-Hyung! Where were you? We were worried!! – Changsub said the moment I entered the dorm.

-Myaneyo guys, I woke up and I felt like working out a bit – I smiled half-heartedly.

-Are you still feeling bad from yesterday? – Hyunsik asked.

I took my time to answer.

-Yes…but I will get better – I said it more to myself than to them, and I truly hoped I was right.

-Hyung! – Sungjae said happily, I tried not to flinch, as I had been fearing what he would say to me the moment I knew he would eventually say it – palli we’re going to be late!

I breathed deeply grateful he didn’t want to brag about it.

-Arasseo, I’ll be ready in a second.

I quickly changed my clothes and left with the guys towards the CUBE dance practice room.

-Isn’t Ha In going to come? – Ilhoon asked, elbowing Sungjae.

-Yah hyung!! – Sungjae complained pushing him embarrassed – stop it already!!

I kept my face straight and ignored them as hard as I could.

-You should know it right?? Didn’t you talk with her before going to bed? Aigoo what a boyfriend you are! – Ilhoon teased.

Eunkwang cleared his throat and gave the two a look, then looked at me.

-That’s right! You shouldn’t keep Minhyuk-hyung unaware of the happy news – Hyunsik said smiling.

I scoffed to myself, happy my .

-Ah yeah…I…uhhh – Sungjae started, it was even worse than what I had imagined, Sungjae was rubbing his nape smiling nervously to the floor as he tried to pick his words while blushing at the memories, I just had the urge of covering my ears with my hands and start singing as hard as I could –hyung you know how much I like Ha In – ouch – and that I kinda confessed to her before our comeback.

-Yeah, she rejected you didn’t she? – it felt as if I was back to jerk mode, but I couldn’t help it.

-Well…..not really, to speak the truth I left before she had the chance to talk, but…yesterday at the party….

I know it already, I know it! Stop talking please!!!

I hid my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to keep my expression at least blank.

-We…well….we started dating – he finished, raised his head and looked at me, smiling brightly.

I know what he was expecting me to do, what they all were expecting me to do, actually, to smile, to congratulate him, to be my usual self and start a party to celebrate the fact that our maknae had gotten a girlfriend.

But I couldn’t, the mere effort of raising an inch the corners of my lips already took all my strength, as I was busy trying not to lose it again, the images from last night I had been blocking ever since I woke up running through my mind.

-Well that’s…. – I knew I had to say great or something like that, but darker thoughts filled my mind, as his hyung, he looked up to me, would he follow my advice if I told him to leave her? I shook the idea of my mind the moment it appeared, what’s wrong Minhyuk? Don’t you turn in exactly the same thing that made you in this situation right now! They are meant to be… - that’s awesome Sungjae-ah, I’m glad you two are together, you make such a cute couple.

It felt as venom in my mouth, but I truly meant it, truth hurts, oh and how much it does.

-Jinjayo? Gumawayo hyung! – said Sungjae, half hopping out of excitement.

I smiled a little, and some warmth covered my chest as I saw how glad my dongsaeng was that he had final gotten the girl he liked to like him back, then I remembered it was the same girl I was in love with and I went back to cold.

-So, is she coming or not? – asked Eunkwang.

Please no, please no, please no, she couldn’t appear in here, not yet, I wouldn’t be able to act throughout the whole day if she appeared, please, please please….

-No she’s not – Sungjae answered, I held a sigh – she has some work to do, but she told me she would definitely make it for our stage today.

Crap! She would come of course….Well calm down Minhyuk, you can do it, you may not even see her, it will all be busy with makeup, hair and stuff, you can manage to stay away…you might be able to not see her, it’s OK, everything will be fine.

I went throughout the whole practice thinking stuff like that, until it was finally time to leave for the recording set.

The walk from the car to the building was filled with screams, camera flashes and signs with our names written on them, and for once I didn’t pay attention to the fans, I didn’t smile, nor wink, nor do any kind of aegyo, I was too focused on my stomach, which was twisting, a knot on my throat, I was nervous, I was extremely nervous at the thought of seeing her again, because as much as I knew it would hurt, I wanted to see her, I was scared, but I needed to.

And I wasn’t the only nervous one, once we arrived to the waiting room Sungjae ran to a mirror, and tried to fix his clothes, his hair….

-Look how nervous our maknae is!! So cute – Hyunsik teased.

Sungjae glared at Hyunsik, but didn’t answer.

Time went by as we got ready for the performance, and she hadn’t arrived yet, I was starting to feel both hopeful and disappointed, and then…knock, knock, knock.

Three soft knocks on the door, that’s all it took to get my heart beating as if I had just finished performing, that’s all it took for Sungjae to go back to red and jump to his feet as if he had been burned.

-Ah otokke otokke otokke??? – he started pacing nervously around the room, if it wasn’t because of the situation I was in, I would have laughed my head off.

-Jeez, relax maknae, she’s your girlfriend right? – Ilhoon said, and laughed as that made him even more nervous.

Peniel went to the door.

-Hi there Ha In!

-Hi Peniel! – she said.

The sound of her voice made my heart stop, and it took all my willpower to fight the urges of looking at her.

I was aware of the other members went to greet her, and I was left behind with Sungjae, who seemed too nervous to go near to her.

-Where…is Sungjae? – she asked, as he was half hidden.

He got out the moment he heard her ask for him, it was funny how he went to her just as a puppy who had been called, really cute, and really bitter.