The clock ticked loudly in synch with my heartbeat. Clenching my hands together tightly I felt my jacket shrinking over my chest. Breathing in and out slowly I shut my eyes and prayed. Prayed for everything to run smoothly and I wouldn’t have to do many takes.

Please Lord

“Taemin,” I opened my eyes as the stage director knocked on the door. “You’re on in ten minutes.”

I nodded and he left. Standing up I walked over to the large mirror where the makeup artist wanted to do one final touch up. The reflection of me was not one I recognised.

How I have changed so much these past years.

I was the same height, not the tallest in the group but taller than Jonghyun hyung. My hair was dark with a dark blue stripe in it, a few shades darker than my navy jacket with the large buttons doing it up. It reminded me of our ‘Everybody’ days which had us in the red jackets like soldiers.

My concept was slightly different. ‘My’ sounds so weird still. Was it really five years since we performed that song?

Focus Taemin. You’re not in a group at the moment. You are on your own.

Exhaling I peered down the rest of my outfit. It was all black, something I wasn’t that interested in. I preferred white. It reminded me of someone I knew that liked black. And then I remembered.

“Ok I’m good.” I came out of the dressing rooms with the other four back up dancers who were accompanying me, all dressed in black from head to toe. I knew their names but whether I knew them personally or not would be different.

We were led onto the stage. I could see the audience cheering the moment I came into their sight. The pearl blue banners with my name or our group’s name waving about as well as handmade posters that had ‘Midnight’ on them, my title song.

I gave a small bob in greeting before getting into position. The lights dimmed the cameras ready to focus. The speakers crackled into life and then the music started. It seemed too loud, how would I be able to know when I needed to move my mouth to it?

Yes SM Entertainment artists do lip synch at times. Because it was the first week of my debut I was doing it for those three performances and then live for the rest. Despite this being performance number one I began to feel nerves for how the rest would come. I had no other singers except for Minho who was the rapper in one of the other songs in the EP.   

We had to redo because my microphone set was not working properly. When I was finished I thanked the staff and gave a wave to my fans who were screaming at me regardless of how well I did or didn’t do. I couldn’t wait until I finished promoting which would be in two weeks.

 

Ω

He was comfortably sitting in the café with his beverage when I finally entered. “Hyung you look exhausted. Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?”

I dropped my phone on the table and sank into my seat with a long breath. “I’ll sleep when I get home. I don’t have long to spare. I have to practice in about forty five minutes.”

“Understood I have to go soon anyway. We fly to Japan tomorrow morning.”

I let out a yawn. Now I remembered that he was going. I wouldn’t be seeing my best friend for at least a month. “Ah Jongin are you going to be alright without me around?”

“Eh I’ll be fine,” he assured me before I could grab his chin like I was a father. “What about you? Won’t you be bored without me to tease?”

“I have the other hyungs.” Now I had to think of them. “Kyuhyun hyung, Minho hyung when we perform ‘Walk Away’, Yunho hyung…”

I saw his face change. “What? What is that face for?”

“Well, you know that rookie actress who joined our company last month…?”

Oh boy I knew where this was going. He waited for me to get my drink and come back. “Well she is actually really pretty I saw her the other day. Pretty but shy and so I was wondering if maybe you wanted me to…”

“Jongin, are you saying you want to set me up with her?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Yes hyung, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?”

I thought back and counted in a low voice. “That was, three years ago?” I saw him nod, his gaze showing he was going to add his own ‘but’ to it.
“Hyung you dated her for three weeks until you found out she was using you.”

“I thought we agreed not to talk about it!” I hissed. He shut his mouth, realising his mistake. However I couldn’t be angry for long. I didn’t sulk as much as I used to. Taking a long swig of my hot chocolate Jongin tried to persuade me further.

“Think about it hyung; she’s only three years younger than you. She is talented in playing the violin and speaks Cantonese as well as Mandarin.”

This did nothing to sway me into agreeing. “Thank you for the concern about my apparently ‘dead’ love life,” I heard my phone buzz which I ignored. “I don’t need a girlfriend. I’ll find one when I’m ready.”

“Hmm,” it doesn’t look as though he believed me. “You aren’t over her are you?” That had come out of the blue.

What brought that up?

“I know you hyung. I know that you haven’t been the same since your time ended and you have had interest which you do nothing about. When are you going to let go and move on?”

Shaking my head I firmly denied this. “I don’t need to let go. Because I am not holding onto her, her memory or anything from that time; from those five years ago. I am not holding onto anything.”

I stood up from my seat. If I didn’t leave now I would be late. Running to the bin I chucked it in and waved to Jongin.
“You know Taemin,” he started to say before I was out of ear shot. “You’re a good liar.”

Am I?  I thought of this as I was walking down to the car. I guess I should have figured. I had to lie in the past. When I found out I was on We Got Married I could not tell anyone. Not a single soul…
 

Ω

“Taemin your phone was ringing!” We came into our dressing room and spread out. Jonghyun and Key hyung both sat on the couch, getting out their phones. Onew hyung found a comfortable position to sleep and Minho hyung found some food to eat.

As I was having a break Minoh hyung handed me my phone which had a missed call. It was from headquarters. I felt someone’s head leaning over my shoulder to read my screen.

“Why are they contacting you Taemin-ah?”

Jonghyun had a pointy chin so I stepped out of his reach. “Let me find out.” I said hurrying off, pressing my phone to call them back. “Hello sir, sorry I was just performing.”

“Taemin-ssi, MBC’s Producer for We Got Married called. They would like a word with you.”

“Their Producer wants to speak with me?” I asked earnestly. “What about sir?”

“Yes, Sunhwa-sshi and Kwanghee-sshi are leaving soon and they need another couple. They were wondering if you would be interested in being on. The other members don’t know that they rang.”

I sat down in the bathroom, just leaving the door open. This was all too weird. They wanted me on the show? Was it because I had expressed interest in being on there in the past?

“Um, what would I have to do?”

“If you’re interested Taemin-ah,” I paused as someone entered the bathrooms and closed the door. They paid no interest in me. However I didn’t want to talk until they had left. When the coast was clear I began to agree to the details so they knew I was listening.

“Ok I understand sir, bye.” At that moment one of my members just happened to come in. The moment Key saw me he hurried over.

“Yah what are you doing?! We have to go on stage soon so they can announce the winner! What are you doing in here?”

I held up my phone so he knew I wasn’t being weird. “I just had to make a call.”

“In here Taemin; that’s dirty,” Key said smirking and then grabbing me by the arm to pull me out. “Who were you calling then and why?”

“It wasn’t a big deal, no one in particular…”

“—uh huh I doubt that’s true Taemin. Either way I’ll find out sooner or later.”  I shook my head in amusement as he took me to where the rest of the members were at the front of stage. Nobody seemed to notice we were almost late. We came in first place and all had a go at saying our thanks to the staff and our fans.

Everyone was falling asleep on the way home. I was awake, my mind spinning as I thought about the opportunity I was presented. Would it be foolish to let go? As weird as it may sound, I haven’t had a first love before; maybe on the show it could happen.

Inside everyone went to the living room to watch television I quickly went into the room I normally slept in when I was staying there and dialled the number. The Producer picked up, her voice chirpy when she spoke to me.

“Ah Taemin-ssi so you received our offer?”

“Yes thank you,” I told her. “But I don’t think I can do it. I haven’t dated since primary school and so I won’t know what I’m supposed to be doing or saying to make it interesting—“

“—we can work on that.” She sounded so confident. “If you would like you can come into the studio where we film the Black Room Interviews and we’ll discuss it more there.”

“Really, you think I can do it?”

“Yes Taemin,” she agreed. “We have yet to confirm the last couple but we know of a few candidates that could be your wife if you join the show. Anyway you’ll find out if you agree.”

My heart was feeling really weird. It was as if I already had a premonition to what my answer would be. If I said yes I had to enjoy my time on there. Who knew who I would meet through this experience?

“Alright,” I said with my heart on my sleeve. “I’ll come and see what I have to do. Please let me know what time you would like me there and when.”  

Ω

Hello I hope you all haven’t been waiting too long. Enjoy the journey these two will make together.