What is this… I barely dated Hoya for a day and I’m already avoiding him… I called in sick today and I sneak out of the house before I could even see Hoya. What a girlfriend I am… I walked along the streets of Myeongdong, kicking the stones out of the way. My finger toyed with my phone that’s in my cardigan pocket as I thought about the previous conversation that Hoya texted me.

“Are you okay? I heard from Gyu hyung that you called in sick.”

“Sorry…”

“It’s okay… I get it you need more time right? I mean you’re…”

I left him hanging there. I didn’t know what to reply him at all… Letting out a soft sigh, I walked into a nearby cafe to grab a bite. I was so crazed up about rushing out that I forgot all about breakfast. I sat in the corner that’s right beside a wall of polaroids with all of their customers. I ordered a mug of hot chocolate and cheesecake. I looked up at the wall as I waited for the hot chocolate to cool when my eyes landed on something. A polaroid. No. It’s not just any polaroid. It’s me… And a boy… But his face for cutted off so you can only see the back of his head and we looked really closed together. He had his left arm swing around my shoulder and I was smiling really happily. Then I spotted something, he’s wearing a ring on his ring finger and so is mine… He’s the guy that I’ve been looking for…

“Excuse me…” I asked, when a waitress came up and set the cheesecake in front of me. “That polaroid…” I trailed off, pointing at it as I looked at her curiously.

“Ah those? It’s taken every time during special events for couple! But only one couple will be chosen!” she smile, looking at it. “Ah! Ain’t you that girl?” she asked, pointing at the polaroid that my picture is in. “You guys are the first couple to be chosen for Christmas!” she smile brightly. “Where’s your boyfriend?” she asked, looking around.

“Ah… I lose contact with him… I haven’t heard from him for 5 years…” I said, looking down, “Do you happen to have the guy’s picture?” I asked, pointing at him.

“Ah no… He didn’t like taking pictures and you almost cried from asking to do it… That’s the only picture we have of you guys…” she said in an apologetic tone.

“Ah ne… Thanks…” I smile lightly before she walked off. So we’ve been here before… After I finished the food, I started going around in another journey.  I was walking along the street when I spotted Myungsoo from a far. “Myungsoo!” I called, running over to him.

“Ah? What are you doing here?” he asked, turning to look at me. He’s in glasses. Guess he just finished his lesson? But what lesson does he have? I thought he graduated already? “Hyuna-ah?” he called, waving his hands in front of my eyes.

“Ne?” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at him. “I was walking around… I didn’t know how to face…” I trailed off when I realise that he doesn't know that I’m dating Hoya now. He raised his eyebrow up curiously at me when I stopped suddenly but he filled it in for me.

“Hoya?”

“Ah ne… How did you know?” I asked, looking at him shock.

“Hoya told me of course! He was over the moon!” he replied my answer that instead made me feel guiltier x100… Maybe a billion… He’s happy but I’m here avoiding him… “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, looking down at me. “Hey, where are you crying?” he asked, flustered.

I couldn’t stop my train of thoughts. He’s happy that I’m dating him, but I couldn’t let go of my past. Not even a book! I wanted to throw the book away yesterday. I did… But I just couldn’t bring myself to do so… My heart was hurting so badly. I’m not even exaggerating of this! Everything just hurt so bad…

I looked around my surroundings when Myungsoo pushed me to sit down. We’re in a park, facing a pond. “What’s wrong?” his gentle voice asked.

Myungsoo’s POV

I felt her rested her head on shoulder, causing me to tense up slightly, but I relax after she started speaking. “Oppa, you know right?” she asked softly in her husky voice that’s being masked by the water that’s in her nose after all the tears. “That I was trying to find my memory… Finding my memory is one thing… The most important thing, I want to find that guy… The guy that promised to meet me when I lay my eyes on a winter rose next. I’ve been searching for 10 years… He’s never there…” she choked out as tears started coming more. I placed my hand on her back subconsciously and started rubbing her back in slow circles.

“Is that why you come back to Seoul?” I managed to get it out after a while.

“Ne… I thought maybe… just maybe I would be able to find him in Seoul…” she said sadly as she gripped my arm tightly. “But no… I didn’t… I dated Hoya for my own selfishness. I thought that maybe if I were to spend more time with him, I would give up on my past…” she started sobbing, her words became hard to make out .. But I was there in the past, none of her habit changed so her words still made sense to me.

“I couldn’t… It’s barely a day… And I’m avoiding him. I wanted to throw away the notebook that I kept since my past, but I couldn’t… My heart just hurt so badly when I tried to…” she was unable to continue with her words as she started having hipcupps. Seeing her like this, just ache my heart so badly. I wanted to shout at her and tell her how I am the one… I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to let her feel happy… But I can’t… I pulled her closer to me and looked ahead sadly.

Hyuna… I’m sorry… Seeing you like this… But this is better than you ended up not having any relatives that you can trust… It’ll get better… I rested my chin on top of her head as she pulled me closer to her for a tighter hug.

“Are you feeling better?” I asked when she finally stopped crying. She looked up at me with a slightly puffy eyes and face filled with tear stains. “C’mon, let’s go and get you something warm to eat… You should be drained after all this crying…” I patted her face dry before pulling her along with me.

“I don’t wanna walk…” she whine, walking slowly making me pull her along. “Piggyback me…” she whine, shaking my arm slightly. I let out a sigh and passed her my sling bag. The frown on her face is replaced by a cute smile as she took the bag from my hand and quickly hopping onto my back. “Where are we going?” she asked as she rested her chin on my shoulder.

“You can make a guess!” I smile as I continued walking down the roads, earning some envy look from the girls. And then them hitting their boyfriend angrily.

“We’re going to have jjampong?” I heard her said happily before she jumped off my back and pulled me into the store.

Hyuna’s POV

Jjampong~ I love this noodle so much! I like to have it whenever I’m feeling sad… Cause it reminds me of my parents… Usually people would be real scared to go to anything that’s related to them… But not for me… That’s the only memory I have of them… Whenever I’m upset, umma will always cooked my favorite dish… Which is jjampong… But how does Myungsoo know?

I sat opposite of him, watching him ordered. After he ordered, he laid the napkins neatly. Before placing the utensils down onto the napkin, he wipe it with a wet paper that he produced from his bag. This is all the things that I’ll do when I waited for the food to come… Since sometime the utensils would be oily if the cleaners didn’t wash it… I guess he’s just like me…

The noodles finally came! He’s having japchae while he ordered jjampong for me. My drinks is cold milk while his is a glass of ice lemonade. Did I tell her that I needed milk? No one really order milk for me… But… I would need the milk at the end… “Let’s eat!” he said as he picked up his chopstick, “You want to get bubble tea later?” he asked, looking up. “Maybe some crepe?” he smile.

The two things he mentioned is just… My favorite food to eat when I’m down… Something that would cheer up in a split second…  Maybe it’s just pure luck. I pushed the thought away, flashing him a smile and nodded my head happily.

Myungsoo’s POV

These food… I watched as she gulped down the cold milk after eating a few mouthful of the noodle. I never get her… She can’t stand spicy food but she like it the most… Bubble tea and crepe is the best food to cheer her up… Cheer up Hyuna… Things will get better soon… I can’t promise that, but I will try my best to make it work.

A rather short chapter~ But I want to update something! :D Hope you guys enjoy it! Last update, I replied comments asking people 'What they would do if they're Hyuna.." Well, I want you guys to answer me! What would you guys do if you're Hyuna? Please comment and tell me~ Reading comments from you guys is the best way to get my energy!~