I was living under the people like a normal human. No one knew what I actually was, I even had a job at a bar. I could control myself so good that I never had any hardships while walking through Seoul or when I was working.

I was trying to be as human as I could. I brushed my teeth every day, ate every day, drank every day.

For me delicious food was now tasting like real garbage. It was disgusting but when I was around people I didn’t had to think about what I was doing. And after a while I got used to it. The only kind of food that still tasted good was fruit. Of course I ate that every day.

Although I was almost living as a human I got bored all the time. So I studied, and now I know almost every language I ever wanted to speak.  As a vampire you learn quick and think quick so even when I got all the time I wanted, learning something was very easy.

The only thing I had the most trouble with…was killing people.

I hate being a disgusting hating monster but I had no other choice than drinking someone’s blood.

There was my job slightly useful for, I mean picking people. At the bar you meet many people and their story’s. They trusted me all because that’s what humans are attractive to. Me, I was a vampire and had a stunning beauty flowed over my body. People trusted me like I was one of their friends, not knowing why they trusted me and what I was able to do. But these times it was useful. Because of their story’s you could tell who didn’t wanted to live anymore or who didn’t deserve to live anymore. The last one was really hard for me. It was like playing God, deciding who deserves to live and who deserves to die. I was playing with lives and I hated that. But then again, I had no choice.

If I didn’t do that one day I will lose control and eat a whole city. Of course I didn’t want that to happen so I stayed with my current plan. Every night when I was done with my shift and chose my victim I waited or could just walk away with him or her. Sometimes they made it so easy for me. Then I would as if they wanted a ride home and just said yes. Other times I had to wait outside in the dark for my victim, or some nights I had just bad luck.

If I was around with my victim we would just talk and walk or drive until we were at a silent place. Then I would just cover their eyes. Some people were scared if I did that, others were too drunk to notice anything. Now was the worst part, I say sorry and break their neck in a quick strong movement. It was a ritual to me, I didn’t want my victims to see a monster coming at them and feel the terrifying pain when they put their fangs into your soft skin. Instead I apologized and killed them before my eyes changed color and my fangs showed up. They were killed by a vampire in a…peaceful way I guess. Well, I did know they were lucky to have me as a vampire. Others torture their victims and play a sick game with them. Humans were scared to death before they would actually die.

Although I knew I was killing bad people, criminals, drugs dealers and drugs addicted and so on, they didn’t deserve to die like that.

So that is how I practically live. I said before when time would be ready I would send a letter to my mom. I did when I thought time was ready. For years we were able to talk to each other through letter. She wanted to see me she said always, so every letter included a printed picture of me.

The first letter I got as response from my first letter was heartbreaking. I wanted to hug her so much and be there for her. She wasn’t mad at me why I didn’t let anything hear from me, she was rather happy I was still alive. Even when I told her we couldn't see each other. Every week I wrote a letter and got a letter. I even got to talk to my brother  through my mom. That didn’t made me feel so alone. Because yeah, I indeed had a job and colleagues, and people who tried to communicate with me at library’s and stuff. I became a very cold person because of what happened to me. I could act like nothing happened and be a very nice person but I still kind of hated people. I didn’t really hate them, it’s just easier without them sometimes.

People became older around me, and so did my mom and my brother. When my mom died I was devastated, I knew this was coming but it was still hard. And even harder that I couldn’t come at the funeral. It was a consolation that she knew how I lived and that I really loved her because of the letter we wrote. I did went to her grave from time to time to cry my heart out and apologize for everything. And for my lies. She never got to know I became a vampire so that was what I told when I visited her grave for the first time. I told her everything from the beginning to now and hoped she would understand everything now and accept why everything was like it was.

I was still living as a human and writing letters to my brother until time had passed and he died too. Again those hardships I was going through for the second time. Now I was really all alone except a couple family members I barely knew. Luckily I lived alone a long time so it wasn’t anything new, they were in my not beating heart anyways. I also went to my brothers grave from time to time and also told him the whole truth. I was relieved after that. The people I loved could now rest in peace and live happy in heaven. They now knew both the truth of the how and why.

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OKAY F*** THIS SH**... I'm just posting anyways xD sorry for grammar mistakes :(

sheesus my behaviour...I'm such a dork ^^ But I couldn't wait for tomorrow to post chapter 2 and since you have to wait quite long for Super Junior to come up I just decided to post chapter 2 :D

I'm sorry that you have to wait but next chapter there will be a slight beginning... can't say more though kkk

Please bear with me ~~

AND OMYY I never thought I would get ANY subscribers but I have 4 XD compared to other stories it's nothing but to me it means a lot !!! SO THANK YOU DEARS

And of course,, THANK YOU readers ^^ I really appreciate it :)

Annyeong!~~~~ Have a nice day ya'll