Decisions
SHINee's American DongsengFriday, July 11
I really miss SHINee.
It's been weird... the first week back, Taemin would text me everyday... I usually ignored him. I still have been ignoring him.
Onew gave me his number though and I talk to him sometimes.
A couple days ago, I started listening to my kpop playlist on my phone again. I bought the "Why So Serious" music video last summer, and it's on my phone.
It started playing while I was listening to my music. I watched it. And then I cried. For an hour.
I really miss them all. I've spent most of my time the last couple of days on the internet... watching music videos. I just want to see their faces again. Especially Taemin.
I just... I miss him so much... Taemin...
My parents have noticed. I think they're worried about me. I'm worried about me too. If I don't go back, I think I may fall into a spiraling pit of depression. I'll probably never get off the internet.
Thinking about them makes me want to cry.
I went to see a concert last week...
It occured to me that I could be the person onstage singing in front of thousands of screaming fans. With Taemin dancing next to me.
I need to see him again.
I need to be up on that stage.
I could have both...
It would be the biggest adventure ever...
I'm going to think about it a couple more days...
But...
I think I've come to a decision...
I'm going back.
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