Hyomi's POV:

We had arrived at the grave site and I was still hesitaing to go in.

"Ready?" Changwoo asked also taking a huge breath.

"Yeah..." I mumbled as he laced his fingers through mine, sending me a little bit of comfort. We walked up to a rectangular grave with Choi Jonghyun enscribbed on it with his picture right under. I couldn;t bare to look and looked at the grass instead.

"I can't believe he's really gone.." i heard Changwoo mumble. I didn't want to think about him. If i did, i knew i would cry. It really was my fault. If i hadn't been stupid and ran somewhere where there wasn't a dead end, he would still be alive.

"Stop it," Changwoo was suddenly staring at me hurt.

"What?" i asked him smiling. "I'm fine."

"No you aren't, i know you aren't Hyomi," Changwoo squeezed my hand making me wince.

"It's not your fault."

"I know."

"No you don't, the look on your face spells "i feel guilty."

"Shut up, it doesn't." He pulled me towards him into a hug. His hugs were warm and soft like a pillows. I was about to place my arms around him, but a something in my chest said i shouldn't so i just stood still clenching my fists at my side.

"Look at me for once," he spoke in my ear. "I'm alive. I'm right here. Why can't you see that?" I flinched at the word alive. How could he say that to me? I pushed away from him making sure he knew how hurt I was for him to say that. He looked at me surprised.

"Hyomi...I--"

"How could you say that? When he's seriously right in front of us?" I almost yelled tears b my eyes. He looked at me even more hurt. I should've just kept it to myself...what have I done?

"I didn't mean it that way....." Changwoo sighed rubbing his head in confusion. Our eyes locked and I could tell that his eyes were as watery just as mine.

"Listen to me Hyomi...you have no idea how hard it is to see you like this....same goes for Youngmin....Watching you force yourself to think everything is okay....it's definitely NOT okay with me.....Jonghyun wouldn't want to see you like this...." he looked at Changjo's grave stone. "Smile for him, smile for ME."

Finally, a small tears broke it's way through my defenses and travled down my cheek. Changwoo reached up to wipe it away, but pulled back only to shed a tear of his own. I reached up and wipped it myself holding his face in my hands and smiled.

"Our tears stay here, together....for Jonghyun," Our watery-red eyes met each other threatening to release a flood of sadness. He placed his hand on top of mine and closed his eyes as if in pain.

Go to him. I looked past Changwoo and for a moment, I thought I saw Jonghyun looking at me with the saddest smile. Hyomi.....you were never in love with me before this happened....do you know how I know? The voice rang in my ears as I stared at the illusion of Jonghyun's spirit. Because you were already in love with Changwoo before you even realized it. I was too late to realize my own feelings. Youngmin gave up his feelings. Acknowledge our sacrifices. We WANT you two to be together. Don't worry about me anymore. What happened was not your fault. Don't put it on yourself. I want you to be happy so i can go and watch you from a better place than here. I want you to smile for me one last time. Before i even realized it, my defenses broke and the tears released themselves as the corners of my mouth formed into a smile granting Jonghyun's wish. I watched Jonghyun close his eyes and look back at me. I love you. I was afraid to blink because I knew he would be gone, but the tears were stingy my eyes and the wind was against me. And I was right. As soon as I blinked, he was gone. I could no longer feel his presence around me. Only Changwoo's warmth around my hand comforted me. He my hair and wiped my tears away.

"I could hear it....his voice...." he mumbled. "I think i've gone insane."

"No....you aren't insane...because I heard it too...." I closed my eyes savoring the last memory of him and engraving it my mind so I could never forget him and his voice. Goodbye my first love.

Then we heard crunching noises behind us and I turned to see the Teen Top members with flowers and food.

"Hyomi?" Niel looked at me from head to toe surprised to see me. Immeditally Changwoo and pulled away from each other, but Changwoo held me hand steady.

"Niel...You guys are here..." I wipped the remaining tears away from eyes. 

"How long have you been here?" Chunji asked looking at Jonghyun's grave with sadness.

"15 minutes ago," I replied pointing to Changwoo's car. We stepped aside for the Teen Top members and watched on the side lines. As soon as Ricky looked at the grave, his eyes watered instantly. C.A.P and L.Joe seemed to be the only ones who could hold themselves steady. Chunji, Niel, and Ricky placed the flowers next to the grave stone and immeditally walked back holding in their tears. Watching them made me feel even more guilty, but Jonghyun had said it wasn't my fault and that I had to be happy for him. I felt Changwoo squeezing my hand tightly once more and saw him glance at me. The glance that said "We need to talk later." I sighed and nodded with a smile. Sure, i wasn't fully recovered yet. I probably will never be, but for the sake of the people around me, I have to keep smiling. I'll finally let him go.

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But what about Jaesoo? Was this my final decsion?

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A/N: Ermygahhh how long has it been? xD Guess where I was ;3 I went to do a second round audition for JYP!!!! Exciting xDD I stayed home today because of jet lag @_@ so i decided to write  a chapter today <3 Sorry for being so haitus lately TT^TT I is so sorry subbies <3 but thank you for waiting :) Subscribe and comment for more <3 Thanks!