FINAL CHAPTER

The sunlight covered my room and hit my face and almost burning it! I forgot to close the curtain, whatever! I arranged my room and eat whatever was in the fridge. It was boring, eating alone, waking alone, talking to myself! My previous life was much better than now! but, what happened…happened, and I have to adapt myself to my new life and erased all the past! "I hope I can!" I looked down the street through my window, nothing changed actually. I was rolling on the room like an idiot, I didn't know why I was acting like a crazy!!! What would happen if Jay didn't do that? What would happen if yuri didn't show herself that day? what would happen if I stayed there and ignored all the nonsense? I kept asking myself useless questions, and the funny thing was I couldn’t answer even one question!

I let a strong sigh, then the doorbell…rang! "who would come here? I didn't order pizza!" I closed the curtain, the room was darker and went behind the door. "who is it?" I asked but there was no answer. The bell rang again which made me opened the door quietly. This person, I couldn't imagine myself to see him in front of me…and where? Here, in front of my apartment if I could say it's an apartment! He surprised me. "what? Don't you want me to enter?" donghae asked. YES, it was donghae! He himself in front of my door's sill! I didn't reply to him, actually I was hesitated to let him entered! "yeah! I'm sorry…come in! sorry!" he looked at me like he knew what I was thinking off then entered. We sat on the ground…the atmosphere was awkward like hell!!! The silence covered the place. He was staring at my nervous hands. "how did you know I'm living here?" I asked and broke the silence.

"I asked…who asked, don't miss, Right?" his answer was not cleared and didn't comfort me at all!! "how?" I wanted to know!! "I asked, stop this question now, you don't have to know!! Give me glass of water" he smirked at the end! well, did he think that he is in the restaurant? How rude to ask like that! I gave a small hesitated smile then I brought him 'glass of water'. The silence covered the place for the second time. "I think you know why I'm here" he said. I shook my head disagreeing him. "well…" he paused and looked straight at my eyes. I was afraid, he is not a dog…not a monster…not even a strange creature! But why I still not used to sit around him?!

-the fate want us to meet, isn't that mean anything to you?

-the fate, I think….OMG!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!

I slowly backed and stood while trying to search for a shoe! "what? What? What?" donghae stood and grabbed my arms to make me look at him. I swallowed my saliva and wide my eyes when I looked at the wall under the window. I pointed there to let donghae see what I saw! "WHAT IS THIS NOW???!!" there were 4 cockroach down and there, spending their vacation in my room! We stood in the middle of the room then donghae shouted while he still grabbing my arms and held me near him, then pointed at the wall behind me "EH!!" I turned my head as slow as I could to see what he saw too! There were worms crawling on the wall!!! Where did all these insects came from? I jumped at my place screaming like an idiot while donghae's face showed lots of disgusting and his expression was priceless! "why do I come here today? WHY?" I was jumping and tried not make any of these insects come closer to me, while donghae mumbling to himself! "YAH! Is this a zoo? Why aren't you clean it daily?" he shouted and stopped my jump. I looked at him fright while our faces close to each other. "I do! I really do…I don't know where it…" "do you say I brought it here?" "NO! NO!!" I waved my hands at him then he left my arms, why he always gets me wrong? AISH! I looked down to our feet then I stared at his face all at once.

"donghae-sshi!!!" he immediately understand what I meant with that tone. He swallowed his saliva too, then moved his foot and did some kung fu's moves! He was holding his face with his disgusting expression and turning to get off this cockroach on his foot! He released a small scream which surprised me! Then the cockroach fly and I moved away with another little scream when I saw this horrible scene. "look, if you take off these creature…I may come to you later! WHAT IS THIS??" he tried to go out then I ran to him and caught his arm tightly and prevent him to move any longer. "you won't leave me at this time, will you?" I gazed him with an idiot eyes. He stared at me like-what are you saying?- "you won't?" I repeated my question and tight my hand around his arm. "why should I have?" he took off his arm and wanted to move. "because I'm a girl!! No way you'll leave!" "really!! You girls are all the same!! AISHHHH!!" he entered the room with strong step like he fed up, and moved slowly avoiding to step over one of those insects. "where is the vacuum cleaner?" he asked. I nodded to him while looking at my room which turned to be a party for these insects! "what are you nodded for? Where is the vacuum???" I came back to my sense and pointed at the corner while I standing near the door.

"are you planning to make me do it by myself, cause you're a girl? Come in here! YAH!" when he screamed I ran to him and held his arm. "please, do it for me, I'm afraid right now, seriously!" he pushed my hand away. "understood..ahhh!" then pointed at the corner where was the vacuum stayed. "stay there" I nodded to him. He vacuumed and made each one of these insects disappear slowly. Then he went to the wall and cleaned it from the worms! I was suspicious until he came toward me. "the mission is over, how could a girl live in a place like this?" "this is the first time they appeared, maybe they are happy to see you!" I stood and put a tease smile on my face. "H…H…H…funny!" "thanks, you're my hero!!" my face went emotionless when the word hero pumped out! What am I saying? I'm not that comfortable with him!

I put a hesitating smile then moved and carried the vacuum to put it at it usual place to avoid his face. "I won't stay here, that was like a cartoon movie!!" he stopped then he moved toward me and drawn a smile on his face which is rarely he does to me. "want you try to eat outside?" I moved my head 25 degree to the right when he request that. "what?" I wanted to hear it again. "let's…go…outside. Was that difficult to understand?" he was explaining with signals and spelling the words slowly. I didn't know why the blood suddenly went to my cheeks! I could feel the fever on it! I remembered Jang su for a moment! STOP!

We went to a coffee shop nearby. We sat and ordered two cup of tea. "well, aren't you planning to return to us?" he asked and his question surprised me and made me spell the tea on the cup … again! he closed his eyes disgusted of what I did. "sorry!" I said. "never mind!" he replied.

-I don't think there is a place for me since hyukjae-sshi came back…and hyuori-sshi there.

-about that, hyuori-sshi still in hyukjae's room while he is sleeping with me…and siwon-hyung with Jang su-hyung, nothing change about those two…so, your room is waiting you!

-I don't think I have anything in that house, there is nothing but pain…

-do you erase all the good memories? Are you that hard-hearted? 

-what? If you want to call me a hard-hearted, then fine…that's me! I can't change myself…

-what's wrong? You weren't like that before!

-I'm human! Humans always changes…nothing still remained!

-is this because of him?

-NO

Suddenly, I felt my body shivering when he mentioned him! I changed my sight to look out through the glass beside us. My heart aching me, why this pain again?

-he didn't…until now…come near your room…

-so?

-SO? He is suffering! Do you think he is in peace now? he tried to forget you but he couldn't!

-please…if you want to speak about him, you chose the wrong person to say all these stories to.

-I can't believe you! I don't want to defend him, but…I know what he did over our imagination too…but….

-donghae-sshi! When your ex-girlfriend died, you blamed me! even though, it wasn't my fault, but you hated me! how come I stand seeing someone ruined my life? Made me start from the zero? Made my life miserable!

-Uee-sshi!

This was the second time that I heard my name, he said it with a guilty voice, with lots of serious emotion.

-are you still insist about me being hard-hearted? You are the only one who have been through similar thing like me, can't you feel at least half what I felt? But, you always hate me…even when…

-I'm not!!!

-I'm sure you still though! I know why you are here with me! But I don't know why this image in your head about me?

-I won't lie to you, maybe at the beginning…I didn't accept you and trust you at all…but now, I have totally changed my mind.

-it's too late now!

-there's nothing too late! Never think that way!

Both of us shut our mouth, his words touched me somehow! Nothing too late.

-are you planning to live your life like that?

-what do you mean?

-living in that apartment or whatever they call it, lonely, thinking of what you have been through!

How could he know? I pouted not because he annoyed me but surprised! Well, this is a new way to surprise!

-I have to adapt myself.

-what will you do if that insects show again? you're totally coward! I can't believe you're the same girl who defend us!

He said with a playful voice, I chuckled at him, he was trying to be funny! Oh, he really changed! Thanks GOD! Maybe he took some classes from Jang su…wait, why I'm talking about him again?

-well, you will show up, and hit them!! What do you think?

-do you want me to be your hero?

-oh, come on! How could be a handsome like you be my hero? Don't take my words so seriously! I was joking!

I was shuddering and the reason unknown, he changed to the point made me lose my power in front of him! 'I hope he is joking!' but his face showed to me the opposite of what I thought!  

-do you want me to protect you?

-are you by any chance, serious?

-do you want?

-…………………!!!!

My heart stopped for one second, I'm serious, for one second I couldn't breathe. Our eyes contacted and we stared at each other infinitely!

-I don't want to see you in more pain, you deserve better life, you deserve to erase your bad memories! I want to be the one who could help you.

He held my hand, my glove-hand which frightened me, am I dreaming? Was he really, really serious?

-maybe siwon-hyung was acting all the time, maybe he didn't feel any strange feeling than friendship toward you, but…I know myself, and I know my heart carefully. These feelings grew since awhile ago! But I kept it to myself.

-w-ha-t?

-I thought I might lose to Jang su-hyung, well, who wouldn't? But, until now…I'm hesitating to say it…but at least to make my heart relax, I want to spell it now! I don't want to hear any reply, just let me say it! If you want, close your ears!

He grabbed my hand tighter than before. His voice, his eyes, his words were totally sincere to me. my heart beating like 1000 beat in per second! The blood ran over to my cheek and made it red enough to show how I'm embarrassed. Was he telling me the truth? Or just another lie?

-when I knew about your secret, I thought that the others knew it already, but they weren't, which made me feel somehow happy! It sounds crazy but it is! I knew your story from your little brother! He told me after lots of arguing!

-how…..did you know him?

-well, I asked hyung! When you where upset, you always go either to the park or to the sea…I was stalking you!!

-what? Stalking?

That cleared one thing! When I felt that there was something…it was him? He was following me!!!!! OMG! Why he told me now? Jang su told him about gun woon? But gun woon never told me about donghae! I don't know!!

-I really, I do….I love you!

He grabbed my hand tightly. I bowed my head, it was shock and surprised to know! I didn't think that donghae could hold this feeling toward me at all! He said it…I love you!....I couldn't believe my ears. That's why he kept teasing me! that's why he covered my ears when siwon and Jang su talked about me! That's why he…didn't want to say it, and acting roughly! He tried to hide it! Unlike siwon who tried to help his friend in improper way! Donaghe is totally different than him.

-I don't want any reply, cause I knew Jang su-hyung is still in your heart…I don't want to be rude, but I'm trying to unveiled this burden! Now I'm much better…

-do you…really love me?

I raised my head then I asked him with emotionless eyes, and dry voice. I was shock to death! he nodded to me smiley! He smiled! How it's rare to see his bright smile! even if he didn't hold any obvious dimple, but it somehow give you a good feeling! he let off my hand, then he cross his hands and looked through the glass with a happy eyes that I didn't figure before.

-are you telling me the truth?

-why should I lie? You know me, I'm strict!

- then why you didn't tell me earlier!!! When you knew I would have been through many difficult time, why you didn't show up?

-do you think I didn't search for you? Do you think I was sitting and crossing my legs?

-are you telling me the truth?

I was depressed and the reason unknown! He headed forward then raised my hand and put it to his chest, exactly on his heart. I opened my eyes widely.

-do you hear this? Do you feel it?

-………………!

-for each beat, each beat says ….I love you! That's how much I care about you! As each beat of my heart!

-donghae-sshi!

His romantic side was totally different, I didn't imagine him like that! I was able to cry, to shout, to scream! He let off my hand. Then leaned his elbow on the table and faced me with his smiley face. I stared at his eyes aimlessly.

-if you said that you love me, why you talked about Jang su-sshi at the beginning? Why you kept defending him? What if I reunion with him?

-I told you, I knew he is in your heart, no way he would move from it! No matter what I do! As I said, I don't want to see you in more pain! I want to help you to get you back to your sense! Maybe you would back to your mind as before! I want to see you happy with the one you love! And that what will make me happy too! That what I should do for you!

He explained to me his true desire, even if it would hurt him. I didn't know he was kind like that! He shocked me…what should I say more? I'm totally speechless!

-plus, I don't want to cheat him! He is my hyung before I fell in love with you! I don't want to build my happiness over him! As for me, I want to erase the bad memories in your heart before your mind! I want to see hyung happy too! So….

-what are you trying to say? How could on earth people like you do that? I can't believe you!

-there is, if I was in hyung's place, he would never let this go! I want to repay him! So, could you please forgive him?

Somehow, I felt like if he was gun woon! His kindness and his caring to his friends made me envy them to have someone like him around! He made me speechless! He made me changed my mind, He made the ache inside stop either! But, why I still staring at him? He showed in a good time!

- …can you be my hero?

He straight his back then looked at me wonderingly.

-are you serious? Am…I didn't say what I have feeling to….

-can you? Please! Be my knight! And kill all the sadness inside me! can you do that? Can you erase my hates toward your friend? Can you?

-Uee-sshi?!!!

This was the third time! Third time, and each time was in different tone! This one was holding lots of hoping!

-what about Jang su-hyung?

-he is no longer in my dictionary, help me to take him off of my heart! I don't love him but help me to stop hating him more! Please!

-Uee-sshi!!

He held my hand then came closer to my face. He took off my hand then caught my head and stood with a 45 degree and kissed my forehead. The tears gathered in my eyes but I held myself and prevent them from dropping, it was an emotional scene. He covered me with his kindness in this one and half hour!

-thanks….!!

-promise me one thing!

-what? Anything!

-don't make me suffer….ever! don't leave me when I need you! Don't die, don't cheat!

He nodded to me strongly and smiled. "I promise you, I'll be your source of happiness" I looked at him then we both grinned to each other. My eyes still holding the tears but I refused to let them. "can I ask you a question?" I nodded to him. "if Jang su-hyung knows, and your feeling toward him grow, would you leave me?" I froze by his sudden question. I didn't reply to him cause I didn't have any answer to his question! "I…I….don't know" he didn't do any reaction then looked at my cup and said. "I know it hard to think right now, but…could you please, empty your cup?!" I didn't get what he meant. Then he completed when he saw my questionable look. "empty your current cup, for me,…fill it with another tea! Can you?" I bowed my head then I raised it again. "I will, but help me!"

We went out the coffee shop holding each other's hand. It was like a dream at the day! it was like I'm in heaven! Even if I still didn't hold any feeling toward him, I know that day by day it may grow a blossom love! Even though, my heart refused to stop this stupid pumping and pounding! The first love was painful, Jaewoon left me and made me suffer! The second love was the most aching one and painful until my heart almost went out my chest because of the pain! And this one, who knows what would happen?!

Until we reached my apartment, he was holding my hand tightly which made me smile ear to ear! "I will call you later!" he said. He let off my hand and pointed to me to go inside. I pretended to go inside and hided myself. Then I peeked at him, he after 3 minutes turned and wanted to leave, then I harried to him and hugged him from the back. I grabbed him tightly, in front of the people. "yah! What's wrong? It's embarrassing!" he tried to turn his head to the back to see me. but I didn't open my mouth and closed my eyes and just leaned at his soft and gentle back. "let me stay like this for a minute!" I even cross my arms around his middle tighter. I didn't know why a strange feeling exist me! like if he would disappear!

I let off him then he turned to me and put his both hands on my shoulders. "you can't leave, can't you?" he asked with a proud smile and eyes. Then I nodded, my head blushing of what I did! I waved my hand then I ran inside but he stopped me when he said loudly. "saranghae!" I didn't turn my body but I raised my hand and waved it for the second time. But something inside told me to go back and turn my body. When I did I saw Jang su standing near donghae. I opened my eyes widely!! I couldn't believe my eyes at all! I went slowly to them. They both recognized me, Jang su's face was pale…his eyes went red all up sudden. "so…you both are hanging out?" Jang su asked. I stood near donghae and grabbed his arm but he took it off gently. I didn't get why he did that! Was he trying not to hurt his friend? It might be! "hyung!" donghae said.

"are you happy now?" Jang su looked at me with his unusual dry voice and asked. I felt guilty somehow for nothing! "congratulation! It was a shock to see you hugged him from the back, and it's really awkward to see you shouting for your lover! You're a perfect couple!" he teased us. I looked at donghae's face which turned upside down! Was he felt guilty too? "don't be upset, it's not like she loves me too! It's safety to see her around someone I know rather than stranger, right Uee-sshi?" we both couldn’t say a word to him, it was awkward like a hell! "nice…nice couple!!" he clapped his hand sarcastically. "Go for it donghae! You're her hero right?" what? Was he with us when we were talking? "hyung! Ple…" "see you in our dorm, have a good night…Uee-sshi! It seems like I lost my last chance!" he paused for a moment then said something I heard it before "Baby without you…I'm gonna be OK!" he was dancing and his moves was slightly and emotionless. OMG! He sang the same song when he was drunk! Did he know that he will face this fate? Did he know this love would never grow? I wonder! he waved his hand, and showed to us his back and slowly disappeared! Disappeared......yes he disappeared!

After this day I didn't see his face! I completed my life with donghae, while Jang su travelled abroad with his sis, hyuori. Siwon and hyukjae all went and ran their lives, we weren't in touch with them like before but we still know about their update! Though, hyukjae always from period to another visit us while siwon just calling us and invited us to a dinner each week! At the beginning, it was awkward to sit around siwon and talk, but for each dinner it made me feel comfortable, and thanks to donghae who helped me to forget what happened to me. Donghae didn't cut his relationship with them even Jang su, he kept calling him. The house that held my pain and my most bad memories, sold! They all went in their own way, but what made me relaxed was they still with each other. I don't want to feel that I was the reason for their departing!

About my family, yuri disappeared and until now I don't know where she is! Gun woon lived with his real father, nevertheless, he didn't change his name yet, but Jay promised me to. He did, he stole the company from yuri, but I prefer seeing it under his managing than yuri!! I was in relief when I know he lived with his father, cause I know how much Jay love gun woon. I didn't keep in touch with gun woon like before, but at least I could know what he is up for! Jay demanded from me to be the lawyer of the company, but I refused to…I want to start by myself, I don't want any part from the past to follow me…when I'm with donghae, it's like I'm reborn!   

After I lived up with donghae, he provided me all what I need! LOVE…CARE…LIFE…GOOD MEMORY. He was so kind and gentle. My heart day by day beat for him, my heart finally found a good and true love! "UU" well, he started to praise me that way!! "YES!" "do your cup fill now?" I looked at his eyes and walked slowly toward him then I caught his shirt roughly and pulled him down to my face. "do you want to know?" "sure!" then he caught my glove-hand and took off the glove. "I don't want you to wear it anymore, I'd prefer you like this!" I looked at him in a surprised. His moved touched my heart. "can you bear seeing hand like this, daily?" I asked confusedly. He raised my hand and held it tightly. "I will cure you! Even if there is no way to…I'd prefer to see it like this than wearing the glove " he paused then added. "U…I love every little thing about you…so, I'd accept anything in you!" he smiled his bright smile which made me smile and blushing too then he cleared his throat. "hmm" he was totally cute!  

I grabbed his head then I put a quick kiss on his right cheek. I ran to my room then he shouted and chased me. "YAAAH!! WAIT!! WHAT ABOUT YOUR CUP!!!??"

-END-

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hope you liked the ending <3 I enjoyed posting my fic here hope you too

what do you think? is it predictable? xDD is it a happy ending or what? cause I think it's 50/50 xD

I'm now writing a new fic and I hope when I post it here, you will support me <3

thank you for you support <3

mmmm, I'm thinking to write DMMS part2...are you agree with me? or it is ok to end it like that? 

my friend told me to end it like that xD I'm just curious about your opinions <3 and then I'll decide if I'll start writing the part 2 or not