Love is never been easy,

but then heart and future are involved

Yuri gripped the edge of her desk with so much force her hands went numb. Her back was to the door where Yunho stood silently, probably to regain his composure. One angry tear rolled down her pale cheek, she wiped it briskly. She didn’t have any strength to turn and faced him. “Off you go.” She said through her clenched teeth.

“I’m so sorry.” Weakly, Yunho apologized even though he knew it was far too late.

“Don’t. It’s my fault too. I’m so stupid to believe that you will fight for me.” The back of her eyes stung with more angry tears. Yuri swallowed hardly. She didn’t want to break in front of him.

“Yuri,” He pleaded. “Look at me.”

“Leave. Now!” The tip of her fingers went white against the dark wood. The pain supposed to be a good distraction, but it failed to reduce the pain in her heart. She could feel his eyes burning hole on her back.

But he didn’t budge an inch. “You know this is hard for me. The last thing I want to do is hurting you.”

She closed her eyes in agony. “Congratulation, you just did Yunho.” The name left bittersweet taste on her tongue. “Damn it! What does it take to make you leave?!”

Then she heard the door click open and she could feel his presence gone. She finally succumbed into misery and let the tears wipe it away, sadly, it couldn’t. It was just hurt her even more. Yuri slumped to the floor and forgot about the world around her as she wept into oblivion.

In love with a man who happened to be her half-brother was not easy. Her parents took him into their house when he was 15 and regard him as their son. She and her younger sister, Yoona, had peeked curiously at his room when he unloaded his clothes to his new room. She was only 12 at the time and Yoona was 9. Yuri, being the elder, took the responsibility to make introduction. She knocked the door and startled the boy with her sheepish grin. Yoona behind her, clutched at her shirt tightly as she eyeing the new member of the family. Not that Yunho was legally part of family, but what the Kwon family and him had had was more than law bound.

Only, he made mistake. Not that he wanted to. He had begged to God to take away his feeling. It was okay for him to numb. But each years passed, it grew stronger it forced him to move away. He decided to enter college hundred miles away from home so that he could avoid Yuri. Unfortunately, distance didn’t reduce his love and salve his longing for her.  He had utterly fallen for her.

What ironic was, the feeling was mutual. Yuri would anticipate holiday when he would go home to spent time with the family. The three of them would play various games while she and Yunho would steal glances at each other. When midnight came, she and Yunho would sit at rooftop simply staring at stars, and absorbing each other presence to feed their insatiable yearning. Then, when it came for him to go back to school, she would smile her beautiful smile at him from the porch before sob in her room all day for another killing separation. Sometime, there was a time when they felt helpless at the temptation. They would declare their love for each other. But when reality came back, they would pretend nothing had happened between them. It was much safe that way.

Gradually, Yuri felt tired. She had wanted him for years, but he had carefully drawing line between them recently. It had been 12 years, and the love slowly killing her. She didn’t want hide it any longer and urged him to tell their parents. As her prediction, he declined for the sake of family or so he said like the past years.

Her phone buzzed in her desk, creating loud thrilling echo in her office room. Yuri startled and looked around. It was night already. She scrambled off the floor, wincing as her strained muscles scream in protest. Yoona. She picked it up.

“Where are you?!” Her sister practically yelled from the other line, worried and irritated lacing her voice.

Yuri cleared her sore throat delicately. “I got carry away with work. I’m in office. I’m sorry.”

“What?! You still working?!” Her sister asked furiously.

“Look, I’ll make it up next time. Say my love for mom and dad.” Yuri was about to end the call when Yoona shouting again.

“Don’t you dare to hang up Kwon Yuri!”

Yuri sighed. Her heart was broken, her muscles were in pain, and her eyes stung with fresh tears. What a perfect day, she smiled mockingly at her self. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

, Yuri thought. If there is one person to know her better than herself, it was her sister. “I’m just tired.” She heard Yoona sigh.

“Can I sleep over tonight?”

“No, sorry. I’m too tired to hear you prattling about your boyfriend.” She was sure Yoona scowling on the other line. “But next week, I’ll be free. So come over, okay?”

Yoona’s cheer made her smile. “I need to go now. I’ll see you next week.”

Feeling too lonely and sick to go home, Yuri decided to go to her friend’s place, Siwon. After she called the man, she swiftly packing her stuff and went out of office with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jesus! What happen to you Yuri?” He hissed when the opened door revealing Yuri. “Get inside now. We will have a long talk tonight. But first, you go to bath.”

Without word, Yuri did what she told. She was so grateful for Siwon's understanding. She came back fresh from bath in his t-shirt and shorts. Abruptly, the conversation she had with Yunho earlier came back to her mind. She began to sob in front of Siwon the moment he sat beside her.

“There, there.” He gathered her close and began her hair. “What’s wrong darling?”

In between her sob, Yuri retold him her fight with Yunho. Siwon continuously swore under his breath. She kept talking for twenty minutes and the moment she pulled away, her tears had soaked the front of his t-shirt.

“Sorry.” She mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” He offered her the vodka which was she took gratefully. “Need me to talk to him? I’ll beat the out of him for making you like this.”

Yuri shook her head vigorously. “Don’t do anything! Promise me you won’t!” At Siwon’s frown, her tears began to leak again. Siwon muttered something before nod. “Thank you.” She took his hand. “Thank you.”

They sat in silent for moment. For Yuri, she had so many thoughts that haunt her. “Siwon, I think I’ll get over him.”

“You think?” He asked skeptically. “You decide this based on what you think?” He snorted.

“I don’t know what else to do. My parents expected me to get married. But Yunho, he . . .” She took a shaky breath. “He has no courage. He is afraid to disappointing mom and dad.”

“Stupid.” Siwon muttered.