Chapter 23

We arrived home but we both couldn't move…then finally I opened my mouth. "why all the things went on the same day? How could my heart bear all that? I wanted to see him…WHY YOU DIDN'T LET ME SEE HIM?!" I prevent myself from crying while Jang su stared at me aimlessly. "you have to be strong" "MORE THAN THAT?!" I held back myself, but I couldn't breathe very well, I pressured myself. "I lost my mom, dad, Jaewoon…and now who I thought who would stay with me…left me in this world! Why wasn't it me?" suddenly, his arms surrounding me and warmed me. I hugged him back and finally let my tears fell freely. I cried more and more until my eyes gone all red! "don't say useless thing…you have to be strong, for your brother…be patient" he hugged me strongly. "stop crying…I told you, I hate saying you…..I hate saying people crying in front of me" even though the tears refused to listen to him. I remembered gun woon and each day that I spent with him, and how he kept hyper at the least days. "JANG SU! MY HEART! IT'S HURTING ME…I WANT TO SEE HIM"

He pushed me smoothly, then raised my face. His hand wiped my tears gently. He stared at my eyes which it lost the view, everything was blurring. "tomorrow, you will see him…he will be fine! Trust me…and trust him…please, stop your thinking and stop those tears" he was still holding my face. I nodded to him then we headed to our rooms. "sleep well" he said before entering his room. I bowed my head then opened the door and lied on my bed slowly while the tears gathered again.

The next day, I called the hospital to kill my worried which it was growing each second. They told me he passed the dangerous position which made me smile ear to ear. I jumped to Jang su without thinking. I knocked the door then entered the room slowly. "Jang su-sshi?!" siwon was standing and his hands behind his back while watching through window. "he is not here, do you need anything by any chance?" he replied and moved toward me. "nothing specially, I will go now…" he stopped me when he asked me suddenly "how is your brother?" I opened my eyes like -how did he know?-. Jang su! He couldn't swallow his words! He immediately told siwon! "he is passing the dangerous position…I will go to see him" "I will go with you…if that alright with you!" I smiled at him then agreed him. "did you know where Jang su now?" "Jang su!?" I bite my tongue. 'how could I say his name like this!' "I mean Jang su-sshi!" I rolled my eyes like an idiot! he looked at me wonderingly. "no!"

We arrived at the hospital then siwon saw his friend which took about 5 minutes to talk to his friend! I left him then headed to gun woon's room. But I stopped my steps when I saw at the end of the lobby both….YURI AND JANG SU! They were serious at talking to each other. My curious didn't leave me alone. I went slowly to where I could hear them clearly. "listen! Take off this ridiculous thought and follow my order!" she scolded him! What a mean woman! Even here? Were they talking about their business?

"after she coming back, everything will change…" "do you threaten me? Or do you think I can't do what I told you before?" what happened? Is there something between them? was Jang su also have a problem with this company? "yuri-sshi!" "you don't know me, so it’s for your sake to listen to each word I said to you…keep me in your mind you idiot! I don't want to see you here, everything…we will discuss it in the office…" she left him and I tried to hide myself after a big vase. She walked until she reached gun woon's room. I peeked at Jang su who still at his position, didn't move one inch! Why she talked to him like that? His face was in a big shock…but why?

"what are you doing? Why you left me there?" Siwon's hand placed at my shoulder which frightened me! "nothing" he looked at my direction then his face turned upside down. "were you stalking Jang su-hyung?" I opened my eyes widely "of course not!" he looked at me with doubtful eyes. "where is your brother's room anyway?" I pointed to the direction while my eyes still placed on Jang su. I felt of siwon gazed so I tried to ignore Jang su… but I couldn't. siwon wanted to go to Jang su but I grabbed his arm. "leave him…let us go" he looked to my hand then slowly raised to my face.

"what's going on?" I caught his hand and went to gun woon's room but before it I remembered that yuri inside, so I was hesitating to open the door! My heart was beating strongly and I could hear the beating clearly. The door opened while I still in hesitated. "Uee-sshi?" I looked at him, he was the same person who I saw in the hospital yesterday, and the same person who I saw in yuri's room! He was the person who will marry yuri. "Jay-sshi!" we still gazed each other while siwon was wondering about my hesitating! "it's great that I see you today…I want to talk with you, separately!" I looked at siwon then he nodded to me. "I'll wait you, don't worry" 

We walked at the end of the lobby where Jang su suddenly disappeared! Then he stared at me "I'm not going to take a long time from yours. I didn't dare to open this letter and to give it to yuri-sshi too. So I decided to give it to you directly." I looked at him strangely. "what this letter about?" "it's from gun woon…before he injured himself, he wrote it and even wrote your name on the envelope" I took the letter from him strongly then left him to sit on the seat without even letting him finish what he wanted to say. I ripped the envelope and with shaky hands I opened the letter slowly.

'To Uee-Noona,

I don't know if I have the right to do that or not. But I'm sorry because I didn't treat you very well at the beginning. You're a great noona who I will never meet. I'm so upset…I can't forgive my mother, today…I discovered something that myself couldn't believe. I discovered that I'm nothing in this world. And I'm just a card for my mom to get all the properties! I'm sorry…I wanted to see you, but there is no time! I don't want to see my mom get married by someone else!

Noona, Do you know why this ajashi treat me very well? Do you know why mom didn't treat me very well? Because he is my real father! Noona, my mom gave birth to me just to stuck the properties to her! She lied to your father…and I'm not your brother! I know that you will hate me after reading this letter!

Noona, be healthy…I don't want to see you in pain…because it will hurt me too. Stay with your love, he will protect you…for me I can't protect you…I'm nothing but a card in this life…I'm sorry.

Noona…

 I love you.'

I raised my head to where Jay stood. The tears gathered not because I was sad of what I read…but because I'm so crushed and shocked! "what? YOU CALL YOURSELF 'MAN' ?!" he was confused of what I said. I ripped the letter and threw it to his face then headed to yuri immediately. He stopped me when he caught my shoulder. "what he wrote?" I looked at him with lots of hate. "he is trusting you…I mean, he was trusting you…how you did that to him. NO…how you did that to my father? Aren't your heart hurt you at least? Aren’t you stealing a woman from her husband?" he opened his eyes like he understood what I wanted to tell him. "let off me, I don't want someone who has unscrupulous to touch me"

BUT,he caught me again. "you don't have the right to badmouth me! If you didn't know the whole thing…. " "then you have the right to do what you did? You have the right to broke a kid's heart? You have the right to steal…" I interrupted him then he interrupted me "SHUT THE HELL UP! What are you saying?" "I will close my mouth not because you told me to, but because I don't have to talk to you, I will go to yuri!" I left him and harried to gun woon's room. I entered the room strongly. "NOONA!" he called me but I ignored him, I grabbed yuri's arm and pulled her after me. "what are you doing? Let off me!" she was beating me but I didn't care, I just pulled her to where his future husband stood. At the end of the lobby, while siwon waiting for me near to gun woon's room. I bet he was watching us.

I pushed her to Jay. "are you crazy? Do you want me to call the security?" I smiled at her… "call them…why are you waiting?" I paused while they both looked at each other. Without feeling of my hand, it was flying to yuri's face! I SLAPPED HER. How I wanted to do this action from awhile ago! "you are a big sly that I had never met before!" she shocked of what I did and what I said. She tried to hit me but Jay prevent her. "do you lose your mind!?"

-YES! I LOST IT FROM VERY LONG TIME!

-WHAT? If you didn't move right now I will call the security you evil!

-TRY!

-I'll be patient, as much as I can!

-why you did that to my father? Even if you didn't love him, didn't you have any loyalty?

-please don't make me laugh! Don't pretend to be a good girl at the end of a bad story!

-yeah! You are right! Actually…I'm one of the actress in your story, yuri…and you're the lead actress!

-what are you trying to say?

-did you know this man before you knowing my father?

-even if I did, what will you do now?

-did you cheated my father when he was with you?

-YES! Everything was planned by him and of course me! What will you do after knowing that?

-so you cheated my father! You lied to him! ARE YOU PROUD OF WHAT YOU DID?

-yeah! Because your father was such a fool and stupid man! He was believing each single word I said to him…and what he said to you don't trust anyone….he makes me laugh.

My eyes went all red, I didn't believe her badmouthing my father and how she mocked at him! I raised my hand to slap her again, but I couldn't do it. I was burning…burning until I felt all my body was heating! it was shaking too. She badmouth dad! Please! What should I say or what should I do?

-what you did to my father isn't acceptable! What you did to gun woon ISN'T ACCEPTABLE AT ALL!

-who do you think you are to judge me? You are no longer here you little evil!

-I'm the person who will stand in front of you …when there are no one to stop your evil plans!

Jang su said the same words to me…in this bad situation, he came up to my mind! But….yes, I 'm here to stop her no matter what!

-get lost!

-listen to me! If you didn't write this man's name instead of my father's name to gun woon, you will regret it.

-hahahahahaha…who you think you are? 

-YURI, I'M NOT HERE TO PLAY A BAD GAME WITH YOU…YOU HAVE THIS WEEK ONLY!

-if I didn't do it?!

-I will kill you with my both hands!

Jay and yuri looked at me strangely while I was burning inside and outside. She lied to my father and took all the properties! How would I shut my mouth when she did all she wanted to do? I looked at jay once. "if you call yourself man…you better do what I said…"

I left them and pulled siwon hand then we went out the hospital leaving gun woon behind. He didn't say anything just followed me and walked beside me. I was able to hit something and scream from what I heard and what I just knew! Everything went one after another without a small space between them! "I have to do something, you go before me!" I demanded from him to leave me, he didn't say anything but nodded, but when I wanted to leave his voice stopped me.

"what happened? I didn't dare to ask you before couple of minutes, but I don't think it's a good idea to let you go by yourself!" when he said these words I don't know why my power suddenly disappeared! I agreed him inside my heart, but I don't want to return to home. I wanted to go to places where I could release all these problems! They were getting worse and worse each second! I didn't know if he really didn't hear anything! "do you want to eat somewhere?"

In this situation? I looked at his eyes with hesitation! He put his arm around my shoulder then moved me. "I know a good restaurant near from here!" I didn't say anything but moved while his arm around my shoulder! I didn't know why he suddenly did that! And I, didn't take it off!

We arrived at the restaurant, but it was almost like a bar! "what do you think? Isn't it great?" he finally took off his arm. I nodded to him with a small smile. We sat on the table placed near the dancing ground. They were all hyper and crazy! The sound of the music was hitting my head to my brain! It was place which increased my pain! But I didn't show to him that I was annoyed! He brought with him two glasses of water! "I know that you don't want to drink anything right now, am I right?" I took the glass then drank it slowly. "thank you, can we leave now?" he ignored me then he was acting like if he was interesting in those who dance! I sighed for a moment then I watched them…but! "oh…Jang su-hyung!" siwon said to me while laughing! I stared at the person who was pointing at. He was really him! He was dancing and screaming like a fool! But…he wasn't by himself, he was dancing and touching another girls! Why my heart hurt me?! I couldn't see him more than that! He was losing his control of himself! I didn't imagine to see him like this! EVER!

Siwon went there and pulled him to our table. "hyung, what's wrong with you?" he was laughing and shaking and couldn't hold himself! "are you drunk?" siwon kept asking him. I was looking at him…I don't know how this sight could be described! But my eyes were placed at him all the time. "AH! UEE?! HI!" I sighed at what he said, he was fully drunk…at this time! "what? Are you… mad… at me again?" I changed my sight for a moment then looked at him again. "I'm gonna be ok…I'm gonna be ok!! Baby without you…I'm gonna be ok!" he was singing!! HE WAS SINGING LIKE A STUPID! I couldn't bear seeing him like that at all! "STOP THIS CRAZINESS!" he looked at me with a pity eyes which broke my heart somehow! "it seems that I didn't get relaxed here, it's a bad place, siwon-sshi! I'll go before you" I went out quickly.

"why siwon brought me there? My heart hurting me!" I caught my shirt roughly. what was the thing that made Jang su upset this much! I wonder! I walked over the town aimlessly. Thinking about yuri, gun woon, jay, donghae and JANG SU! I didn't see donghae since last night. I hoped he returned to home. He spent too much time to sit with himself.

Finally, I arrived to the park. Who would think that I'll be here at the end! it was a time of a sunset. "if I went to the sea right now! How I'm stupid!" the children were slowly disappearing. I sat on the couch while seeing the sun. suddenly, my eyes placed at something strange were behind the trees. I stood to be sure of what I imagined but there were nothing! I sat again aimlessly. Jang su has a secret with yuri…I hoped she didn't threaten him! Why the thinking of him conquered my mind?! "AISHHHH" I stood to return to home but again there were sounds behind the trees which that started to afraid me! I went out the park quickly and didn't dare to look at that place again!

I arrived home but I'm still hesitated to enter it. Thinking of Jang su and what happened to him earlier made me afraid to see him like this again. But it's been almost 4-5 hours since I left them. 'How long I will continue like this? I have to throw away all my thoughts' I opened the door slowly then entered the living room. "where have you been?" siwon asked me with a strict voice, it was unusual to speak to me in this informal way! Specially him! I looked at him strangely like –what happened?- he stood angrily then came closer to me. "where have you been?" he was almost like scolding me! "wh…what's wrong with you? was something wrong happened?" I asked him confusedly.

"I ASKED YOU…WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?" He shouted at me which frightened me and made me jumped at my place! He shocked me by his sudden attitude! I was really shocked to death of his side! Why he shouted at me anyway? "WHAT'S WRONG? IT'S NOT YOUR BUISNESS!" I scolded him back. I didn't want to say anything nor did the same thing; but he made me lost my control! He was angry and the reason unknown! He left me and went out! I looked at his back wonderingly! I believe there was something bothering him, he didn't act like this before even if he stressed out! He made me puzzled yet my heart was pumping out strongly!

I sat on the living room but I didn't turn on the TV. I wanted to stay here, something inside me told me that! After several minutes, the door opened by donghae which made me surprised and stood. He gazed me with the shocked appeared on his both eyes too. I didn't know what to do. "I understood, you will not see my face when you around…but I wanted to see you, to say those words to you…I'm sorry" he didn't show any reaction at all which made me turned my body and headed to my room but he stopped me when he said "wait a minute"

I froze at my place then turned my body to where he stood. He was trying to talk but something prevent him from talking…maybe his pride? It took about one whole minute to open his mouth. "it's okay, you don't have to say it…I know it was my fault…." "NO. IT wasn't your fault.." his words made me surprised yet teary! "it wasn't my fault nor your fault…I have to say this to you earlier, but I was in a big pressure, I owe you apology. I'm s…orry" he paused then added "and I have to thank you for your hardworking, you really worked hard for my case, I didn’t praise you enough before…but I'm really thankful…"

WAS MY EAR DAMAGED? Or WAS IT A DREAM? I looked at him with a big smile…with a very big smile! Like it was a big mountain unveiled on my chest! He walked to his room while I was still not believing what he said! I touched and bunched my cheeks…this move started to be a habit! then I laughed like a crazy! Was this the first good point in my new life? Was this signal that my life would get better? The first burden finally released! I turned my head to where donghae's room…BUT, he was standing behind me and saw each single stupid moved I did! My cheeks turned to be red enough to let him saw how I'm embarrassed! I headed to my room like nothing happened "were I that burden to you?" I stopped after hearing him saying this sentence. I didn’t answer him but I bowed a little to him. "don't be happy this much…I still don't trust you!" he left me to go to his room while I still standing confusedly. Anyway! He apologized and thanked me! This was the first happiest thing happened to me since I came here! I wanted to go to my room too but before I opened it I remembered siwon. I went out quickly searching for him.

"he is absolutely in that place!" I went immediately to the sea. He was sitting there as I thought. I was hesitating to go near him, after hearing him shouting, it seemed to me that he could hit me if he was totally angry!! But I didn't want him to suffer again with himself! It would affect his health! So I gathered my strength and went slowly near him. I hit his back jokingly then he turned his head quickly to where I stood. I smiled at him but he didn't show any emotions on his face. "am I seeing Jang su-sshi in front of me?" I said jokingly and sat beside him but he stood straightly when I sat!! I looked at him strangely which his moved really puzzled me! I stood to see his face then he sat down again! I smiled mockingly! I stood and looked at him while he didn't turn his face to look at me! I crossed my arms then trying to talk while I'm standing beside him. "what's wrong with you? You didn't want to sit beside me?" he didn't say anything but he was seeing the sea very carefully!

"please, don't act like this…it doesn’t suit you!" he didn't even smile or open his mouth! "I'm talking to you! Hello, I'm here!" I was playing with my hands to let him see me. "leave me alone" these two words stopped me. "why? What happened?" I wanted so badly to listen to him and to sit beside him. "if you didn't leave me now, I will go" "ok…I will leave you! But be sure that I will know what makes you upset!" I left him slowly while watching his back. "why you did that to me?" his words stopped me again…I was confused so I returned to him. "what did I do?" I asked him confusedly.

He didn't see me and his sight was placed at the sea. "why you stormed my heart?" I opened my eyes widely as I didn't get what he said. I couldn't open my mouth it was like a shock! He stood and turned his body toward me. He looked at me with sparkle eyes while my eyes still opened widely didn't believe what I heard. "you really stormed me! What should I do? I think about you each minute…each second! What they call this disease?" he wanted to raise his hand and put it on my shoulder but he backed. I bowed my head. I couldn't believe my ear…what he said? Could he repeat it?…my heart pumping out strongly…beating strongly. I couldn't close my eyes from my shock! Was he meant it?

"Uee-sshi" I raised my head when he said my name. "I love you" my body froze, froze till my toes! "I don't want you to give me any answer right now, I know your heart is somewhere else…" I opened my eyes more than before…what did he mean? I couldn't open my mouth and asked him. "I don't want to force you…but I think I'm reach the point which I can’t hold myself back anymore…" he paused again and my heart with each word raced. "can you stay with me?" he asked me and touched my face gently. I didn't open my mouth. "even if you love another person, I will wait for your answer…" I looked at his eyes for a moment then finally I opened my mouth. "I…don't know what you meant by saying 'my heart somewhere else'….but…" I looked at his eyes again. "I don't know what should I say, I will think about it…I…" what am I saying to him? He opened his eyes then held my face with his both hands. "I will wait for your answer…I'll wait…I hope you will find your heart…" I took off his hands slowly with a shock in my face. I left him with unsteadily steps.

Then without warning, he hugged me from the back. I froze at my place. "don't leave me!" he said with a concerned voice. I couldn't move for one inch! The sea breeze was very warm at that moment. He kept hugging me strongly then I came to my sense and tried to take off his hands. "please…control yourself…" I said those two words and left him with more unsteadily steps. Then I ran…I ran very quickly.   

Why? I cursed myself. If I didn't go to him, he wouldn't say these words. Why I accepted his request? My heart beating strongly. In front of the sea…he said that to me. Even Jang su said the same thing to me! In front of the sea! All the shocked things happened in front of the sea!! Was he meant it? Why my heart still pumping!? Or…did Jang su mean it too? Why Jang su chased me? "WHAT SHOULD I DO??" I let these two words out of my heart!

I returned to the house. They were all sitting in the living room, even donghae. "you came!" hyukjae said then he caught my hand and involved me with them. I looked at siwon who was sitting beside me while Jang su sat near donghae on the other couch. "when you all here I want to say this news to you" They all saw each other. "what do you want?" Jang su asked him with impatient voice. "I know everything went too quickly these days…but, tomorrow, I will travel…" "what?" donghae interrupted him. "as you heard, because my mom condition gets worse, so I have to take her abroad…and that would take several weeks or even months" they all shocked by his news. everything went after another! That was a true thing! A very strong true thing!

That's why he was disappearing all the day, because he was with his mother! "I will keep in touch with you guys…it’s good for me…I want to change my mood too" he paused then completed "don't make it like if I'll die! We will be fine don't worry" the depression seemed on their faces. "I have to change my mood too!" donghae said. "why you didn't tell me earlier?!" he added. "no you have to stay here with hyungs!"

"when does your flight?" Jang su stood and walked toward him. "in the morning" "do you need any help?" Jang su asked him and dabbed his shoulder then hyukjae shook his head. "I wanted to see your mother…but it's too late now!" Jang su said to him which made hyukjae smile. "I have to arrange my suitcase." Hyukjae excused us then went to his room, after that he paused and looked at Jang su "take my room but don't inspect it!" they both smiled then donghae followed hyukjae to his room. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of siwon's request nonstop! Didn't know when I would stop this thinking! I stood to go to my room, when I turned, I saw Jang su who was standing aimlessly looking at hyukjae's room! I remembered his nonsense this day which made me frustrated. I walked beside him headed to my room.

I stood behind the door couldn't move further than that. I was thinking deeply, forgetting all my problems and focusing about his request nonstop! He told me in the wrong time, how could I think about it smoothly when thousands of thoughts over me?! When I was fighting with myself I heard them saying goodbye to hyukjae, so I harried to him to see him maybe for the last time. He waved his hand and smiled when he saw me running toward him. "take good care of your mother, if you need anything, call us" Jang su said. He was dabbing hyukjae's back while hyukjae just smiling. "hyung, I hope you will take good care of your health" hyukjae looked at siwon who was standing and didn't open his mouth until hyukjae spoke to him. "sure…I will! Let's keep in touch, we will miss you" after these words he left us behind. "I will drive him to the airport." Donghae looked at jang su. "can you?" actually, jang su's voice was doubtful enough to show to donghae how he was really worried about him. Maybe he was thinking that he might lose his control suddenly because of what he have been through lately. They walked out, Jang su, donghae and hyukjae, while siwon stood near the door watching them leaving.

"why you didn't go with them?" I asked confusedly. "I don't want to leave you here alone!" he turned his face to where I stood. He made me uneasy, he changed! I didn't pay him attention and headed to my room. "did you think of what I told you?" his words stopped me. This fast? He wanted me to reply to him THIS FAST? I didn't turn my body, I just stopped at my place, compelled! Until I heard the door opened which made me turned my body despite me. It was Jang su. "aren't you going with them?" siwon asked him confusedly. I was confused too, I thought he would drive them! "why? Did I ruin anything between you two?" he looked once at me and once at siwon with mocked! "why are you like that? I didn't mean anything!" siwon answered him then went to sit on the couch while I, still my eyes placed on Jang su who looked at me. I didn't know if I could count this sight as a wonder sight…! He went and sat with siwon and opened the T.V while I couldn't move from my place! 'what's wrong with me?' my feet carried me out the house. I sat at the backyard again, I didn't want to go the sea or even went away from the house cause my feet couldn't carry me more!

I stayed aimlessly and without even thinking of anything, I got blank suddenly! My knees near my face and I looked at the sky and the moon. Without warning, Jaewoon backed to my mind who I almost forgot! I hided my face in my knees, wanting to cry but I held myself. I have to be strong no matter what. The situation got worse! And I have to break all these thoughts. "what are you doing?" strange voice made me raised my head. This voice I didn't use to hear, strange voice that my ear could hear almost once a day! I looked at him with a teary eyes. I wiped my eyes before I drop the tears. I stood to see him clearly. "nothing, did you drive hyukjae to the airport?" I asked donghae. He nodded to me. "he will travel after half an hour from now" he looked at my eyes directly which it rarely from him to do, I mean with this care eyes! "what happened? Why are you crying?" I shook my head immediately to him. "I'm not!..." I paused then completed. "I'm happy, actually…very happy!" he was confused of what I said, I could feel that. "what…for?" "seeing you in front of me, talking to me, asking me, seeing you better than before…makes me happy" he changed his sight and smiled with a little sarcastic. "you are good at flirting! That's why hyung loves you immediately!" I opened my eyes widely! "what do you mean?!!" I couldn't hold this question inside! "and that's why I couldn't trust you!" was he cursing me? What was he exactly said? I didn't get it!

"don't get me wrong…I heard voices here, that's what make me came…." I looked at the ground, couldn't look at him directly! I felt like he wounded my pride! I couldn't drop tears cause I know he would think that I wanted to melt his heart so I held it back as much as I could! He kept looking at me then I raised my head…when I raised it, the tears fell down automatically! I cursed myself for this moment. I turned myself to the other side trying to avoid him to see those tears. He kept looking at me without moving! "I want to be by myself, please!" I demanded from him with lots of push to made these words came out from my mouth. "why are you crying now?" he asked like if he didn't say any bad things to me, was he pretending or was he teasing me? Actually, I didn't think I cried just because of him, but because all the bad things happened to me all at once. I couldn't answer him and I wiped the tears which fell one after one. I tried to gather my strength. "I'm not crying because of you, it's just I'm stressed…so please don't stress me more!"

He didn't move or even say something! I looked at him while he still staring at me, like if he was thinking about something. "I HATE MYSELF WHEN I STARTED TO CRY IN FRONT OF everybody! PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE!" He opened his eyes surprised of what I said. I collapsed…didn't control myself anymore. I sat down hided my head under my knees. 'why am I crying? Please stop it now!' I was trying to pull myself together…but I couldn't! I kept crying and crying, yuri's face came up to my mind. Remembering how she cursed my father so easily made my heart burning. Knowing that gun woon not my brother anymore, broke my heart into pieces! And now, donghae thinks that I'm A !! Why I thought that my life would take another curve while there were still a lot of things that need to solve! How long I will suffer like this?!

Suddenly, the weather changed and started to rain heavily. He didn't move, I could feel his shadow. I didn't move my head or hide myself from the rain, I just let it hit me and wet me. Suddenly, his hand dabbed my back. "you have to go inside! You will get sick" even these words didn't prevent me from crying. I took his off while my head still hided between my knees. "JUST LEAVE ME!" I said with lots of burning inside my heart. I heard his strong sigh. "YAH! Do you want to be burden for us again? It's better to move inside now!" I raised my head slowly when he said those harsh words. "burden?" the word just went out itself! "don't you want to move?" he grabbed my arm strongly and pulled me to stand while my whole clothe wet. Suddenly, he recognized something that I wouldn't want anyone to discover. I tried hard to hide it from them…but it seemed to me that there are nothing lasts forever…secret! "what's wrong with your shoulder?"

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