Ren’s POV

It didn’t really come as a big shock to me when the announcement was made. Adrian-hyung and s spent a month with us, helping us practice. And even after our comeback with Action, they still hung around, willing and ready to help us. It was wonderful to have a group that was so willing to teach us in such a competitive industry. There had been hints, signs that I saw Minhyun exhibit before that Adrian-hyung had exhibited while helping us.

So when he finally came clean, nothing really changed. Some of them were shocked, but not me, not Minhyun. We were accepting. I don’t know why, but I just felt like I couldn’t judge him. I hadn’t known right off the bat, so I had time to get to know Adrian-hyung. His announcement of being gay didn’t change anything for me, because he was still my friend, my hyung and I looked up to him.

His explanation as to why he came out, it was heartwarming in a way.

~*~*~

“Alright, alright.” Adrian said, turning off the music. “Let’s take a break. Great job everyone for working so hard.” He praised. We gathered around and bowed to him in appreciation before moving off to get water and cool off.  We hadn’t been sitting  for too long when the other came over to us and sat down. Our bodies move and we all made a circle.

“While we rest, I just want to tell you how much fun I’ve had working with you.” He said.

“Don’t say that.” JR said. “It sounds like you’re planning to leave us.”

“Yeah, don’t go.” Minhyun said.

“I won’t. You know hyung is just a call away.” Adrian said and laughed softly. “But, I’m not leaving. I say that because what I plan to say next may change how you all view me.” He said, motioning with his hands. Adrian was a very adamant talker, very animated.

“Nothing could change our view on you.” Baekho said. We all voiced our agreement. I sat there, nervous though. Adrian got such a serious look on his face and I was scared. He could confess he has a life threatening illness and was going to die. Or he was going to be moving away, or his band broke up or something.

“You say that now.” Adrian said and smiled weakly. “Just remember, I’ve always felt that no matter what, you should be honest not only with yourself, but to those who are very close to you. Keeping secrets is not something I like to do.” He explained. “That’s why, I want to come clean. I hope afterwards we can all still be friends.”

“Always.” Aron said and patted Adrian’s thigh. The other nodded at him before looking down at the floor. He took a few deep breaths before raising his head again.

“I’m gay. I want you all to know this, because you may hear rumors about me and my group mates. None of them are true of course. I’m not dating any of them, but I do have a boyfriend and I wanted you to know this, so you don’t have questions and make rumors yourself if I ever brought him with me.” He said.

We were silent for a moment. What Adrian said was very personal, a private matter that he wanted to share with us, so we knew. And thinking back on it, he did some things that I’ve noticed Minhyun doing when around JR.  It was a shock sort of, but in the end, I think already saw this coming. At least he wasn’t dying.

“Thank you hyung.” I said, breaking the silence with a smile. He stared at me. “You’re very brave for saying this. And we appreciate you being honest with us. We would never make any sort of rumors about you, but now that you’ve cleared the air, there won’t be any awkward questions for the future.” I said.

“Yeah.” Baekho agreed and grinned. “Thanks for telling us. Just don’t check me out when we dance alright?” Adrian laughed and pushed the other, shaking his head.

“I have eyes for only one man, you’re all safe.” Adrian said and chuckled.

“How?” JR suddenly asked, staring at Adrian. “How can you say something like that? And how can you all just be so…accepting?” he asked.

“JR.” Minhyun whispered, brows furrowed, worriedly. “Why can’t we be accepting. He’s our hyung, our friend. We should support him.”

“Support him? On being gay? But how?! It’s…it’s wrong.” JR said.

“It’s not wrong.” Aron said. “People with closed minds think it’s wrong.” He said.

“Are you saying I have a closed mind?” JR asked.

“You’re certainly acting like it.” Our American friend said, glaring at the other.

“So are you gay too then Aron?” JR asked and frowned before he turned his gaze to Minhyun. “I bet you are aren’t you? That’s what that whole talk was about wasn’t it? Trying to feel me out?” he asked. I was confused on what he was saying at first. It had been a few months since that incident. But it came rushing back to me as I glanced at Minhyun’s hurt face.

“You like me or something? That’s gross Minhyun, you’re gross.” JR said and looked to Adrian. “And so are you!” he said before standing and marching from the room.

“Wow.” Adrian whispered, watching JR leave. “This is exactly why I said I think this is going to ruin how you all view me.”

“It doesn’t. He’s just not as open as the rest of us.” Baekho said and patted Adrian’s shoulder. “He just needs time.”

“Minnie?” Aron asked.

We all turned, eyes landing on our friend, watching as the tears fell from his eyes. I felt my heart breaking for the other. Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, rubbing his back gently.

“It’s alright Minhyun.” I whispered. “It’ll be alright.” I knew he wanted to protest, to say it wasn’t going to be alright. I wouldn’t blame him; I would probably say that too if I were in that situation. But he was just so worked up; he couldn’t make a sound but the sobs that left him.

“Minnie.” Aron whispered. He looked so pain, watching Minhyun cry and I knew he was. He liked the other so much. And now, Minhyun’s crush had been brought to light and he had been so horribly rejected and shunned. It was painful and humiliating. He stood and moved around us. Crouching down, he reached out and rubbed his back a bit before pulling the other from me, towards him.

“It’s alright Minnie.” He said softly. “Let hyung take care of you.” He whispered. He pulled the other up and guided him from the room, leaving the three of us alone in our thoughts. The silence was deafening and my thoughts were just racing. I didn’t understand how JR could be so closed minded, how he could just openly hurt and humiliate not just a group member, but a friend.

“Don’t be upset with JR.” Adrian said, as if reading my thoughts. “Some people react differently to this sort of news. Most people come around eventually. If this is something he’s never had to deal with before, it’s going to shock him, upset him and even disgust him.” He said.

“But it shouldn’t. He shouldn’t treat friends like this.” I said and glared at the wall.

“Ren, he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it. For some, acting in such a way helps them cope. It pushes them away from everything, so they can take the time to sit back and wrap their head around the issue. If JR is truly a good leader, and a caring friend, he’ll come around. He may not like it, but he’ll tolerate it because he’ll still want to keep the friendship and the peace.” He said. “It’ll take some time though.”

Time…Time is not what we had going for us. And time ran out for JR the moment those words left his lips. How Minhyun is going to recover from this, I don’t know. But I do know my friend has four people who care a lot about him and would be there to help him through the grieving process.

Though we’ve lost time, in a way, only time will heal a broken heart.

~*~*~

“Hyung I want that one!” Minhyun said in his best aegyo voice.

“Hyung I want that one!” Aron pointed, do his best aegyo voice.

“Hyung, I want that one!” Baekho said with his best aegyo voice, and unfortunately, it was a fail. I thought it was cute, how Aron and Minhyun were clinging to Adrian, coaxing the man to buy us food. But I didn’t feel that way as I watched Baekho do it. It was strange. I felt…jealous almost.

“I think you’re all just trying to mooch off of me.” Adrian teased and bopped Baekho on the nose lightly, making him laugh. I felt my blood run cold and this sudden wave a jealousy raced through me. I couldn’t stop myself (though I’m not sure I wanted to).  Moving over, I took hold of Baekho’s arm and nuzzled his shoulder, pouting cutely at him.

“Hyung never buys me anything.”

He stared at me, frozen in his spot. I thought maybe I had failed at my aegyo, but that was near impossible. I was feminine and I was the maknae, I was ing cute! He laughed suddenly and leaned down, kissing my forehead.

“Rennie’s so cute.” He cooed. “Hyung will buy you something. What do you want?” he asked. I looked to the board, trying to ignore the blush on my cheeks.

“I want that.” I told him, pointing at the item.

“Okay.” He said and turned. “Hyung! Rennie wants that!” he said and pointed to the screen and I laughed. That kiss, for some reason just felt so different. It felt, good. Why? Why was I feeling that way suddenly? Why was I jealous when someone else was playing with Baekho? What did this all mean?

I’m not sure, but I think I know who I can ask about it.