(OST- Be Alright by Justin Beiber)

The moment the company rang with the news I felt as though my world had come crashing down. The news stations had blown up. Friends from work were calling me in a rush, demanding to know what was happening and the company even called.

“Son Naeun,” the mood was serious. “This is a big problem. Did you know about the photographs?”

I denied knowing anything about it. “I had no idea sir honestly.” But that wouldn’t be the end of it.

“SM Entertainment has contacted us regarding our position. We are not sure whether we will confirm or deny—“

“—Please don’t,” I stopped after realising how rushed I was sounding. Did I want my reputation to possibly be tarnished by confirming? Or was I ready to make a terrible mistake and deny everything?

He… Would he even forgive me if I did?

They continued to speak. “Since SM Entertainment has more power than we do we’ve decided we’ll follow with whatever they decide. A representative will reveal the verdict to the public this afternoon.”

Why had they even bothered to ask me for my opinion in the first place?

My calm expression was starting to fade. The implications of the news becoming true would come to pass in less than twenty four hours. As the phone call came to an end I buried my face in my hands.

God why did this have to happen?

Sitting on the edge of the chair I almost didn’t notice my own phone ringing away. When I saw the caller ID I knew that the conversation would be a hard one to discuss.

“Hello oppa,” I said weakly.

“Naeun are you free?” He sounded just as shaken. It made me ache to hear him struggling. I wonder how the response had been from his end.

“I have a schedule that ends at eleven tonight. Could we meet after that?” I knew I had to jump to the chase.

“That is fine, I know a place we can meet in I’ll call you later.”

I wondered if he had any schedules to attend or if they had been cancelled. Checking the time I gathered my things together to head off to mine.

Ω
 

The moment I sat down on the couch for the filming I felt the atmosphere in the room change. The MC’s greeted us after we arrived while the audience started to settle. In the corner of my eye I saw people glaring back at me.

Bomi unnie whispered in my ear to pay no attention to them but that was easier said than done. How could I just ignore them when I felt like their looks would knives into me?

The MC’s managed to go through with the show until, “Son Naeun-sshi how do you feel about those idols who debut at such a young age?”

Before I could even speak there was a sound of jeering from one corner and the MC’s made rather fake smiles at me, hoping it would end soon.

“Naeun wouldn’t know but her boyfriend does. He debuted at the age of sixteen!”

“She was eighteen when Apink came to light.”

The MC’s had to interrupt and continue on with the next question. Eunji’s unnie’s gaze was not a pleasant one and I felt myself sticking to the leather couch. The show had to go on regardless of what anyone said or did.

But the comments kept coming and every time they did the filming had to be postponed until the director decided enough was enough.

“Stop, we’ll quit filming for today.” He decided and then the staff started to the audience out of the building.

The MC’s stood up and went to their rooms; we bowed to them in apology. As soon as we went into our waiting rooms to get changed there was serious sparks flying, not the sweet lovely kind.

“Unnie you really did it this time!” Hayoung exclaimed as I was getting changed out of my dress. “How could you get caught; how could you let yourself be seen!?”
Eunji stepped in between us. “Do you think she planned this?!” Her voice was raised and I couldn’t believe how angry she appeared. “Is she really that stupid Oh Hayoung?!”

“Then let’s film the show without her!”

Chorong unnie cut in between the pair with a very loud, “enough.” Hayoung backed down along with Eunji. “This is shameful. I’m so disappointed in you both. We’re meant to be working together; not against!”

The cat had stolen their tongues and their pride. Unable to look at them I felt my eyes starting to over flow. Our leader’s harsh words had fulfilled their task and the argument had died down. As Eunji and Hayoung moved away our leader placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Naeun, I know how much you like him… But please talk to him… The CEO doesn’t know what to do. Please help.”

I nodded biting my lip and holding back my tears. She was right; the group could not suffer because of me. When we would meet we would have to decide whether we would risk the hate, or suffer isolation.
 

Ω
 

On the top of the MBC in the dark I had to be careful where I stood for there were lights but not many of them. The hedges were still trimmed, the pathways clear and sitting at the same table as we had once before was him.

The stress of the situation was evident on his face. I knew that he would also be tired from trying to keep busy; his company would want him to be active for as long as possible.

“Naeun,” he said relieved to see me, making a smile that came and went from exhaustion. He stood and I held my hand out, telling him he didn’t have to push the chair out for me. Sitting down and straightening my back I exhaled.

Holding my hands in my lap I watched him start to speak. “Sorry if it is late,” I shook my head.

“I should apologise for only being able to come now. It’s been three days since the incident yet—“

Taemin ran a hand over his hair. “I don’t know what to do… I honestly feel as though I’m being pushed by my company to deny everything.”

“We’re going to follow suit with yours,” I answered him. “But whatever that is…” We were both quiet, the situation had ruined the happy mood we could have had.

“Naeun…” He seemed to struggle. “I don’t know what to say to them. They love me too much and because of that love I can’t tell them… Tell them my heart doesn’t belong to me in that way. I’ll always cherish their support but accepting love in a romantic manner.” He looked at me desperately. “I’m afraid for you Naeun. Afraid of what they will say to you.”

I felt so bad for him. He had never had to deal with such a situation before. Jonghyun was different. They’d revealed his relationship with Sekyung but it hadn’t lasted. Oppa hadn’t told me all the details, but their fans had a lot do with them breaking up.

“My fans, they haven’t exactly been lenient on yours either.”

A lot of the rumours around the place had been that the Pandas had bought SHINee’s albums in bulk only to chop them up or burn them. Then there were some of them jumping on his fan café to give him discredit and to tarnish his name.

He reached over the table to me and I slowly slipped out a hand and he held it. “I love you Naeun; but I don’t want to lose my fans either. You know how that feels right?”

I nodded more than aware of the anguish he was going through with his head and heart battling to find a conclusion. For I had been feeling the same too; do I keep the people that supported me happy or do I sacrifice their possessive feelings towards me for the man I love?

Wanting to speak I had one idea in my head. I didn’t like it. I wanted to discard the plan almost immediately but he’d seen my expression flicker like a candle almost going out. Looking at the black curving lines on the table I spoke.

“I love you oppa and I’ve been thinking; how about… How about we stop seeing each other?” Before he could start to speak I hastily added, “I do not mean as in ‘break up’. We just don’t meet face to face anymore and only talk on the phone.”

I had managed to ease some of the worry but he still appeared troubled. “Naeun,” his voice was softer as he brushed the back of my hand with his thumb. “I need your touch… If I don’t have you to hold in my arms … I need your hugs to stay alive.”

The ending made me smirk at how cheesy it was. “We can meet again; in the not so far future hopefully—“

“In Spain,” we both suddenly chorused together. We giggled together; the merry noise eased some of our hurt. “We don’t have to tell the other when we’re going,” he suggested playing along with the flow. “Maybe as fate had brought us together in the first place… It will bring us together for good one last time.”

“Mmm,” and I had to stop for a lump was rising in my throat. This would be the last time for a while that we would be seeing each our other half face to face.

Even though he still seemed to struggle with the idea oppa still agreed. “Alright, we’ll do that. Keep calling and texting but that’s it.”

I nodded not being able to talk. He pulled my chair over to him and wrapped his arms around me at the side. I leaned my head against his chest letting my hair cover my face. I felt his chin lean on my head and I breathed in, taking a whiff of his cologne.

It had been my idea but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted him with me. I wanted to be with him. As we sat there in the cold, the dark and the light of the orb lamps around the area I felt my man’s delicate touch as his lips brushed against my scalp. Closing my eyes, I let my tears silently fall.

Taemin, please…

Do not forget me.

Ω

How are the feels at the moment? I would like to thank all 135 of you for your support during this story. Normally I strongly dislike Justin Beiber but this song seemed really fitting for this chapter.