I probably won't be posting at regular intervals. Sometimes I write a lot and sometimes I don't write at all.

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Sunday, June 22

Well, this is it. This entry is coming to you from 40,000 feet. That’s right. I’m going back to the states. *sigh*

Well… this isn’t going to be easy… I have a lot of mixed emotions going on inside me right now.

Oh hey! You don’t know anything about what happened last night, do you? I totally forgot. Writing it all down should help improve my mood. Where did I leave off?

Oh okay, SHINee’s concert was just about to start.

I stood backstage and watched as the boys took their places. All the boys looked over at me. I waved. Taemin smiled and Onew gave me a thumbs up. Then the concert began.

Oh. My. God. It was amazing! The guys are so different on stage. They stop being the Smiling Onew, the Motherly Key, the Teasing Minho, the Goofy Jonghyun, and the Sweet Taemin. They turned into something totally new. They were shining SHINee. They just had so much power on stage, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

Especially Taemin. Good GOD! My Oppa is super y when he dances. I couldn’t stop watching him the whole show. All the other guys were really amazing too. I absolutely melted when Onew sang, and Key has such incredible confidence! As for Minho and Jonghyun, they looked like they were born to be on stage.

But God, Taemin. I had never seen that side of him in person. I had a lot of feelings going through me that I would rather not put on paper. Let’s just say… No… I really can’t. You know what I’m getting at though.

After the performance, the guys all came backstage. “Well, Hannah” asked Taemin, “what did you think?”

What I was really thinking is that I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and then kiss him until I couldn’t breathe. And then keep kissing him anyway. But I wasn’t about to tell him that. “You guys were incredible!” I said instead.

He laughed at me. “So does this make you want to join our company more?” He asked.

I laughed too, but I didn’t answer him.

When we got home, it was really late. Everyone headed to bed. I tried to go to sleep, but couldn’t. I just sat on my bed with the lights on, thinking about everything that had happened since I arrived in Korea.

“You’re still awake?”

I jumped. I’m very easily startled. It was Taemin at the door. He laughed when he saw how scared I got.

“Don’t DO that!” I fussed. “What about you? Couldn’t sleep?”

“No.” He came and sat on the bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my cheek into his chest. He’s so strong, I could feel all his muscles and his slow breathing. Remembering how amazingly y he looked onstage, I admit, I was having a hard time controlling myself.

We sat in silence until we both fell asleep, and we stayed that way until morning. When I woke up, Taemin was still asleep. I looked up at him. “He’s incredibly good looking” I thought. I reached up and kissed his soft, warm lips.

My kiss woke him up. He smiled and touched my face.

I buried my face into his chest, trying to cover up the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Eventually we had to get up so I wouldn’t miss my flight. The boys couldn’t come with me, so I said my goodbyes in the dorm.

“Goodbye everyone! Thank you so much for letting me stay here!” I said.

“Come back anytime!” Onew replied with a smile.

I smiled back and turned my attention to Taemin. “Bye Oppa.”

He gave me a massive hug and kissed the top of my head. “Goodbye Hannah. Please come back soon.”

I let go of Taemin and walked to the front door. Before leaving, I turned around and smiled at everyone. “Bye guys!” I said, waving.

They all waved back.

I left the building and got in the van back to the airport. I cried the whole way there.

Well telling that whole story didn’t exactly improve my mood… We’ll just have to wait and see how things turn out.

The plane’s about to land. I don’t think I’m going to write again today.