Baekho’s POV

Walking into the next room, I kicked a chair. I was so pissed! I don’t know what the is going on, but it’s really getting on my nerves. I know it all started when I mentioned pleasing him. Ren just went like….well he didn’t go crazy, but he left and he never came back. I should have known that whole ‘I’m going to get a drink’ thing was just a ruse. I should have gone with him, and maybe we could have talked things out. But I didn’t, because I love Ren and I would do anything he says. And now, he can’t even talk to me, much less look me in the eyes.

It’s been going on for weeks now and I’m tired of it. We had another dorm switch, and now JR was my roommate and Ren took the single bedroom. He claimed it was because that room was ‘too hot’ and he needed a cooler room. It felt fine to me. It was after that I knew he was avoiding me, and the only reason I could think of that he would be doing that, is because of what I said and did.

…

It’s not something I ever thought I would want to with another boy. Of course, I never thought I would be with another boy. I know I’m not homophobic, despite the conservative way I was brought up. Times were changing and with all the socialization I had from school and becoming a trainee, I became open minded. Well, I became open minded of other people liking the same gender, not me. I suppose that’s why I denied my attraction to Ren for so long.

But I can’t anymore. I lost him once and after nearly being killed by Minhyun and Aron, and having the talk with Adrian-hyung, I realized exactly what I’ve been trying to deny, trying to justify. Everything I did with Ren, the hugs, the holding hands, even sleeping in the same bed with him at night from time to time, it was all because he was more than a friend to me. This love happened and I never even knew it. So of course I didn’t think about having with him. I thought a lot about having with Uee noona, or other female artists.

But now I had Ren, and he is just so damn beautiful and y. or not, I wanted to please him. Besides, if Aron and Minhyun could do it, I could too! Even if it took me a while to work up the courage to go all the way with Ren, I would still do it, because I love him and I want him to realize just how much I love him.

But now…

“Baekho!” Minhyun shouted as I kicked another chair and nearly hit our choreography teacher. I blushed hotly and bowed.

“I’m sorry.” I said before making my way to the water cooler and poured me a glass and downed it all in one go. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to stare at Minhyun. Our stare stayed locked for a few seconds before he blinked and looked away.

“What’s wrong hyung?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged and filled my glass again.

“Why not? You just kicked a chair and sent it flying, nearly hitting our teacher.” Minhyun reminded me. Yeah, that was embarrassing. I was going to have to do something to make it up for our teacher.

“Yeah, still I don’t know.” I told him. He frowned at me and I raised a brow. “What part of ‘I don’t know’ don’t you get Minhyun?”

“Well it would be nice if you would explain a bit more.” He snapped at me before sighing. “Sorry.” He said and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to snap, but you know you’re my friend Baekho and I want to help you.” He said. I smiled and sat my glass down. Little Minnie, he was just so adorable. I patted his head gently.

“You always want to help don’t you?” I asked.

“Well, might as well right? You’re important to me, so I want you to feel better.” He said. “So what’s wrong?” he asked again.

“I don’t know Minnie.” I said and sighed. “Ren’s been acting weird the past few weeks.”

“I guess.” Minhyun said, thinking. “Is it because he moved out of your room?” he asked.

“Well doesn’t that strike you as weird?” I asked. His head slowly nodded. Of course it would be weird. Ren and I have only been together for a few weeks and now he moved out of our room. At least I wasn’t being accused of doing something to him this time around.

“It does.” Minhyun said. “Why would he move out? I mean, I know he said it’s because it’s cooler in the room JR had, but why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because he told me not to.”

“And you stayed?” Minhyun asked in shock.

“Duh.” I said and rolled my eyes. “Minhyun, we may be together and yes I love him, but I’m not going to invade his space because of those two reasons. If he wants space, he can have it, I don’t mind.” I told him.

“Then why are you kicking chairs?” Minhyun asked.

“Because he won’t talk to me about it!” I growled and sighed. “He just left and he won’t talk to me, he won’t look at me and he avoids me. He’s screwing up the routines because he’ll stand further away if I’m next to him.” I told him. It was so frustrating. The love of my life that I hurt so deeply, but made up with is now avoiding me! It’s hurtful! It really is and now I understand, at least on some level, the pain I put Ren through. I just can’t imagine why he would do that to me. Did he want revenge? But why? It was all so confusing.

Minhyun was listening to my problems and I felt bad. I know he had his own relationship to work on and his own problems. I know he and JR are trying to work on their friendship and it was going good. I didn’t want to burden him with my problems as well. But you know, he did ask. Grabbing his own cup, he got himself a drink and leaned against the wall.

“Maybe there’s something that’s worrying him, or scaring him.” He suggested. I looked at him suspiciously then. Did Minhyun know what happened that night? Is that where Ren went? That wouldn’t be a surprise, he and Minhyun were close friends and I’m sure they gossiped like school girls. Maybe Ren told him what happened. But if he did, why didn’t Minhyun bring it up? Well for one thing, it was none of his business. Or, maybe he really didn’t know.

“Like what, you think? I mean you’re his friend and I’m sure you share all kinds of secrets.” I said and grinned and Minhyun chuckled.

“We do.” He said with a nod. “Well, our first tour is starting in a few days.” He said. “Maybe that’s what he’s worried about and he doesn’t want to burden you with his problems.” He suggested. Oh, that was something I hadn’t thought about. Our first tour. It was a scary thought, but I was super excited to travel to different Asian countries and meet our L.O. /\. E.s. It was going to be super fun.

“Still…he should know better. I would be there for him and listen and try to make him feel better.” I said. Minhyun just laughed and patted my shoulder. What the hell was so funny? It was true; I would be there for Ren.

“Baekho, in case you forgot, you tore Ren’s heart to pieces. You ripped it from his chest, stomped and spit on it.” Wow! That was harsh. Damn Minhyun was cruel. I made a mental note to make sure I didn’t piss him off….again.

“Thanks Minhyun.” I said and turned from him and started for the door.

“Baekho.” He called and I stopped, turning to look back at him. “Look, I’m just saying, you really hurt him. And even if you are together now, he may still not be over that pain. I mean look at me and JR. Even though we’re trying to be friends, I’m still hurt and I’m still afraid he’s going to slip and make some hurtful remark.” He said softly. I sighed softly and nodded. Right, of course. Even though I made things up with Ren, he was probably still hurt. Why didn’t I think of that? But would giving him space help him get over that? Or should I do something to show him how much I love him? I wasn’t sure. Damn it!

“Well thanks for that. I’ll keep that in mind.” I said and stared for the door again.

“Give it time Baekho. Maybe once we do our first concert on the tour he’ll lighten up a bit and open up to you.” Minhyun called and I nodded as I opened the door and joined the other three. They were fooling around and having a good old time. I had to smile at that. Even if I couldn’t be around Ren, touch him, kiss him, sleep with him, at least I could still see him smile and that’s what I loved most, his beautiful smile.

JR’s POV

Man this was great! A whole tour of our own. I never thought we would hit such fame so quickly. I blame it on Ren, without him, we probably would have fell under. Fans love the slightly feminine but good looking idols. Ren was certainly that. He should take most of the credit and the rest goes to the rest of us. We worked hard to get where we are today.

This was not just a tour, but a vacation and a celebration. Nu’est was a hit and as long as we had the fans, we would always be coming back. I think talk of our next album is in the making. I can’t wait to comeback either. Hopefully by then though, things between me and Minhyun will be better. I’ve already made up with Baekho and Aron. Ren…well even if I don’t talk to him, if he sees me working on things, he’ll forgive me. That’s just the kind of person he is.

I’m still shocked though, that Minhyun had a crush on me. I never thought I could attract boys, not that I did on purpose. I don’t know what he liked about me. But I’m sure whatever it was, it’s gone now. After the way I acted. Looking back on it, it was a stupid way to respond, but I wasn’t as open as the others were. My family is very strict and homouality was never talked about. So I guess I never thought it existed and that all guys are supposed to like girls. I guess that’s why I reacted so strongly, I’ve never had to deal with the thought of a guy being with another guy. Even though I joked with Minhyun that if he was gay, it would be okay. But I joked, because I knew he wasn’t, or at least I thought he wasn’t.

Wow, I got to learn to think before I speak next time.

“This is so not fair.” Ren said as he stood next to me, looking out my window at the night life. The buildings sparked bright with lights and it almost reminded me of home. It was beautiful. “Your room is bigger than mine.” He pouted and I laughed, patting his shoulder.

“Well of course it is. I’m sharing it with two other people.” I said and turned, staring at Aron, who was fiddling with his phone. Minhyun was walking between the bathroom and the main room, putting his things away for the few nights we were here.

“True.” Ren said and nodded and sighed. He walked to my bed and fell back on it, staring up at the ceiling.

“What’s wrong y?” Aron asked as he sat up, staring at Ren.

“Nothing, just nervous.” Ren answered.

“Don’t be.” I said and walked over, sitting next to him. “We’ve come far you know?” I said. “I remember back when were on our first set for Face.” I said and grinned.

“I remember that.” Aron said and laughed. He looked at Ren then and smirked. “Still looking good Minki.” He teased. Ren grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

“Shut up.” He said and sat up, smiling.

“We worked hard that day, and all the days after that.” I said. “We’ve gotten a huge fan base, not just in Asian countries but all around the world.” I reminded them. “Don’t be nervous. No matter what happens or what we do, we’re always going to have our L.O. /\.E.s following us.” I said.

“Right, and as long as we have them, we can do anything.” Minhyun said happily as he stood in front of the dresser, smiling at us.

“That’s right. So, no more feelings of nervousness, or being scared. We deserve this tour. It’s our own little vacation and celebration of being idols. So let’s do great and enjoy ourselves and in a few months come back with a bang!” I said with a nod.

“Great speech Leader!” Aron said and clapped happily. I smiled before looking around. “Where’s Baekho?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh he was still unpacking in our room.” Ren said and looked away.

“What? You mean Baekho’s not by your side? This is inconceivable!” Aron said and Minhyun smacked the back of his head before placing his phone on the night stand.

“, shut up.” He muttered before heading back into the bathroom.

I raised a brow at that. What was that for? Something was going on? It was something related to their relationships, that I knew, but…okay maybe I don’t want to know. I’m fine with them being together and all, but I don’t need to know any details about anything.

I’m still not that comfortable with all this. Hopefully Minhyun and Aron will refrain from doing anything ‘gay’ like while I’m in the room with them. And not on my bed too.

“Just forget it.” Ren said as he got up and headed for the door. He left and I looked at Aron then and he shrugged.

“It must be that time of the month.” Aron said with a shrug and I snorted. Rolling my eyes, I got up and started unpacking my things too. It was late, and really we should all be in bed, but we need to get our things put away, then we can go to bed. Morning was going to bring the start of a crazy schedule for the next few months, but I was looking forward to it.

I knew we could do it and as long as everyone was together there was nothing Nu’est couldn’t do.