I'm just not sure

SHINee's American Dongseng

Monday, June 30

 

So I've been back in the States for a little over a week now. I've been spending the last week doing pretty much nothing. I keep asking my mom and dad what they think about the whole S.M. thing, but we haven't come to a decision yet.

I mean, I'm not even 19. I was going to finish my college degree, become a physics teacher, get married and have some kids. I never asked for anything special out of life. My sister, Sarah, always makes fun of me because I would be perfectly happy living the american dream. 2 kids, a little house, a loving husband, a picket fence.

But this is still the opportunity of a lifetime! I could move to South Korea, become a celebrity, and my life would never be ordinary again. Not to mention Taemin. I actually really really like him. It's not just that he's famous, or attractive, but he's a great guy. I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life.

 

Who am I to be talking about such a commitment? I'M FREAKING 18!!!

 

 

My dad always said that if an opportunity came up in college that I should take it, but I'm not sure that moving permanantly halfway across the globe is what he had in mind.

 

 

 

When I see someone performing on stage... my heart aches... I want to be up there so badly...

I actually have a chance to become a star...

 

but, my future... my life... my plans... I'm not sure I'm ready to give them all up.

 

I don't know what to do. I've spent most of my time this week lying on my bedroom floor, watching the ceiling fan spin around.

 

Do I stay in the U.S. and live a normal life? or do I go to Korea and never have a normal life ever again? I'm just not sure.

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silversorbet #1
Chapter 39: I'm so happy for you~ I can't say that I'm not sad you're not gonna finish the story but it's okay! I wish you all the best with Patrick. :) I have no romance in my life whatsoever but who knows, maybe one day. I hope you guys stay happily together and if you do ever come back to writing, Imma be here~
BabyLocket #2
Chapter 39: Wow, good for you... i mean it! I'm really happy for you. I completely understand your decision and although i will miss your updates, i will be happy knowing that what you are experiencing is giving you more happiness than this ever could. I personally do not have any romance in my life but i'm glad you are lucky enough to. I understand that authors on AFF are first and foremost doing so for their own enjoyment and self-fulfilment so i would;t wan to push you or guilt you into writing when you don't really feel the pleasure your writing brings anymore. I wish you all the best on your relationship, Patrick is a lucky man! ;) Look after yourself author-nim!! <3 Ppyong! Xx
BabyLocket #3
Chapter 38: Actually i think i prefer this. Now that i think about it Tae and her weren't really the most compatible couple but Onew has a lot of the things Tae was missing. I always knew he had a great body! (but he's so modest that we never get to see!!) I want Tae to know what he did to Onew so he can be sorry and apologise for being so silly because then that should be able to fix THEIR relationship as brothers. I'm glad they made up though and there isn't going to be this long angsty silence between then so this is much better. And i'm also glad that Hanah realises that she is too soon out of a relationship, it wouldn't be good for anyone if she tried to get with Onew so soon after Tae. But i REALLY enjoyed this chapter!!! ^_^ Update soon, arraso?! <3 Ppyong! Xx
BabyLocket #4
Chapter 37: I can't say i think what Hanah did is right but i agree that Taemin definitely overreacted! It was an accident and she was drunk and at least she told him to his face rather than letting him find out by accident later. It was certainly not something they should have broken up over. He will come around, or if not he will later regret not doing so. I hope she doesn't run immediately to Onew as that could make the whole situation worse and more awkward but i would be fine if she does so later if Tae is still being this ridiculous because at least Onew trusts her and sees things much more maturely, plus it is obvious that he cares about her and can make her happy whereas Tae has been pretty untrusting and uptight for a lot of the time they were together. Either way, great chapter! <3 Ppyong! Xx
BabyLocket #5
Chapter 36: Ooh i wonder who it is? Minho is a great big brother type i would think. I've always Luved Minho but if i ever really did get to meet them, i'm sure i would see him as an older brother rather than a crush... a big brother who happens to have AMAZING abs. :P Either way, good chapter!! Sorry i am taking forever to catch up but i have been really busy recently and i don't get the chance to be online very much anymore!! <3 Ppyong! Xx
HIPgirl95 #6
Chapter 38: Sorry it took me so long to post. I've started up school again. I actually probably wouldn't have posted today except that BabyLocket commented and reminded me that there are actually people out there who want me to update.

Please leave me some comments! I want to know what you guys think and it reminds me to get off my lazy and update.

Also, I posted this chapter off my phone, which I've never done before. If there are any horrible mistakes or if something doesn't make sense, please let me know,

Thanks for reading!!! 사랑해요!!!
Tofutime_000 #7
Waaah update!!!
BabyLocket #8
Chapter 35: Aigoo <3 I luv Onew Oppa, he's so cute!! I hope She can deal with Tae soon, waiting to tell him is only going to make it worse when she finally does!!! Good chapter, i enjoyed it! ^_^ <3 Ppyong! Xx
BabyLocket #9
Chapter 34: Aww Big brother Minho Oppa is really cute!! ^_^ I like the plays, also the tone of the diary is really realistic!! Sorry i haven't been keeping up with the updates, i've been a little busy!! Anyway, great update! <3 Ppyong! Xx
leeminhoyeha #10
Chapter 37: OH THE DRAMA
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