(OST- Be Good to You by Se7en)

Clinging to my stool I couldn’t budge. Like I fool I sat, as if my bottom was glued down until someone came in asking if they could use the room. That was when I had to shift myself up and away.

Naeun, how much hate would you receive because of me?

How much more pain would my mention bring you?

Unsure of how to take the news I ended up closing my eyes and bowing my head as I waited for my manager to come and pick me up in my car.

“What now Lord?”

The sky was dark and clouded, like my mind. It loomed over blocking out any light that possibly could have been the morning sun. And it also was silent, silent like the Lord seemed to be at the moment.

Trust in me.

I didn’t know if that was my thoughts or God because my lift arrived and I had to leave it be for a bit. I would ask again later.

My solo comeback was close and rehearsals were growing longer and more strenuous. I couldn’t afford to make mistakes. I couldn’t afford to miss the timing or hit the wrong note. For the sake of the people who believed in me and the fans I had to be absolutely, definitely…

Perfect.

If only I could be.

Ω
 

On the day of my comeback I had a showcase in which Jongin was the MC. Having him close by as I prepared to perform in front of the fans for the first time in two months had to be the greatest relief.

“You seem really stressed,” he commented as I received a shoulder massage from him. We were preparing to head on stage. “Have you actually slept much this past few months?”

“Not since Christmas,” I said and to this he sighed.

“So it’s the beginning of January and you have managed to become this crazy insomniac performer. I guess being a veteran idol does this to you.”

I blinked as something was remembered. “Your birthday is in two days. I completely forgot and I—“

“—don’t worry,” he said pressing a little harder in one spot. “Kwonho hyung and the others will probably plan something. Just focus on your comeback.”

I didn’t know what I did to deserve such a friend like him. I would do my best and show him a great performance on his birthday. The show case went rather well as I performed ‘Too Friendly’ which was a dance song mixed with the influence of rock thanks to the electric guitar and the strong drum roll.

“So Taemin,” Jongin said as we sat down for our discussion. “Rumour is that we’ll be seeing you sing a ballad for this next comeback am I right?”

There were cheers from happy fans. I lifted the microphone up, “Yes… You could say that.”

“Can you tell us what the title is?”

“It’s called ‘Grace,” And they gave me applause.

“Sing for us, sing for us!”

And so I did. It was only part of the first verse but they still enjoyed it. Jongin told me that it sounded like a nice song and I said I hoped it would be.

I wouldn’t reveal the whole thing until my first music show performance.
 

Ω
 

I was day two into my comeback and already performing for a concert. It was something Lotte had organised and a lot of the top groups would be doing a number or two as well.

It was now just under two months since Naeun had expressed that sudden confession and one day after Jongin’s birthday. My hair was chocolate brown, a colour I hadn’t done in a while and felt peculiar. It suited my new concept which was more serious and nostalgic if that was the best way to describe it.

There were cheers as the group finished performing. I had been getting my microphone check so I didn’t know who it was until the song came to an end.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It was her group.

She was here.

There were cheers as Apink ended and then another sound, a sound that I had heard before in the past.
“Apink you !”

“You are lousy idols!”

Where did that come from? I felt my heart sink. It had been more than a week since why were people still reacting to it? I took a deep breath and walked towards the direction of back stage. I couldn’t even look at them as they went the other way. I knew that I was responsible to the hurt.

My mood had dropped and I didn’t feel like going back on stage to perform the ballad. As I tried to cheer up there was a knock as the door opened to two familiar faces.

“What are you two doing here?”

Kibum hyung made a smirk that could be easily misinterpreted as he handed me a health drink. “Came to support our youngster you idiot.”

Minho hyung looked smart in his purple sweater, white shirt and black jeans as he came in with a large box. “Since it’s your comeback we got you something.”

Opening the lid I saw a rather large cake. It was white my favourite colour with a figurine looking like me sitting on the top with a hat in my hand. The name of my title song ran around the side in black icing.

“Wait a minute…

 I knew that handiwork better than anyone else; the thick icing, the similar likeness from the shade of my clothes on the figurine to his brown hair. “You didn’t get me this…”

“He’s onto us,” Minho hyung pretended to be shocked before adding. “That’s right one of your fans made it for you so we’re just delivering it.”

He proceeded to place some candles on it while Kibum hyung got out his phone. “Look at the camera and wave. They want to know it’s really you.”

“Where are you posting it?” I asked as Minho hyung lit the candles.

“It’s going on Instagram.”

They counted and then I blew them out. “Well done,” they encouraged as I managed to get them all out at once.

The door opened as someone with a headset summoned me. “Lee Taemin you’re on in five for ‘Grace.’”

They both looked at me with their fists clenched over their chins as if I was an adorable baby or puppy. “Are you ready?”

I breathed out nervously, “I hope so. It’s the first time I’m performing it.”

Minho hyung patted me on the back. “You’ll survive.”

“Otherwise we’ll save the day.”

Trust them to make jokes at a time like this. I just smiled the best I could and left the room. The last I saw was them sitting in the chairs to watch the screen in the ceiling.

Ω

Thud, thud, thud was the beat of my heart as I prepared to walk out on stage. I had on a white dress shirt, black pants and a dark red vest with a pocket watch hanging from the hole. Slowly going to the centre where a black grand piano stood in the middle I observed the string ensemble and the other band members surrounding the large instrument, all of them dressed in black as well.

The back drop was a large screen which had any object projected onto it with choice. It was a large starry array. As I sat down on the stool which had me positioned towards the audience I took another slow breath as the lights darkened for a moment.

My fingers touched the ivories as the spotlight came on me and I began playing the first four bars of the song. I did not feel ready to begin but I knew I had no choice. Feeling like my jaw was made of metal and rusting I opened my mouth to let out the start of the first verse.

“You walked in like a ray of sun. It melted my winter garden and made roses grow.”

The swell of the music was so strong I began to feel my heart aching. It made me think of her more as I kept on singing.

“Before I knew it I had let you in without an invitation. Your smile was the key to my heart.”

I never had felt myself so moved to a song as I was right now. I could picture her in my mind as it came to the chorus.

“You loved a foolish me, you loved a childish me. The kind of person you are is hard to find. Still I teased you, still I hurt you, yet you still held onto me.”

 Two minutes of the song passed and it soon came to the bridge. I couldn’t see the keys or the sheet music well from the blur in my eyes. The seriousness of the music and the sound of the lyrics were causing me to go to pieces.

“If I hadn’t been a child, maybe acted more like a man you would have stayed. It would have been better than you hating me. But even you… You still forgave.”

The pause was not intentional. I saw the drops hit the keys and I couldn’t stop to wipe away anymore that plummeted down. It had to be the first time that I had let such emotion come over me. I was breaking down on television during a song.

“I had been saved by you. I was given grace.”

The song came to an end and I played the final bars as the instruments came to the closing. As we stopped everyone cheered and I was glad for the lights being switched off as I ran off the stage, past the confused staff waiting in the wings, past the startled group waiting to walk on next.

Closing the door before the staff came in I grabbed my hair and pulled at it in anguish. I heard voices in the background before I was pulled aside by someone. Kibum hyung had spoken in a rather stern tone.

“What’s going on?” Minho hyung asked me. I breathed out slowly and then glanced at them both. They stared at me in alarm.

“Lee Taemin…” Kibum hyung began a little off guard from seeing me. I had wet cheeks and red eyes; it was a wonder the eyeliner was still intact. He paused, lost for words.

Minho hyung seemed concerned. “What is wrong? This is the first time we’ve seen you like this; while singing a song of all things.”

I was afraid to speak; my voice would not come out clear. When I did it was choked and nasal. “I… I don’t know.”

Kibum hyung glanced at Minho while I was dabbing my eyes with a tissue. He whispered something I couldn’t hear. The other paused to think it over.

“Eun… Oh, of course,” Minho hyung then appeared to look at me sympathetically, eyebrows in a line except for the ends which were starting to rise. “The song’s about her isn’t it?”

I had to bow my head, bitter tears were falling again.

Ω

 

A sad chapter from Naeun and now from Taemin, it feels weird writing about him crying since… Well he doesn’t seem to cry much in real life (he nearly did on We Got Married) and he sure did when SHINee won Artist of the Year. Ah I bet you Shawols were so thrilled for them.

I’m no musician so there are no complete lyrics to the song except for the ones I mentioned. Feel free to create your own it would be interesting to see how you do so.