“Mom, say you’re joking.” I stared at her but she didn’t show any signs of taking back what she said. “Mom, you can’t just send me away.”

“We’re not sending you away. We just think it’s a good opportunity.”

“Mom, that would be six or seven years in America.” There was no way I am going to be away from home for that long. I had things to take care of here! What was she thinking?

“Six, if you finish your undergraduate in three years.”

I gaped at her. Did she hear herself? How can she say it like it’s no big deal, because it was. It was a big deal to be gone for six years. 

“You don’t have to decide right now, go sleep on it and we’ll talk more tomorrow.” She left me sitting there in a blank state.

Today, I have managed to get into a fight that left me with a busted cheek, I got into an argument with Youngjae, and now I was at risk of being sent to America for seven years…six years, if I’m lucky.

I have never felt so much pressure stepping into school before.

Last night, I cracked. I needed someone to talk to and I called Eunji. She listened and allowed me bawl on the phone for God knows how long. I had told her everything, from A to Z, my feelings for Daehyun and how much of a jerk I am for trying to steal him from Eunhee and to how Youngjae must hate me now. She told me everything was going to be okay and that she would be there with me. Like she promised, she was beside me all the way.

As soon as I stepped inside the hallway, everyone’s heads turned towards me. I definitely missed something. I ignored the looks and continued in. What was I scared of anyway?

“She really doesn’t know when to give up.”

“Isn’t she ashamed of herself?”

Those words meant nothing to me. Because they don’t understand and I didn’t need them to.

“Wow, she could still show up to school?”

I went to my locker and as soon as I opened it, piles of trash greeted me, littering the floor beside my shoes.

I could ignore that.

I pressed my lips together and took my books out. The insulting words scribbled all over my books, I could also ignore that. Just because it was written, it didn’t mean I have to take it as true.

“Soojin.” Eunji tried to get my attention but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I didn’t want her to think it affected me.

The next moment, I was shoved into the lockers and I spun around only to have the front of my uniform grabbed. “You dare to show your face here?” Sokyung had found herself in front of me again. “No one wants to see someone who can’t keep their hands to themselves.”

“What are you talking about?” Eunji stepped up to my defense.

Sokyung scoffed. “She’s your best friend and you don’t know?” She looked back at me and smirked. “She’s only interested in stealing boyfriends now.” She crossed her arms in front of her.

“Sokyung, don’t stand here and pretend you’re Miss Righteousness either.” I retorted. “You have been bullying the kids here so don’t start preaching.”

“Sokyung, I’m sure you have better things to do so go away.” Eunji stood in between us only to have Sokyung shove her.

“You’re just the same if you hang out with her.”

“Hey! Don’t touch her like that!” I grabbed Sokyung’s hand. “Fine, you want me to leave?” She yanked her hand from my grip. “If I leave, you leave Eunji alone.” I looked at her one last time before turning on my heels.

It felt good to not have to worry about anything for a while. I didn’t have to see Sokyung’s face anymore, I didn’t have to deal with facing Youngjae, I didn’t have to see Eunhee and feel guilty, and I didn’t have to deal with stupid math I was failing.

But, since I didn’t understand stupid math….does that mean I’m more stupid?

Eh, whatever. Let’s not worry about it.

When I try to push away one thought, another would quickly take its place. No matter how much I wanted to block it out, Youngjae’s words continued to ring in my head. Was I that despicable?

I closed my eyes and let the wind blow past my face. How n