(OST Love Diary by Noblesse)

There’s a saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder. It did but it also made mine ache more.

If I saw him on screen I missed him. If I saw photographs of his travels from Korea to Japan or wherever then I missed him. If anyone else talked about him, even if the person coincidentally had a similar name then I missed him.

The members understood my anguish and helped me forget how much I missed him by trying to keep me occupied as much as possible until he contacted or I had to call him first.

It was always about patience. “He’s not picking up,” I said after calling him and having no response. I dialled again and got the same, ‘the person you have dialled could not be reached’ voice.

“Relax unnie,” Namjoo said coming past for her microphone. “I’m sure he’s just busy or sleeping.”

Eunji came and patted me on the back. “Ah, this love is hard isn’t it? You’ve had no contact with him for… How long was it?”

“It’s been eleven months so far.”

Chorong unnie called us all together for a meeting. “We’re going to give it our all alright? For those who supported us all these years.”

“The fans,” we agreed together before leaving to sing Mr Chu for the fans.

It was our final stage as a group. Time had started to separate us from each other as well as our dreams and ambitions. While Eunji, Bomi and Namjoo would still focus on singing while Chorong and Hayoung would focus on other areas of works such as acting. Hayoung had decided to return to normal life and focus on study while Chorong was to act and I would do the same while dabbling in the occasional modelling job.

As our concert started to come to a close we had another speaking session. “Well, we’re almost finished.” Eunji said to the crowd. There were screams of ‘no’ from the fans.

“We still have one more song to sing,” Hayoung added. This was the point that everyone started to tear up.

Bomi held back hers as she spoke. “We really want to thank all of you for these years. We never thought we would make it here today. Thank you…” She wasn’t able to hold them back anymore.

“We’re so thankful to our friends as well,” Eunji added who was doing her best to remain strong.

“Our parents as well,” Namjoo was crying. “Who watched their children whether it is back stage or in the audience you’ve always given us love.”

Everyone was chanting, “do not cry,” to us. While Namjoo and Bomi were crying Eunji with her eyes red said to me, “Naeun… Is there anything you want to say?”

I had tears running down my cheeks but I said to the blur of people, “I love you.” Even though he said he wouldn’t be there, it felt as though he was.
 

Ω

 

A week later the company gave me a call to tell me that I had been given a fashion shoot for Cosmopolitan. It was going to have a warm Hispanic feel and for that I would be leaving Korea for a few days.

“Do you know where the photo shoot is being held?” I shook my held.

“It will be in Spain,” I almost fell out of my chair and my manager laughed. “Don’t be too disappointed,” he joked. “But it will only be for a few days so enjoy it while you can.”

I understood the implication of what he said, “Wait… Y-you aren’t coming with me?”
 

He nodded, “You’ll have a guide and a translator with you so you won’t be out there by yourself. You’ll be leaving at the end of September.”

I couldn’t believe it. I would be going to Spain, the place that Taemin and I had wanted to visit for a long time.

If only he was coming with me.

“Do well in your promotions,” our president assured me as we were about to leave. “And enjoy Spain.”

“Thank you sir,” I bowed to him and left in a happy but also anxious state.

We were meant to maybe one day meet in Spain. Would that even happen?

Saeun was ecstatic for me when she found out. We had just eaten with mum and dad and she was helping me clean in the kitchen. “That’s really awesome unnie. I’m so jealous for you.” She then paused to pass me a cup. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell who?” I asked, still in a bit of a daze.

“Your boyfriend,” she said smiling away and then winking. “Wouldn’t he be envious too?”

I wondered if he would. However we weren’t allowed to share anything to do with Spain due to the pact we had made. Saeun was waiting for my response and I just shrugged. She looked at me with suspicion.

“Things are alright between you two?”

“I suppose.”

“Unnie,” she was onto me. “What is going on? How come you don’t talk about him as much or even tell me about your last date? Have you two split up?”

I denied that we had split up. “No but ever since those articles came out… I’m being more careful. We are being more careful that is.”

She sighed. “Does that mean you aren’t seeing each other and could break up?”

“Don’t put the words in my mouth.”

But what if she was right? What if we didn’t see each other soon and any feelings we had for each other faded before then? What if he forgot about me after all?

Ω

 

Sitting on the plane I clasped my hands together in my lap as I waited for our flight to take off. Dressed in jeans that stopped at my ankles, white oxfords and a loose black shirt I wondered if I would be too hot. It was too late to change.

I fell asleep during the flight and drifted in and out of dreams, some more terrifying than the others. One dream had me getting eaten by something in the sea. Another I saw oppa dancing with a Spanish lady and then suddenly say to me, “We’re going, bye.”

As a result of such dreams I made myself stay awake. We arrived in Spain in the evening so there weren’t a lot of people at the airport. Some people recognised me but otherwise I had low profile and used it to my advantage.

At the hotel I went straight to bed and tried hard not to think about Taemin oppa or about my feelings. I loved him, I really did. But I also needed him and I wasn’t sure if he still needed me too. And I hadn’t been able to reach him to find out.

The photo shoot went smoothly for the first day and the second day had me going to the seaside to pose in swimsuits. It didn’t feel right showing so much skin in front of the camera but the photographer and the other staff were in awe of my appearance that I plastered on a face which said ‘I don’t care’ while deep inside I felt, ‘please look away.’

I tried to call him while I was in the hotel but the charges were too high so I borrowed my stylist’s phone to call my parents. They wished me well and I said how much I missed them. With that I went to bed. We would be getting up early to travel to Barcelona.

On the way to the place I didn’t understand why we were going through countryside. We then pulled up in front of a house with thousands of tall, yellow flowers with rich seeds in the middle. It was a private property and the owner happened to grow hectares of sunflower seeds.

“Over here Naeun,” I came out of the changing area in a loose dress with my hair down except for a braid that round around my head. The director for the shoot pointed me to the fields where he wanted me standing amongst the tall giants. I pretended to be walking somewhere and then had to crouch down and trace in the dirt.

“Excellent,” the photographer gave the all clear. “We’re going to finish up Naeun. Get ready to leave in fifteen.”

Standing up and brushing my knees I peered around where I was. It was a beautiful place. The only building close by was a white cabin where the owner lived, a mountain in the back drop. The sun was starting to disappear and the sky was a warm red. This scene was missing one thing in particular.

Sighing and wondering whether I was hoping for something that was never going to come I started to make my way back towards the rest of the crew.

“Naeun,” I found myself freezing. The voice was still a long way off but I recognised it. I knew that caller even from the level of volume I heard it from. It was coming back from behind where we had been. Spinning around to see if I was right I faced the caller.

I let out a gasp and my eyes started to brim.

No way.

No way was this happening!

Ω

 What is happening? Find out soon guys!