Chapter 19

I opened my eyes widely, more than ever…I couldn't feel anything around me. Everything was blurring. My heart was beating again like a drum. He grabbed my head and put his fingers on my hair, with this moved, I didn't know what happened to me. I was between closing my eyes and opening it. This feeling; it was my first time to experience it not even with jaewoon but with who…with Jang su. It was really made me fainted somehow! He got off and looked at me with priceless eyes. I was still in shocked of his sudden action. He whispered to me with his hand still on my head "see, I made you faint, don't say there is noth…." I slapped him for his useless words. I was shaking and my tears were almost dropped when he said that to me. "Am I that … easy to you? Do you think it's…a game?" my heart refused to stop these hard beating and refused to stop this shaking. He looked at me like if he was confused

I finally came to my sense and kicked out all nonsense thought. I stood and went away while covering my mouth. What's going on? I'm shaking to death! This feeling stormed me, made me dizzy. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. "I'm sorry…I don't know what happened to me…am…am…really sorry" I couldn't look at his eyes. "Please, move away!" I wanted to move but he still refused to let me go. "Please, understand me…it's something…" he paused. I looked at him trying to understand him, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could find to understand him! He shocked me…I didn't expect him to be like… "Listen…I have to admit to you something!" his words made me froze again and stopped despite me.

"I think…….I'm in love with you!" I raised my head not believing what I heard. I couldn't say a word, the beating inside started to increase. "That's why I couldn't control myself…I'm sorry…I know that I have to be aware of you too…" he paused and looked at me sincerely if I could say it this way. I still in my shock, the tears gathered in my eyes but they didn't fall. "You really know how to lie" I paused for a little looking down then looked at him again. "How could you say this word so easily? How could you love someone who you barely know?" I didn't move my eyes from him; he shocked me for the second time. "Don't say anything else…I didn't expect you to be like that, so don't say another word that will change my thought of you" I walked by him but he grabbed my arm…again. I didn't turn to him and he didn't too. "So…you think I'm lying to you!" he let off my arm then said "I'm not that type of guys…there are no conditions to love someone…I thought you were having the same feeling as me…but it didn't happen, so forget everything happened"

Each one moved in different direction, the tears finally dropped. was he really meant what he said? I don't want to be so sensitive. How could I forget what happened this fast? I can't! It will become so awkward to me. Why I still thinking of him and of his words? Jaewoon!! Why he came to my mind now? Please…that's started to be too much.

I arrived home with lots of shock, but when I opened the door, I tried to forget everything happened. I opened the door slowly hoped not to see Jang su there but someone was running toward the door and opened it strongly for me which frightened me. "Where's jang su-hyung?" donghae was gasping. "I don't know! What happen?" I asked confusedly while I still outside the home! "Wasn't he with you? Why he didn't answer me when I called him?" donghae still asked about Jang su. He left me then I entered the house. I felt something strange, hyukjae and donghae were worrying and that what their faces showed. "What happened? Is there something wrong?" I asked while looking at them. They didn't reply to me which made me more confused and concerned. The door of the house was opened by…Jang su. Donghae ran to him and grabbed his shirt roughly then took off his hand when jang su looked at him with a scary sight.

"Where have you been? Siwon is sick and he refused to go the hospital!" donghae said. "He didn't listen to me, you know how it's hard for him, why you didn't answer me when I called you?" he still completed his sentences. Jang su didn't show any replying but finally opened his mouth "I took off the battery; it's nothing new to say that he refused to go to treat himself! He always like that!" jang su said with a strict voice, his face was without emotion. "You know he listens to you, why are you like that? His situation is different from us and you know that!" hyukjae interfered with impatient voice. Jang su looked at him then he moved by donghae to Siwon's room.

What's going on? Why he said these harsh words when he knows his friend's condition? He started to scare me. "hyukjae-sshi, what's going on with siwon-sshi?" I asked hyukjae because donghae's face was holding lots of anger, to tell the truth I never seen him laughed or smiled in front of me! "He is sick" he replied with this simple word. I wanted to smirked at him but I couldn't, 'I know he is sick'…donghae sat beside hyukjae on the sofa while putting his hands over his face, I could feel his worried. I waited with them in the living room for almost 10-15 minutes then Jang su went out the room with siwon who his arm leaning on Jang su's shoulders. I stood when I saw siwon's face; his face is so red yet yellow! "siwon-hyung! So you were waiting for jang su-hyung?! You started to kill me" donghae said while moving toward them. Siwon smiled at donghae's replied then looked at me. I was really worried about him but I couldn't say anything. Jang su was avoiding the eye-contact with me then they went out with donghae. Siwon's steps were unsteadily and yet shaking! I changed my sight to where hyukjae sat; he was bowing his head and didn't do any action; maybe because of their fought?!

"He is suffering of irritable colon" hyukjae added while his head still down. I was shocked of his words, I don't know much about this ill, but it sound really serious and dangerous. "Really? If he suffered of it why he didn’t want to treat himself?" I asked confusedly. "When he knows about it, it was before almost 2years. Then he takes his medicines here and didn't go to any treatment center! He always says that there are no treatment for this illness" he paused then completed "I know you'll say there are two of stubborn guys here, and I will agree with you" he raised his head to where I stood. "Is it dangerous? When he always feels it?" I asked while sitting in front of him. "as for my simple info, the doctor said to him that the reason for that is his psychological, but when jang su-hyung talk to him he will immediately go, and I want to know what always hyung says to him?! But most the time he didn't want to, this is the first time he felt it after 3 months" he replied. "It means that it may still with him for a long time." I added then he nodded to me.

I felt sorry for siwon, he is fighting with this illness and miss his little brother; his situation almost like me. It's really hard for him, I wanted to help him but what should I do for him?

Donghae entered the house strongly running to hyukjae showing him his cell phone. 'Wasn't he going with them?' I stared at him confusedly. "What? Again?" hyukjae said while looking at the screen with opened eyes. "What will you do?" he completed. Donghae was holding his phone and his face showed a scared feeling. I didn't know what they were whispering to each other but this house held lots and lots of things and that what I'm started to afraid of discovering it.

"Don't afraid of someone like him! He is….I can't describe him! Delete this message" hyukjae said. "I won't delete it…are you crazy? This is the third time!" donghae scolded him. "And he didn't do anything from that time!" hyukjae interrupted him. 'What they are talking about? I want to see this message!'

"I will call jang su-hyung!" donghae played with his phone but hyukjae stopped him from pressing the green button. "He can't do anything, and he is with siwon now! Be patient until they arriving here…" hyukjae said while taking his cell phone and closed the cover. The silence covered the place which made me puzzled for their conversation. I didn't dare to involve myself since donghae already didn't like me to interfere of his life. I bowed my head a little then hyukjae's cell phone rang which made him went outside, while donghae still standing with his shocked face near the sofa. Then he looked at me and finally opened his mouth. "Tomorrow…be careful…maybe there is something will happen, don't open the door…to anyone unless they are us, understood?" I looked at him in questionable gaze.

I didn't want to ask him because I know he hasn’t enough patients! But I nodded. He stared at me which this sight made me a little bit uneasy. "I…I…" he was mumbling, I couldn't understand what he wanted "Is everything OK?" I finally opened my mouth and asked him. He turned his head and headed to his room while moving his hand like-nothing-!! I don't know why he always avoiding me, is he really hates me that much?

I waited for siwon to make sure that he didn't feel any pain…anymore. I was thinking about him nonstop! "I hope he is fine now" I prayed for him. Hyukjae didn't return from that moment until now. I wonder what kind of call was that. I waited and waited until the door was opened by Jang su and Hyukjae. I stood up straightly to welcome them. I ran to them while they carrying Siwon; Hyukjae held his right arm while Jang su held his left arm. Seeing his face and his position like that made my heart beating…why? I grabbed my mouth when I saw Siwon lost his power and fainted. "Hurry and open the room's door" Jang su shouted at me. I ran to open it then they laid Siwon on his bed; he didn't do any moves, he was totally fainted and didn't feel anything around him. His face was red; his breath was intermittent, I could feel and heard it!I didn't know what to do. "Hyukjae, bring a bucket with towel…his fever is getting worse than before" Jang su ordered him. "I will do that, I will bring it now" I interfered and went out to the kitchen without even waiting for his replied.

I fell the bucket with hot-cold water and put the towel inside, I was shaking…and I didn't know why! "Did you find it?" Hyukjae entered the kitchen. "Yes…is the temperature of the water suitable for his fever?" I asked him to check it. He put his hand in it "No, add more cold water" I nodded to him then I added as he said. I put the towel and bucket on the tray and went out but suddenly, I fell down while holding the try. I put the try on the floor and caught my head…it was hurting me to death. "Are you ok? What’s wrong?" Hyukjae followed me and dabbed my back. "Yes…It's hurt a little but I'm fine" I said while trying to stand up again and held the tray. I knocked Siwon room's door then opened it and entered the room quietly. Jang su was sitting beside Siwon and he tried to check his temperature and removed his race by tissues. Jang su raised his head and looked at me. My head was hurting me and my hand was shaking because of that, I put the tray on the table near Siwon's bed when Jang su told me with his eyes.

To tell the truth I didn't want to leave the room, and Jang su's face made me feel his tired and burden somehow which made this idea stuck in my head. "I will stay all the night with him if you're tired" my tongue again said what I wouldn't want to say! He gazed me then smirked…! "Oh, really? Is that ok to stay with a GUY at the same room?" he was provoking, I could tell by his voice. "I will cure him…I won't do anything else…what are you trying to say?" I was totally pissed off by his mocked! "I don't feel anything but if you want to be with him in this tough moment and to win his heart, I will let you staying with him" he stood and walked beside me…I wanted to do something to him…he made me speechless, why I would win his heart anyway? "Don't do anything impropriate, understood?" I turned and wanted to reply but he put his hand on my lips. "Don't shout, he is sick, don't make such a noise!" he said with a care voice. I froze by his moved; he started to shock me with his sudden moves! He went out and closed the door after him.

Why he always throw this kind of words? Why he put this idea in his head? I'm not that type of girls! Why will I do this 'impropriate' moves? My head hurts me again but I ignored it. I hit it and went to set beside Siwon. "Maybe I didn't sleep well at these few days! Ah, this hurts me". I stared at him; he was very sick, seeing him in this position made me really wanted to take his pain away. I didn't want anyone to suffer…like me. I know these bad feelings very well.

I put the towel in the bucket then placed it on his forehead which it was very hot. "The bruises in your face…it may hurt you more now!" I was pitting him! Usually I hate to pity myself or the other…but why I did this for him? I was talking to him like if he was listening to me! I touched his face to check his temperature again. His breathe made me wanted to throw his pain away somehow! AHHH… What I could do for him is to decrease this fever. I stared at him all the time. Suddenly, Jang su entered the room which made me stood. "What? Am I not able to sleep here? Complete what you did, like I'm not here" he said then went to sleep on the sofa placed on the corner which I could recognize him very easily…it was on my way!

He lied on it and put his hand over his face. "You will sleep like that? Don't you want a cover?" I asked him. He took off his hand then looked at me. "I always sleep like that…I'm ok with it anyway…complete your work, don't leave him for even one second, it's your chance!" he put his hand over his face. "What's wrong with you? Is that how you treat a person who wants to help? Please, you already frustrated me…don't say those useless words!" I almost scolded him but I lowered my voice. He didn't even move or pay some attention which made me returned to where I sat before. 'He is really a strange person!' I took off the towel and put it in the bucket but the water was not purposed to use anymore.

I went out to the kitchen to change the water but there was some mumbling in the living room, even though the light was switched off and I thought there was no one! I filled the bucket then went to stand near the door which I could hear those mumbling clearly. "I'm worried of tomorrow, I didn't tell hyung about what happen, he looked so tired…what should I do?" it seems like Donghae's voice. "Why are you so touching to this message anyway? It's not the first time!" oh! Hyukjae too! Are they still talking about that message? "I'm sure he knows about my lawyer! He could do lots of things…didn't you hear her when she said that those people would do anything if the situation went up!" Donghae still horrified! I started to be curious! Is he threatening him again? "Look, clean your mind from these nonsense thoughts, he can't find out about your lawyer…how could he know? Think about it carefully…now go…" "Look, to tell you something…I didn't trust her…she is being a burden for me somehow, I mean for us! I think she will ruin everything. I'm worried about this point! Believe me, if you didn't involve her with us, I wouldn't be this much worried" Donghae interrupted him.

Now, it was me who he didn't trust, who will ruin his plan! Huh! He really doesn't know me! But why he thinks about me like that? He hurts me somehow! Suddenly, the pain returned again…I caught my head and slide at the wall slowly. The pain was more than before. "Why are you saying that? She is a good girl! She tried to win the case for you…don't be thankless!" I could hear hyukjae defining but his voice was buzzing in my head! I couldn't stand; the pain was more than I could bear it!

I hit my head strongly, and leaned at the wall to stand again. "Let's leave everything for tomorrow, we can't do anything now" Hyukjae said. I held the tray and went out to siwon's room. Donghae and Hyukjae were in front of me when I went out the kitchen! "Are you still awake?" Hyukjae asked. I nodded at him while my eyes placed at Donghae. I wanted to move but Donghae's words stopped me. "You were there all the time?" I didn't turn my head nor did any reaction to him. I completed my way to Siwon's room and opened the door and closed it. This moved took from me lots of courage! I'm getting more confidence now!! What the hell I'm talking about now!? It seems to me that the 'teasing person' is sleeping…deeply. How fast?! I changed the towel and put new one over Siwon's forehead. When I wanted to check his fever he opened his eyes…finally!

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enjoy <3

well, I'm a little bit  depressed T^T there are no comments at all about the new chapters....but, I hope who read it silently, like it!

thank you~ 

stay tuned for the next chapters cause the action will begin :D