The true love comes unexpectedly

I breathe and breathe, trying to soothe and nurture my broken heart. These past months have been so hard. I realize that everything has change and I have no control over it. It feels like fate playing it game on me. I woke up everyday feeling so devastated and empty, like everything is so wrong.

“You still here?” A soothing voice alerts me to reality.

I force my eyes focus on the glass in front of me, aware that pair of eyes watching me intently as if waiting me to break. Slowly, I’m aware of where I have been. The soft gentle sway of music drifts into my ears. I nod my head, unable to trust my voice to answer.

“You were . . . . distracted. Want to share?” His soft voice is calming my nerves.

I breathe deeply before shaking my head. Tentatively, I glance at him and he smiles. I look away quickly, blushing as he caught me stealing glance at him. I take a sip of my drink to cover my blushing cheeks. He chuckles silently.

“What?” I shoot back.

He laughs loudly, clutching his stomach with one hand. “Are you blushing?”

“It’s the alcohol.” I snap, looking straight ahead.

“Okay” He holds his hands in the air. Laughter is still in his eyes as I shift on my stool to face him. “Yul, are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” I force smile on my stiff lips. The laugh is now gone, replace by concern.

“You know you can tell me anything.” He assures. I sigh dramatically, trying to be unaffected by his concern.

“Alright. I just want to make sure that you know I’m always by your side.”

I pat his hand on the counter and smile at him. My smile now is genuine. I know because his eyes lit up and the concern is gone. “Thanks pal.” I mumble.

Then his phone rang aloud. He groans. I raise my eyebrows at his discomfort before breaking my face into heartfelt grin. “Your date?” I mouth as he speaks ‘hello’ to whomever on the other line. He stares annoyingly at me. I keep my self from laughing out loud until he finishes his phone call.

“So?” I prompt. Yunho scowls at me. “Oh come on. Tell me. You know I won’t stop asking.” I shift on my stool so I can get a better look at his face. “Who is this lucky lady?”

“Leave me alone.” He mutters sullenly, playing his glass in his hand.  

“Oh, are you supposed to have a date with her?” I gape. “I’m so sorry Yunho. I didn’t think twice before I called you. I’m so stupid. I think you still have a time to make this out for her. I’m just about to leave –“

“Yul, stop.” His hand covers mine. “You’re babbling.” 

I look up sheepishly. “I know, I’m just so sorry for ruin your night. What kind of friend am I, huh? You go now. I bet she’s waiting for you.” One thing I hate when I panic, I’m babbling like bird. But I don’t care, I truly feel sorry for him. I don’t know how I always ended up needing him in his very important time. ‘Yunho’s dating issue’ is always good news for me. He is a shy man and hard to get close with, but once people know him, they will value the friendship. I glance at him when he remains silent.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

He nods and takes a sip of his drink.

I take control of my panic and breathing steady. “So, how long you’ve been seeing her?”

“Two weeks.” There is an edge in his voice but I ignore it. He won’t just dismiss the issue, not with me.

“What kind of woman she is? Calm and caring? Or cheerful and humble? Come on, don’t save it for yourself.”

He sighs heavily. “I value her friendship and nothing more. We don’t expect more than what we have now.”

I scowl at him. “You’re such a pain in the . You think she will accept that? Don’t be so obtuse before she slips away from you.”

“I try Yul. But I can’t promise it will end well. Just because Siwon married and you just engaged, doesn’t mean you two have the right to force me.”

I wince at his cutting remark. I know he’s right. But Siwon and I just want him to meet someone he truly can trust and settle down. He seems lonely.

“I’m sorry Yul. I don’t mean to be harsh.”

“I know. I guess I’m just excited.” I grin at him. “It’s been so long since you have relationship. And I’m still angry at you about Tiffany.”

Tiffany was everything Siwon and I hoped for Yunho. But one night, Yunho broke up with her. I scolded Yunho for two hours before came to check on her. And I can’t forget the look on her face. She stared at me with hurt, hate and betrayal before she left me without words.

“Oh ! I’m going to late. Changmin must be worried now.” I grab my purse to retrieve the bill but Yunho’s hand stops me.

“I pay. Just go home safely, okay? Call me when you are home.”

I stand, relief that wisely I decided not to get drunk. I throw my arms around him. I notice that he stiffens when I peck his cheek. “Thanks for your time and the drink. I’ll call you later.” I start to walk. “Oh, and say my ‘hi’ to your lucky lady.”

I grin as I left the bar after witnessing the shock on his face. Later, I don’t know that I will end up on nightmare I can’t stop crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slid my key back into my purse as I slip inside the apartment. The lights are off. It’s so dark making me to on the wall. I wonder where Changmin is but I can’t make my self to call his name, afraid that I will wake him up from his sleep. The tension in the air is so thick that the hair on my nape is standing. My knees bump into something and I plop down with soft thump on the couch. I start to gasp for air. Something is definitely wrong.

“Where have you been?”

I jump in shock at Changmin’s voice from across me. My hands clench into fists in my lap. “Baby, is that you? Why are the lights off?”

“Answer me! Where have you been?”

I know that I’m saved by distance. Still, I can’t help from shaking at his cold voice. “I have a drink at usual place. Baby, I can’t see you. Why don’t we turn on the lights?”

“It’s him again.” He laughs harshly.

My body shudders from fear. Oh no, it’s come back. My mind screams to run but my legs has gone boneless. I stare blankly ahead trying to make out his expression in the dark, but I can’t. My hands move on them self to grab the cell phone tightly. My rational thought calms me down. We can talk. We definitely can talk. I just hope he won’t release the beast inside him.

I breathe. “Have you eaten?”

“What do you care about me, huh!?”

Somehow, I’m still able to regain my composure and push my fear aside. As long as he doesn’t move toward me, I’m safe. “Can I turn the lights on?” Inside, my heart hammers against my ribs. My palms sweat a lot. Truly, I don’t want the lights on. He will see my fear with the lights on. But the darkness doesn’t help at all. It makes me vulnerable.

My body starts to shake again when I hear whimper from across me. Changmin is unpredicted. He changes after two years of dating. I never regret I love him, but I regret allowing my love to make me stay. He started to beat me these past two months. Apparently, he has loosened his beast’s leash. And it’s too late to back away as we’re now engaged.

“Did you ever sleep with him?”

The words sting me as if I’ve been slapped. Anger starts to build within me. “Changmin, he is my best friend!” I practically almost yell. How could he accuse me like that?

“Don’t ing lie to me!” He explodes. “I saw the way you two looking at each other!”

I bite my tongue to keep me from making retort. Anger will never help me to go through this, it will worsen it. “You’re being irrational.” I say as calm as I can. Slowly, I gather my strength to stand, which is nearly impossible considering my boneless legs and shaking body. “I’m going to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow when we chill out.”

I barely take ten steps when his arms sneak around my waist. I try hard not to panic. My phone still clutch tight on my hands with my purse. His breath is ragged as he bends low to kiss my neck. His hands start to wander on my hips, down to my thighs. I stand still, allowing him to do what he wan