(OST- Breathe again by Sara Barellies )

Oppa, why did you…

No, Taemin how could you?

Seeing him leave like that made me crumble. The downpour was so heavy he wouldn’t have heard my sobs. It didn’t matter anyway. I was weak because he had made me so.

No… I had not heeded the warnings of those who cared for me. I had honestly disregarded them or taken them too lightly. Instead of engraving them on my heart I had written them in a book and left it for dust to settle, metaphorically speaking.

My manager called sometime later to check on me. He picked me up and I got into the car, doing my best to cover up the makeup which had run. I think he might have suspected something happened but he didn’t ask or try to speak to me which was fine. I needed my space.

The moment the other members saw me they knew immediately what may have occurred. Eunji unnie was by my side along with Namjoo. I didn’t tell them anything; just ate dinner and went to bed.

“Unnie, unnie wake up.” Someone was shaking my arm. Blinking my eyelids I slowly glanced at Hayoung who was the cause of my wake. That wasn’t my main concern. Something was wrong. Why did I feel as though I was lying on a bed of ice?

“Hayoung what’s the hold up?” I heard our leader’s voice call along with footsteps. The door opened and soon she was watching me.

Hayoung glanced at me a little closer. “She looks a little pale. Do you think she’s ok?”

I felt a warm hand against my head. Chorong unnie placed it against her head as well. “Her temperature seems to be high.”

“Please turn the heater on,” I said almost chattering. They both stared at me.

“What are you talking about Naeun? It is on.”

“T-then w-w-why d-does it feel s-so c-c-cold?”

Chorong unnie pushed at Hayoung. “Get manager oppa. She’s running a fever.”

“Naeun is sick?!” Bomi unnie, Eunji unnie and Namjoo all came in and joined Chorong unnie in watching me. Our manager came in and tested my forehead as well. He then made a rather solemn nod and was on the phone.

“I’ll call the company.”

“What about a doctor?!”

“Bomi-ya he will don’t worry.”

Meanwhile I just pulled the blankets up higher before I became even colder. This week couldn’t have gotten any worse.

Ω

It took three days for me to recover and be out of bed for our schedules. The company got me an IV to make sure that I would be alright. People got wind of the news and soon I was getting messages on Twitter checking I was ok.

He sent me a text which I ignored. Even if he was genuinely concerned I did not want to speak to him. What had happened in the rain was the dramatic conclusion of us. At least I didn’t have to see him for a while.

Chorong unnie got us singing along to one of our songs on the way to our schedule which was an awards show. It was nearing the end of the year so a lot of our time would go to public appearances regardless of whether we performed or not.

“Omo,” I heard Eunji unnie exclaim. The rest of us glanced around and then we realised why.

How come he was here too?

I saw him lift his head from his phone and Namjoo glanced at me before we quickly kept going on. He didn’t have to see us and fortunately for me it looks as though he may have not done that.

“Ignore him,” Eunji told me as we were getting powdered for our appearance. “He’s just here to do his job like the rest of us.” I nodded but still it made me uneasy in my stomach.

Ten minutes later we were preparing to go on stage to perform. He had gone three singers before us so at least I could still avoid him. Despite only just getting back on my feet I gave it my best for the crowd, the fans and the other members.

“Naeun are you ok?”

“I am,” I had answered while stumbling. Namjoo checked on me and guided me to a seat.

“I think you’re over doing it unnie.”

Shaking my head I tried to assure her that I wasn’t before a voice cut the conversation cleanly in half.
“Naeun,” I stiffened at him using my name. Turning my head I finally saw where he was. He was still in his costume, a white long sleeved shirt with puffy sleeves and black trousers. Namjoo eyed me and I quickly rose.

“Let’s go back,” was my response to her. She gave me her arm and we linked them to walk back. He kept calling out my name; others paused to stare our way however I had decided to not talk to him. Anyone who asked would just be politely told to mind their own business.

In our waiting room I felt the black evaporate from my sight as Bomi unnie woke me. “We have to go back on stage for the final song.”

Rubbing my eyes she checked if I was alright before I moved at the speed of a snail from my chair. Walking with the others we went to the stage where we stood behind Eunji unnie who was one of the main singers for the final number.

Her and… Oh no.

We’d forgotten he was one of the five chosen.

Chorong unnie’s expression mouthed something to me I didn’t read. My eyes were more on the crowd who were watching and waving their signs and lights in the mass of bright circles. Taemin sang his part and I saw him wave to the crowd. It was as if he didn’t even see anyone behind him. That was good.

“Well,” Eunji unnie began as we went to our room to get changed “looks as though we may as well joke we’re no longer friends with SHINee on broadcast, only for the sake of our Naeun here.”

I would have laughed if I was still not fighting off the virus that had struck me bedridden. I got changed first into my dark jeans and a large mahogany sweater with a white pocket. My footwear was some black slip on shoes. Going through my bag I realised something was missing.

“My phone isn’t here.”

“Unnie did you lose it?”

I denied it. “It’s probably in our van; I’ll go ahead and get it since I’m already changed.”
 

“Alright we’ll see you soon.”

Opening the door just a crack I slowly came out of our room and walked down the hall to where the vehicle would be parked in the bottom car park. To my surprise and slight suspicion I found that it wasn’t locked.

“That’s strange,” I murmured to myself as I slid the door open and climbed in. Reaching under the seat I jumped when the door closed with a slight noise. That was weird at the time; usually the only way to shut them was by someone pushing them.

Getting up and stretching over I tried to open it. The door stayed shut, it couldn’t have been locked! What was going on?

“What’s going on somebody open the door!”

“Not until I’m finished.” Where did his voice come from? Peering around I couldn’t see any trace of him until his determined gaze from the rear view mirror made me jump. He started the engine and the car began to move.

I fell back against the seat and bumped my head against the window. “Taemin what are you doing?!”

“Kidnapping you,” he said. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Either way we were moving somewhere, leaving the car park and going down the main road. I put my seatbelt on, not knowing whether to call for help or the police, I was glad he didn’t know I had my phone with me. Otherwise he could have tried to take it off me.

Ω

When the car slowed to a stop I shifted forward to the window. It was a large blank area of tarmac with white lines almost creating boxes except for one line missing in each. A wall made of brick had red, yellow, blue and other colours sprayed into its concrete face.

Instinctively my hand went for the door but there was no opening it yet. Taemin turned around in his seat. Surprisingly he was still in the trousers and shirt he had on before, the only difference being a khaki coat with a hood over the top.

“Naeun,” he began with a low voice. “I want you to listen… But not like this.” There was a noise as the locks were switched off. I just watched him, trying to read his face which was hard under the mass of dark red hair, only a few shades deeper than a colour I had remembered seeing him with.

“You can leave if you wish. We are not far away from the venue. But if you want to listen to me then stay.” Even though I did not feel comfortable with him at the moment, I also wanted to hear his explanation since it would be the last time I would really converse with him.

He rolled the sleeves up on his shirt. “Me and her… We dated for only a few weeks. It was at that time I found out what she is like.” The way he exhaled made me think it had not been good. “She likes to date guys who are younger than her and will spend time with several without them all realising. The reason is because each one of them is famous.”

What

S-she was using him?

“I found out that she had tried to get Sehun’s number but he had refused. A member from DSP’s newest group was duped by her until the leader confronted her. At the time she had been seeing Sungjae from BTOB.” I saw his expression change from anger to pain; like a candle whose flame was about to burn out.
“The reason is she wants to be famous. She wants to model and thinks we were her best way.”

I didn’t know what to say. In fact I had been quiet the whole time. It was at this time I spoke up. “So, what does that have to do with the fact you lied about having not dated from the time we were together until five years later?”

“I lied because I didn’t want you to know about her; also because it wasn’t meant to be. I got fooled by a pretty face and a sweet voice but that isn’t just why. Naeun… Ever since I met you I have never moved on!”

Sitting back against my seat I found myself completely confused. How was he able to treat me so coldly one moment and then tell me he had feelings for me all the time? Sooner or later I would let my heart open again and then… And then it would be no good.

“Taemin,” I cut in just as he was about to speak. “I’ve heard enough.” His face fell and I felt bad. “Thank you, I’m glad that you told me the truth—but this is the last time we’ll speak. Bye, Taemin.”

Sliding the door open with one hand and gripping my phone in the other I climbed out into the crisp cool air. In the dark I began to slowly walk to the other end of the large car park, getting my phone out to call my manager. In my mind I memorised a conversation I could weave into natural discussion with him so he wouldn’t call the authorities on him.

As I got closer to the nearest road which looked to be on a quiet street I heard the sound of a bang. I guessed he had decided to give up the car so he wouldn’t get into trouble. What I didn’t guess was that he would run after me; it was the pace and the rhythm of the steps which was fast and heavy.

I had almost reached the street when his hand pressed down on my shoulder like a stop button. Turning my head I saw him, out of breath, some of the hair on his forehead sticking. His gaze was something I had never felt. It struck my insides with a warmth and intensity that was confusing but made me compelled to stand and stare back up at his eyes, eyes I had once so shyly averted my own away from.

His hands were on my shoulders and I saw him standing in front of me. I couldn’t breathe; I didn’t know why everything was slowing down around me like a broken hourglass. The grains had become stuck in the small gap causing time to stop.

He eyed me more closely, the gaze keeping me tightly captured. Swallowing he appeared to take in something relating to my face. And then, and then…

I heard nothing but a very steady thud inside my chest as his head lowered down towards mine. This was nothing from a drama scene or a music video. This was nothing that would be filmed on camera. There was no director calling cut. Why was I so scared? What was I afraid of?

Before I could free myself or call out to him to stop I felt his lips pressing against mine.

Ω

To be honest I struggled to write this last part so if it feels awkward or confusing then I can understand. Overall did you like it?