(OST – Perfectly Imperfect by Superscar)

Day one of the boot camp filming had commenced. I had met up with the twenty five dancers that were in my group, fourteen boys and eleven girls.

“Good morning everyone,” I quickly greeted them as they all trailed into the practice room given to us.  They responded slightly sleepily which reminded me of how I had once been not used to the late hours and the early morning rises. “As you would know we have to put together a three minute performance on the last day of boot camp.” They nodded waiting for me to continue. “Well to help with that and to also assist me in deciding the final twelve I have brought along a friend.” Turning to the curtain I called, “come on out.”
 

Jongin bounded out much to the surprise of everyone who clapped or cheered. “Hello it’s nice to meet you.” He said cheerfully. I pulled him aside and asked Kim Seungwoo to come out.

“He’s the same age as you.”

“Oh really,” Jongin then reached a hand out and they greeted, starting to talk informally. When the excitement had died down I then got everyone seated to brain storm.

“So how should we do this? Lift up your hand if you have an idea.” Five hands came up. Jongin and I made sure to pay attention to what the group were saying.

“Ballroom dances?”

“Could we do a dance that is edgy such as break dancing?”

“Or maybe a mix of boy verses girl dancing?”

Some ideas were rather ridiculous. “Could the boys wear tutus?” We were very quick to disagree. And then Joonah thought of something. She didn’t like having us all turn and watch her as she tried to explain her idea.

“M-maybe we could b-blend them?”

That got me and Jongin thinking. “Hmm that’s an idea.” I agreed. “We would have to get some help with the areas we aren’t familiar with.”

Jongin glanced at the group. “But some of you should be familiar with different styles at least.” There were some nods. “Excellent,” Jongin stood up. “We’ll group everyone based on their main style and work from there ok?”

We now had a plan of action. The cameras captured us as we began to figure out the parts for each group and how to fit it all into the three minute performance.

Ω

The director pulled me aside for an explanation about our dance. “We’re going to do a combined performance. It means we’re pulling contemporary, hip hop, popping and even jazz into one.”

“Won’t it be hard to blend them in so that it would not be obvious in the dancing?”

“We’re going to separate the dances that have the similarities in style to opposite ends of the performance.” I told him. “It’s like we’re knitting a rainbow sweater using all our colours to make something truly remarkable.”

The days were passing before the performance at Boot Camp. It was day three and two days before the big event and the eliminations. Jongin had to leave for a schedule so I was coaching for the final days towards it. Everyone was practicing the choreography except the jazz dancers bumped into those who were trying to leave the space after doing hip hop. I cut the music. Everyone came to a steady pause.

“What are you doing?” My voice was starting to rise. “We’ve got the routine down so why is it still sloppy?”

“We’re bumping into them as we come so it’s—“

“—I don’t want excuses.” I cut him off, sharply. “It’s important that you pay attention to when the hip hoppers have left. You then have three seconds to skip onto the stage and dance.”

Everyone’s moods were down and I began to feel somewhat guilty for being so strict. “Do it again.” Going back to the stereo I played the music again. One minute through and so far so good things ran smoother. But come to the minute and a half mark and the pop and lockers were out of synch and routine.

I paused the music and went over to the three guys and one girl. “You’ve forgotten your moves and you are not moving in time.”

“We’re sorry teacher—“

“Sorry?” I heaved a rather exaggerated but deliberate sigh. I turned around to look at them all. “Why are we still forgetting the dance moves?! Why are we still clumsy at entering and exiting; and why do we have to keep going over it?! Did I pick a bunch of talentless, lazy people?!”

Their faces had fallen. I hadn’t intended to be so harsh. Some of the girls’ faces crinkled as though they were about to cry. The director with the camera men who had caught that on film cut the recording.
“Taemin-ssi, you should go to the stylist and decide on the outfits for the performance.” I agreed and excused myself with the director who followed behind with his crew.

In the trailer of the stylist I gave the team a basic outline of what I wanted and they began to get to work. As soon as I stepped outside the trailer a camera was pointed at my profile.

“Taemin-sshi, tell us what happened in there.”

I wet my bottom lip. “I am rather impatient and as you can see I was careless with how I talked. I should apologise to them soon.” They trailed after me as I went back to the practice room. They stopped and straightened up.

“I just wanted to apologise.” Cameras on or off it didn’t matter. “I was rather harsh on you all back there and it wasn’t right.” My face must have showed how sorry I felt for everyone started to soften. I bowed to them and they started to smile.

Everyone got ready to resume practice and I went to play the music. “From the top,” I said a lot calmer than I had been before. I started to count the beats as the first group started their part. Counting the heads I realised there were only twenty four.

“Hold on,” I stopped them. “Where’s Seungwoo?”

The second oldest male dancer Kim Janghyun spoke up. “After what happened he left. We haven’t seen him since.”

Alarmed I quickly left before the staff could come after me. I had to find him.

Ω

Stopping at the corners I glanced around them and then went to find the other judges to see if they had seen him. “Hyung,” he came out of his room.

“Yeah Taemin-ah?”

“Have you seen Kim Seungwoo?” He thought and then shook his head. I apologised for bothering him and then went to find the others. Nor Bomi or Hyung Joon sunbae had seen him. The sky was dark and the time close to eleven thirty.

Eventually I just walked around the place aimlessly. We were at a dance academy on the edge of Seoul which had accommodation for students who had to live on campus. Coming down towards the entrance I noticed a shape sitting slumped on the grass.

The closer I got the more I recognised the back of his head. He turned as I came over to him.
“I’m sorry sunbae.” He started as I sat down next to him. His arms went up as he held his face. “I can’t do it.”

“You can do it.”

“I’ve tried for years and years yet I…” He was shaking. “I can’t… I can’t do it…” I patted him on the back as he started to cry.

“Seungwoo, you’re really, really good.” I emphasized to him. “I picked you for a reason. Because I think you can go far in this competition.”

“B-but I kept messing up the moves…” He wiped his red and swollen eyes. “I’m the oldest in the group. My body is not as young as the others. I’m a lot slower.”

This was going nowhere. Thinking back I honestly had to try and convince him otherwise. “Seungwoo, when you auditioned do you remember who was there on the side watching you?”

He went back to that time. “My mother was there.”

“That’s right,” I said. “She came and supported you. Here you can call her if you need to hear her voice. When I was a trainee I had little time to myself.” It was a struggle for me back then. Remembering it made my heart twinge. “I didn’t get to call my mother or father or hyung. The practice days were long and we would be disciplined firmly if we made a mistake. But I made it, me, the rest of SHINee and Jongin-ah. We became stronger as a result and proficient at dancing, singing, performing in general.”

He looked at me. “How did you do it? How did you find the strength to go on in those times hyung?”

“I prayed,” I said simply. “I just prayed that I would have the ability to keep going.” Tilting my head down my eyes went to my bracelet. “And when I wasn’t able to pray then I would just feel this and feel strengthened.” I rubbed some of the beads. Glancing at the time I saw it was getting late.

“Call your mother. We’ll go to bed now and get up an hour early for another practice before breakfast alright?” He nodded and joined me.

“Thank you hyung,” he told me quietly, “for believing in me that is.”

I made a comforting smile at him. “Your mother was the first to believe in you. I’m only following in her footsteps.” I reached out and hugged him. He got his phone to call his mother while I went back to tell the others my decision.

Pray. I realised there was something that I did need to clear up. My steps slowed to one slow step at a time as I paused, clutching some of my bracelet in my hand. Lifting my head to the sky I breathed out a cloud of air.

“I know she still probably feels some hurt about what happened. I was stupid back then Lord. Help me to make things better with her. Even if it is just friends…”

Just friends; is that what I really long for?

If that is so then why do I want to make sure that I don’t mess up badly this time?

Ω
Hi everyone I’m back from my short break I hope we don’t mind this chapter that had no Naeun in it. Wait for the next chapter and they will meet again I will make sure that this indeed happens.