“We have to let each other go…”

-JESSICA

 

“God, my head hurts!” Yuri groaned as get on the shower, she shut her eyes hoping the pain will go away when a flashback starts

“Goodnight, Yuri…” as the girl turned from the bed

“wait…”  Yuri grabbed the girls hand before it could take another step again, as she struggles to sit “I-I’m sorry…” as she leaned her head on the girls back and hugged her… “Yeseul-ah…Please… don’t leave me again…” as she hold her tightly “Please…”

Minutes passed and Yuri’s hold is getting loosen, obviously because of the alcohol, as she weakly falls in the bed with her eyes, getting heavier. But before she completely closed her eyes..

“Sleep well…” as Jessica turned to her

 

“Damn it!” She groaned, as she hit her on the wall “Damn it, Yuri!..”

 

“Good morning, Shinyoung…” Yuri greeted Jessica’s assistant

“Good morning too, Ms. Kwon..”

“Is Jessica here?.”

“She went out to a meeting with Ms. Tiffany.” Shinyoung answered “Would you like me to give a note?”

“No, it’s fine..” Yuri said “but thanks”

 

“That’s stupid….” Taeyeon can only say after hearing what happen last night

“I know… I know” Yuri nodded “I think she’s mad at me… she’s not answering my call”

“You think she’s mad at you?” Taeyeon asked sarcastically “Why don’t you try hate? If it were me, Tiffany will probably gonna kill me while I’m sleep”

“I get it…” Yuri sighed heavily; Jessica being mad is an understatement

“But seriously speaking Yul, be honest with me…” Taeyeon looked at her “I know things are going well with you and Jessica but do you still love her? Yeseul”

It’s true that things are going well with her and Jessica, they’re looking like a real family now but Yeseul is Yeseul “I don’t know… Probably, Maybe…  I don’t really know”

“Well, I won’t be surprised if you still do…” Taeyeon said as if she knew what Yuri’s answer will be “She’s the only girl you ever love after all…”

After talking for a while…

 

“Tiffany just texted, they’re already on their way home… We should go…”

Yuri just nodded

“Will you be okay?”

“I hope so…”

 

Jessica sighed in relief when she didn’t see Yuri’s car on their garage, she’s been avoiding her all day and she plan to do so because she doesn’t know what to say to her

“Yoona-ah…” Jessica talking to her daughter sleeping in her arms “The two of us will be okay, I promise…”

 

“I thought you might be here” Yuri said looking at Yeseul admiring the view of the sky

Yeseul quickly stood up as she grabbed her bags

“I’m sorry… I’m really, really sorry…”

“you’re sorry? You think if you say you’re sorry right now things will be okay, I’m gonna be oka?” Yeseul asked as tears formed on her eyes “Yuri, we could stand here all night listening to your sorry and it still won’t make the pain away, not even a little”

“I know.., but I’m still gonna say it… I’m really sorry”

“I didn’t say yes when you asked me to marry you not because I don’t love you..,” Yeseul starts as tears also starts falling slowly “I didn’t say yes because I can’t marry you with an incomplete me…”

“I know…”

“No you don’t because if you do we won’t be at this moment right now… I didn’t ask you to wait forever, 3 years… I promise you 3 years and I will complete myself and I will marry you. And every second of that time, all I could think about is you… and here I am keeping my promise while you didn’t”

“I wanted to tell you…  I just--- I don’t know how…”

“If you can’t tell me face to face, you could have sent a goddamn text!” Yeseul scream in pain “just one goddman text, Yuri… just one… and you couldn’t… Do you have any idea how many times I am regretting not saying yes that day? Every day… everyday…” as she falls on her knees

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry” Yuri cried as she hugs her “I’m sorry…”

 

Jessica looked at her phone.. It’s 10:30 PM.. No calls, no text, no Yuri…

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked grabbing the left side of her chest “You can’t get hurt okay… You don’t have that right…”

 

“You should go now Yul…” Yeseul pulled herself back as she stood up “It’s already late…”

“I’ll dr----“

“You have a wife and daughter waiting for you at home…” Yeseul cut her off “I can manage…”

“but—“

“just go…”

 

Yuri nodded as she made her way to her car… and as soon as the car drove off, Yeseul couldn’t keep it any longer as she break down and cried continuously

 

Tiffany was fixing the bed when Taeyeon’s phone rings… It’s Yuri

“Yuri’s calling you…” Tiffany said as soon as Taeyeon got in their room, Taeyeon looked at the time, it’s 11:00 o’clock

“Hey…”

“I know it’s late but can you go to the Stars Bar? You remember where it is right?”

“Yeah… I do” Taeyeon answered “Are you drunk? I thought you already went home?”

“no… It’s not me…”

“Then who is?” She asked but Yuri didn’t answer and just only realized “Okay… I’ll take care of her…”

“Thank you…” and before Taeyeon could ask another again, Yuri cut the line off

 

“Tiff, I ah---“

“Go…” Tiffany nodded as if she knew what happened “I’ll be fine…”

“Thank you…” She said as she went to her and kiss her head “I’ll call you..”

“Be careful…”

 

A deafening sound welcome Taeyeon…

“still the same…” Taeyeon mumble as she made her way through the crowd “and If I remember it correctly…” Taeyeon turns to her right “You’ll sit there…” and saw Yeseul drinking the hell out

“Hey….” Taeyeon called as she sits beside her

“W-what are you doing here?” Yeseul asked without looking at Taeyeon

“Yuri called…”

Yeseul stopped for a moment “Of course she did…” as she tried to stand up but the alcohol is already taking an effect, Luckily Taeyeon was able to grab her by the arm…

“Okay….” Taeyeon mumbled supporting Yeseul   “I think we can call it a night…”

“N-nooo, n-nooo” Yeseul mumbled as she tried to stand up straightly “I-I’m--- just—starting…”

“Yeah, I could see that…” Taeyeon stated as she took Yeseul’s bag and put it on her “Where are you staying?” as she support her from walking out of the bar

“I---I---…” and before she could continue what she’s gonna say, Yeseul completely fainted

 

Tiffany quickly answered her phone as soon as it rings “Hey…”

“Did I wake you up?” Taeyeon asked driving

“No.. I was waiting for you…” Tiffany answered “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… just….” Taeyeon sighed as she looked at the passenger seat

 

Tiffany rushed in front of the house as soon as Taeyeon’s car stopped

 

“How is she?” Tiffany asked as soon as Taeyeon stepped outside the car

“Totally wasted…” She answered and went to the other side of the car

“I’ll help you…” Tiffany said as she opened the door on the passenger seat and Taeyeon carries Yeseul

 

“I’m really, really sorry about this..” Taeyeon apologize as she put the blanket on Yeseul

“No, It’s fine…” Tiffany assured her “She’s your friend…”

“Thank you…” Taeyeon smiled at her “Let’s go to bed…”

 

Yuri sighed heavily as she tighten her grip on the steering wheel as soon as she stop the engine of her car, she is now in front their house… then another sighed again

“I didn’t say yes because I can’t marry you with an incomplete me…  I didn’t ask you to wait forever, 3 years… I promise you 3 years and I will complete myself and I will marry you-- I know… I know…” She cried “here I am keeping my promise while you didn’t – I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

 

Yeseul groaned as soon as she wakes up… “My God!” she shut her eyes, adjusting from the light “Where the hell am I?” asking, seeing an unfamiliar place… she sits massaging her head “Why is everything is spinning…” she groaned again as she stepped out of the bed and went outside

“you’re awake… how are you feeling?”

Yeseul looked at her confusedly “who are you?”

“Oh—I’m sorry… I’m Tiffany.. I leave here” she smiled

“O-kay…” She muttered, confused is still evident on her face “How did I get here?”

“Ahh, Taeyeon brought you here last night…”

“Taeyeon?” She asked as she remember Taeyeon at the bar last night “Sorry but I don’t know her…” as she went back to the room and get her things.. It was Tiffany’s turn to get confused, why would she say that

“I’m really, really sorry for any trouble that I caused last night…” She said as soon as she came back with her things “Where the hell did you bring me this time, head…” she whispered

Tiffany still looking at her with confusion “No, it’s okay… really”

“You said Taeyeon bring me here last night, right?”

Tiffany nodded “yeah, she is jus----“

“You couldn’t just let someone into your house, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“Yeah—but I kno----“

“I know Taeyeon can be charming but you can’t just let someone you met at the bar into your home…”

“Yeah?... I know…” She answered in confusion “but Taeyeon knew you so-, I’m sure it’s fine to let you in…”

Yeseul sighed “I’m not talking about me, okay… I’m completely harmless”

Tiffany couldn’t follow

“I’m talking about Taeyeon, you met her at the bar last night, didn’t you?”

“No, I—We are----“

Yeseul cut her off again “Whatever you think you have last night… piece of advice from someone who knows her… Trust me, forget it…”

“advice noted…” Tiffany said “I thought you said, you don’t know her?”

“That’s not the point, okay?” Yeseul  said “You’re a pretty girl and you look nice and you don’t deserve that kind of people in your life… so I am----“

“Good morning too… stupid…” Taeyeon cut her off from behind “Is that how you describe someone who took care of you last night?”

“As I was saying…” she continues looking at Tiffany, completely ignoring Taeyeon’s presence “you shouldn’t be associating with someone like her…”
“Yahhhhh!!!” Taeyeon screamed “You’re still drunk, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not, I’m completely sober” She stated “How could you bring me here?!”

“Well, only if you’re not wasted enough to tell me where you are staying, you won’t be here…”

“Still, how could you bring me to the house of someone you just met last night?!” As she looked at Tiffany “Sorry, no offense”

Tiffany shook her head

“What are you saying? Have you gone crazy?” Taeyeon asked in disbelief

“Do you remember last time you brought me to someone house? Someone you just met at the bar that night?” Yeseul asked, as Taeyeon looked at Tiffany in panic

“What are you saying?” Her voice cracked, followed by nervous laughed

“You knew exactly what I’m saying…” Yeseul stated “and did I forgot to tell you? That girl? She follows me around for two months, two whole months, because she can’t find you!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Taeyeon said with a nervous laughed

Yeseul sighed “I feel sorry for her for meeting a like you…”

Taeyeon gasped “- like me??”

“Yeah… you’re a … so you, Tiffany right? Whatever she said last night, that was all a lie… a BIG LIE…”

“Does she do that a lot?” it was Tiffany’s turned to ask “Bring someone she just met?”

“Always… All the time…” Yeseul firmly answered “So you should start moving on with your life and throw this away…”

“That’s not true..” Taeyeon defended herself looking at Tiffany “I swear….”

“you swear?” Yeseul asked sarcastically “Where do---“

“Just shut your mouth before I kill you…”

 

Taeyeon and Yeseul both looked at Tiffany when they heard her laughed

“What’s funny? This is not funny…” Yeseul said “I’m serious…”

“I know…” Tiffany said smiling “I appreciate your concern but I think Taeyeon and I will be fine…”
“No, you don--- ouch!!” she groaned when Taeyeon flicked her forehead

“I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce myself clearly…” Tiffany smiles as she hold out her hand “I’m Tiffany, Taeyeon’s girlfriend…”

“What? Girlfriend?” She asked in confusion “As in GirlFRIEND?”

“Yeah, stupid… She’s my girlfriend…” Taeyeon gritted her teeth “and if we break up today because of what you said, you’re dead…”

Yeseul swallowed, as she took Tiffany’s hand “I’m sorry—I… I didn’t mean to… I’m Yeseul.., nice to meet you…”

“Nice meeting you too”

“you sure, you didn’t just met her las----“

“I didn’t meet her at the bar last night, for God sake…” Taeyeon cut her off

“I’m just making sure… I don’t want to be the reason of a pretty girls heartbreak because of you..”

Taeyeon can only sighed

 

 

Yuri woke at the sound of the alarm, 7:00 AM. She breathe in relief as if the alarm save her from an unfortunate accident “It’s coming back again…” she mumbled looking at the ceiling “I don’t remember how it all stop before but now that you come back,  all of my memories with is coming back again, all at once…” She shut her eyes as if it will take all of memories away “Why did you have to come back?”

 

“I still can’t believe this…” Yeseul said as she took a bite on her food “You, Kim Taeyeon has a girlfriend.. Wow, that’s news to hear…”

“stop eating…”

“Why?” she asked eating  “I can’t help it… how long have you been dating?”

“Almost half a year now…” Tiffany answered

“That’s record breaking… because as far as I remember, for a hundred girls you met, the longest you’ve ever been with a girl is 3 days… 3 pitiful days…”

“I didn’t know you had that kind of record, Taeyeon…” Tiffany added

Taeyeon sighed again “you’re done eating, right? You should go…”

“Are you ashamed now? Must be time right?” Yeseul teased “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for us too? I can’t even look at those girls like I was the one who did them wrong… I ---“ She stopped when Taeyeon stood from her seat… “What I’m saying is… Taeyeon love you, a lot…” as she smiled at Tiffany

“I’ll keep that in mind…” As she looked at Taeyeon and smile

“Where have you two met? Please tell me you didn’t met at the bar”

“Why do you keep bringing out the bar? You’re making it sound like the only place I know is bar…”]

“isn’t it? I al---”

“We didn’t met at the bar…” Taeyeon sighed “We met at----“ she stopped at she looked at Tiffany with same worried eyes

Yeseul looked at them, noticing their concern “What is it? Is it something bad?” she joked

“We met at the wedding” It was Taeyeon

“Wedding, that’s sweet…” Yeseul smile “Whose wedding?”

 

Tiffany and Taeyeon both fell in silence and it wasn’t that long before she realized it  “Ahh.. I see…”

 

It’s been 15 minutes since Yuri went out of her room and went in front of Jessica’s room but until now she doesn’t have the courage to knock on the door.

“Yeseul-ah…Please… don’t leave me again”  How could she face her wife after calling someone in her sleep… She was lost in her own thought when Jessica’s voice pulled her

 

“Yuri, Do you need something?” Jessica asked from behind, holding a bottle of milk

Do I need something? Is there a reason why should I see my wife first thing in the morning? She thought “No… I just…  wanted to apologize for last night…” She said keeping her thoughts

“Ahh, I told you it’s nothing…” Jessica said

“I know but----“

“I am waiting for you…”

“That’s why I feel bad, you don’t have to wait for me, you can---“

“It’s not what you think…” Jessica cut her off

“Ohhh… “ Yuri can only say, What Jessica said isn’t offensive but for some reason Yuri was hurt.. It’s not what I think?

“I need to talk to you about something…”  Jessica said “I’ll just get this to Yoona, and we’ll talk”

“Of course, I’ll wait for you downstairs then” She nodded as Jessica entered her room “Why would you wait me if you don’t need to talk about something, right? What am I thinking?”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to your hotel?”

Yeseul shook her head “No, It’s really fine… I already caused enough trouble last night.”

“Yeah and this morning too”

Yeseul chuckled “I’m sorry about that… She seems nice..”

“She is..” Taeyeon said proudly

“Keep her, I like her…”

“You don’t have to tell me that..  I have no intention of letting her go…”

Yeseul smiled at her friend “This is the first time that you talk about someone with warmth in your eyes… you really love her, don’t you?”

“I do… so much…”

“I’m happy for you…” Yeseul smile again

“I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have to.. It’s not your fault, not Yuri’s…”

“Are you gonna be okay?...” She paused “Stupid question right?”

“I hope…”

 

 

Yuri’s been walking back and forth while waiting for Jessica… She couldn’t help but think that Jessica wanted to talk to her about that night… “It’s better to talk about it now than later…” She nodded “I could explain myself, I was drunk and I----“she stops as soon as she had a glimpse of Jessica

 

She swallowed as Jessica finally stood in front of her…

“I need----“

“I’m sorry…” Yuri cut her off “I was drunk and I do----“

“Were you drunk last night? I didn’t notice… I thought you’re just tired…”

“What?”

“Last night.. I told you, you don’t have to apologize…” She answered “anyways, the reason I wanted to talk to is, Tiffany and I need to attend to meet someone in New York, her schedule is full so she doesn’t have time to come here.. so we decided to just meet there…”

“I see…” She said “When?”

“Tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow? I think tomorrows good, I am free, and I could reschedule my meeting for the following day…”

“you don’t have to come…”  She said flatly

“You’re bringing Yoona, right?” Yuri asked

“I already asked Ms. Park to go with me, she’ll look after Yoona while I’m gone, it’s only two days so you don’t have to worry…”

“But I----“

“Yuri…” It’s Jessica’s usual tone but to Yuri it was like begging her not to come…

She wanted to ask why but she couldn’t… How could she? It’s obvious that Jessica didn’t want her to come “you’re right, Since Ms. Kim is with you… there’s no need for me to go, I’m sure she’ll take care of you to” she smile as she tried to sound normal as much as she could

 

After one week

 

“Yuri…” Taeyeon said as soon as Yuri answered her phone

“What?” Yuri asked groggily

“Are you still sleeping?” Taeyeon asked in disbelief “They’re coming back today, aren’t you going to pick them up?”

“You’re already on your way for Tiffany, right?” Yuri asked “Why don’t you pick them up too and drop them home… I’ll treat you dinner…”

“Kwon Yuri….”

“My head hurts… I’m going back to sleep…”’

“Yahh!! Yur------“ before Taeyeon could finish Yuri cut the line and can only sigh “What’s going to happen now, Yul?”

 

Yuri threw her phone on her side as soon as she cut the line. They’re coming back today after a week. Jessica said it’ll be for two days but it turns out a week. If Taeyeon hadn’t told her she won’t even know. She was even thinking of going there on the 4^th day but she held herself back and respects Jessica. If Jessica is doing this because of what happen that night she understands. She’s mad well who wouldn’t calling your wife with another woman’s name while you’re drunk is a grave mistake. But she couldn’t help being mad, pissed but most of all worried. She knew she had to talk to Jessica about it sooner but she couldn’t find courage to bring it up. She’s afraid of what will be the outcome if she brings up Yeseul.

 

“I thought you don’t feel good.” Taeyeon said as Yuri stand beside her

“feeling better now”

“I know this isn’t the right time to ask this but----“

“Then don’t ask…” Yuri cut her off “Whatever question you have right now is also a question that’s been going on and on inside my head,,, so don’t”

“Yuri…”

“Smile… they’re here…” Yuri said as she saw them on the arrival area

 

“Taeyeon-ahhhh!!!” Tiffany screamed as she run towards Taeyeon who welcome her with open arms

“I miss youuuuuuu!”

“I miss you too…” as she hugged her tightly

“you didn’t do anything funny while I’m gone right?”

“What do you think of me?” She defended herself

“Someone who will meet a girl on a club…”

“I told you—….” Taeyeon can only sigh, It was helpless… Tiffany has been teasing her ever since that day

 

“It’s nice to see you again, Yuri-ssi” Ms. Kim greeted

Yuri smile “how was your flight?”

“It’s good” She answered “but I think this little girl enjoyed it, she’s been sleeping the whole time”

“Sleepy head…” Yuri said smiling as she took Yoona on her arms “I miss you, little angel…” as she kissed her forehead “Did you miss me too?”

“Let’s go..” Tiffany said as Taeyeon took the trolley of Tiffany’s things

“Can you hold her for me?” Yuri giving Yoona to Ms. Kim “I’ll get the luggage”

“It’s fine I can do---“ Jessica stops as Yuri pulled the trolley from her without saying anything… Which everyone notice including Ms. Kim

 

“Thank you again Ms, Kim…” Jessica smiled

“I told you, you didn’t have to drop me off but thank you…”

“It’s the least we can do for taking care of Yoona” Yuri said as she handed her luggage

“Be careful on your way then…”

 

“What is it?” Taeyeon couldn’t help but asked seeing her girlfriend with worried look

“Nothing… I jus---“

“Worried about them? Yeah, me too” Taeyeon said “I don’t know what’s going on with Yuri anymore… She’s shutting me off”

“Jessica’s the same, keeping everything inside her like nothing’s wrong…” Tiffany said weakly “I wanted to give her space, she’ll talk about it once she’s ready but sometimes it was just so hard to stay still”

 

“We haven’t talk for a week, and the first thing you decided to said to me is divorce?!” grief on Yuri’s voice is evident

Jessica composed herself, she’s been thinking about this a lot and she can’t afford to break down now “I thought about it a lot an---“

“Clearly, not long enough!”  She bawled “If this is about of what happen that night… I’m sorry… I was drunk and clearly I don’t know what I’m saying…”

“you knew exactly what you’re saying, you just didn’t want to admit it...” Managing to utter without cracking her voice “I asked you before if there was someone else… you looked me in the eye and you no one… and all along there’s Yeseul…”

“We’re done before we even met and I----“

“Do you have any idea how it hard it is for me to look at you right now?” She cried “I can’t even look at you without seeing that girl, without having this feeling that it’s supposed to be her…”

“Don’t do this please…” Yuri pleads as tears starts from falling “Please..."

“We both know that this isn’t real… Whatever we thought we have until now is not real..” Jessica stated “it’s just an illusion that we created for being stuck in this tragic story”

 

Yuri shut her eyes, as tears continuously falling hoping that it’ll just a bad dream and when she opens it, things are gonna be okay..

But it didn’t.  Instead...

 

“We have to let each other go…”

 

--- Serenity

 

 

 

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