said, appearing from behind my dongsaeng.

-Late in fact, but I don’t mind coming later if you want, if you two want to talk or spend some time together… - I said.

-No! That’s fine – she said, somehow desperately.

-Yeah, I’m hungry, I’m gonna go and get something to eat – Peniel rubbed his tummy comically.

-The guys ordered chicken not too long ago – I told him.

-Oh jinjayo? There I go! – he answered enthusiastically, and quickly made his way towards the resting room.

I entered the room, and took a good look at Ha In, she looked nervous, and worried, her makeup had smudged a bit because of her tears, and her shadows were more visible now.

-Ha In – I called.

-Hmm? – she muttered.

-If you want to cancel this lesson and go home, that’s fine with me, I would understand it.

She didn’t answer at first, but turned around and looked at me in the eyes.

-You’ve heard us – she wasn’t accusing, nor did she look angry, she was plainly stating a fact.

-Well, I have, but you were talking in English so….

-Come on, Minhyuk-shi, I’m teaching you, I’m well aware of how much you could have understood.

I swallowed, and somehow ashamed answered.

-Yeah, I heard you.

Once again, she didn’t utter a word, when I raised my head to look at her she was looking at me, and she smiled a bit, before saying.

-You don’t have to worry about it, it’s not a big deal.

Was she really expecting me to believe that?

-Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine, I understand it, after all, we aren’t close, but I think you should talk to Sungjae or Peniel about whatever is happening to you.

-But there’s nothing wrong with me! – she answered, cheerfully smiling.

-Does that fake smile work with Sungjae? Because I already know it doesn’t with Peniel.

-I seriously don’t want to talk about it – she grabbed her things and opened the door, but I was quicker.

I grabbed her by the arm and turned her around, so she was facing me, yanking her away from the door, and closing it by pressing her back against it. My arms, one at each side of her, blocked her way out.

-I already know you don’t want to talk about it – I said quietly, my voice filled with anger, not because I was mad at her, but because I was frustrated with the situation – but you really should.

She didn’t answer, and kept facing the floor.

-Look at me – I said.

She did what I asked from her, and slowly raised her head, we were close, really close, and I was surprised I hadn’t been aware of our closeness until now, we were so close our bodies were almost touching, and I could see the tears caught in between her lashes.

-Doing this isn’t helping anyone, whatever it is, you can’t handle it alone, and I know that, look at yourself, you are breaking, can’t you see how obvious it is? I noticed, and I barely spend time with you, do you have any idea of how much it must be hurting both Sungjae and Peniel to see you like that, unable to do anything because you won’t let them?

She gasped a bit, but her eyes didn’t move from mine, and I kept talking, because even if I wasn’t able to put myself in Sungjae’s place, as I wanted to, I was pouring all my frustration with those words.

-Listen – I sighed, and slowly retreated, giving both of us some space – I’m not asking you to tell me, I know I’m not close to you, but please, there’s a lot of people who love you, and are willing to help you, please, let them.

She didn’t say a word at first, she kept looking at me, her eyes wide opened, as in fear, and then, she suddenly started panting, her knees buckled and fell to the floor, she buried her head in her knees, and started crying her heart out.

-No, no, no, wait, Ha In, I’m sorry – I said, kneeling next to her – oh god I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to….I’m sorry I was so rude.

She took