Sunday, August 10

Today was our “day off”… which basically means we practiced all day. I’m very physically tired, which plays into my being emotionally and mentally tired too.

Most of the day was pretty uneventful. However, there’s still obvious tension between Taemin and Onew.

Ugh, this is such a mess.

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t really know what to say to Taemin, and I’d like to talk to Onew, but I’m afraid to do so in front of Taemin.

After practicing all day, Taemin asked me if I wanted to go out.

“Out?” I asked.

“Yeah, out! We haven’t been on a date in a while!”

I smiled at him. I miss him, but recently he’s seemed like a different person.

But, I really do want to spend some time with him. And, I plan on asking him about the tension between him and Onew.

So I said yes, came home, and took a shower. We’re about to head out. We’ll see how this goes.

Later

Well.

Things started out good. We went out to dinner and talked and laughed, but I noticed a strange lack of holding hands and things like that.

I think that, not only do I feel far from Taemin right now, I think he feels far from me too.

Is he worried that I might like Onew?

After we ate, we went to go see a movie. I don’t remember much of the movie.

The entire time, I wanted to put my head on Taemin’s shoulder and hold his hand. But it just felt way too awkward. So, I just sat in silence. Not paying attention to anything that was happening on screen.

Finally, we went and walked around a park. It was dark, but the lights from the city looked beautiful and romantic.

We sat down on a park bench and he put his arm around me. Time to talk about some serious stuff.

“Is your life always like this?” I asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve been so busy these last couple of weeks. I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, this is pretty normal.”

“Onew said the same thing.”

I felt Taemin tense up beside me.

“Are you and Onew okay?” I asked.

“Of course! Why would you think that we aren’t?”

I sighed. It didn’t appear that he was going to be honest. “It just seems like there’s a lot of tension between the two of you recently.”

“No. Everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure?

He smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes.

He noticed my change in expression. “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m just tired. Can we go home now?”

“Yeah.”

So we came back. The ride here was awful. Neither of us said a word, and I couldn’t stop tears from spilling out of my eyes.

When we got back, we said goodnight and went our separate ways.

Now what do I do?

Monday, August 11

6:00 AM

Okay, it is WAY too early to be awake. But we’ve got a long day of filming ahead of us.

Today is the first day of week 3: Key Week.

It should be fun! I don’t normally hang out with Key that much, so I’m looking forward to spending more time together.

But today is the day that we all hang out in the dorm together. I hope we’ll all be able to have fun together.

6:47 AM

Okay. Um… I’m currently sitting in SHINee’s living room… alone.

No seriously. I have no idea where anyone is!

I thought that everyone would be up, but they’re not out here.

I knocked on their rooms, but they weren’t there either.

I can’t get ahold of anyone. Not Taemin, not Onew, not even my manager.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!

I’m going to go make breakfast.

7:32 AM

I’m still totally alone.

I made my breakfast, ate it, and cleaned up, but nobody came.

So, I went downstairs to find the van. It’s not here.

So… Um… I guess I’m just going to… sit here… on the sofa… and wait…

8:12 AM

Waiting is TOTALLY LAME!

OMG what am I supposed to be doing?

I guess I’m going to practice my dance… I can’t think of anything better to do.

10:45 AM

That’s it. I’m going for a walk. I’ve been dancing around for 2 hours and there’s still nobody here.

I’m outta here.

12:58 PM

So I went for a walk and got some lunch.

But I swear there was someone following me.

I’m getting a little freaked out.

I tried calling Onew, but he didn’t pick up.

……………………………………

So, I’m back at the dorm… I’m going to play some video games.

2:28 PM

A couple of minutes ago, I got a text from Minho saying “Sorry we didn’t respond earlier. We’re downstairs right now. You should come meet us.”

I was really confused as to what ever happened to filming today. Why would they just leave without telling me?

But when I got downstairs, the guys were nowhere to be seen.

When I came back, the sofa was turned around backwards so it’s facing the wall now.

So I scoured the dorm for people. THERE’S NO ONE HERE!!!

I even shouted down the hallway, but nobody responded.

At this point, I’m pretty sure this is all some elaborate prank.

I’m heading over to the SM building… I need to know what’s happening.

11:28 PM

I just got back from SM.

As it turns out, I was intentionally left behind this morning.

Why? Because a secret camera was installed last night while I was sleeping. That was the “fun” thing that we did today.

Earlier, when I left and thought there was someone following me… THERE WAS!

There were a couple of cameramen on my tail as I walked around outside.

That means that now they have footage of me spinning around in the living room and making random noises.

I WAS BORED, OKAY?!

So that’s not awkward at all.

Of course, all the boys think it’s hilarious.

I was by myself all day, really confused. At least, until I got to SM and the boys explained to me what was going on.

I was a little bit annoyed. They admitted that they each had several texts from me and they got a good laugh from that.

*sigh* They like to give me a hard time, those boys.

Anyway… today was… fun…

Tomorrow is my one-on-one training day with Key. Hopefully that will be a little less aggravating.

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Congratulations to SHINee on their big win!

They totally deserved it!


WE LOVE SHINEE!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3