Thirteen - The Girl You Left Behind
The Girl You Left Behind
{Thirteen}
You laid under your covers, ready to sleep. Today was just weird, and confusing.
Luhan holding your arm, treating you to ice cream and then wiped ice cream smudges off your nose. It was all so perfect. He was perfect, everything was so perfect.
Furthermore, Luhan confessed to you, and you accepted. Only because you did the same thing with all the other guys. He was just like the other guys. You convinced yourself, Luhan was just like Kwangmin or Gyuhoon or all the other boyfriends you had.
However the only thing different was that he was someone you knew, and someone you liked and admired since you were a kid.
Now you would have to spend time with him until he got tired of you, all the adrenaline died down before he leaves you.
Just like Kwangmin, and all the other boyfriends you had.
You thought sadly. You had to control yourself, your desires, your greed. You had to remember you had no feelings, no choices.
How to stop all those feelings from coming out when spending time with him? How to stop falling deeper for him?
How to stop when your only goal was to go on?
You were just a girl whom boys left behind. You were just an abandoned partner, an old shoe that people discarded.
But what happened if the first person who discarded you found you again? Just like an abused dog who met its first owner again?
You ruffled your hair frustratingly as you huffed. How do you even get out of this mess?
Stop messing and giving me hope, Luhan.
What have you done, Hyojin, to get into such a mess? You thought and chided yourself.
Luhan sat at his bed. He thought of what had happened today. He confessed, well 'confessed' so he could get on with his little plan.
He was really nervous when he waited for your answer, like the whole story was true.
You widened your eyes first, which he found extremely kid-like.
Then as you fidgeted, he grew more and more nervous.
When you rejected him, a part of him felt abandoned.
When you finally accepted him, he felt proud and extreme happiness.
Basically, you just took him on an emotional roller coaster ride. Not that it was bad though.
His smile grew as he remembered you squealing happily at the ice cream display. It was like you as a kid again, something that he had missed so dearly, and that was why he was doing all these to help you. To help you find back your young self.
The way he unconsciously took the napkin and wiped the smudge off. Was that why you were angry? Because he was too close to you? He internally regretted his decisions. He thought it was alright since you had so many boyfriends before and you should not be as sensitive now.
He was wrong, no matter how many boyfriends you had, every time something like this happened, they just laughed and threw you a napkin, which you embarrassedly took and wiped it by yourself.
No one had done it before, not before Luhan.
Luhan realised he was judging you, and stereotyping. He quickly erased his thoughts and chided himself.
Why do you have to be so complicated, Hyojin? What had you become when I was gone?
Luhan holding your arm, treating you to ice cream and then wiped ice cream smudges off your nose. It was all so perfect. He was perfect, everything was so perfect.
Furthermore, Luhan confessed to you, and you accepted. Only because you did the same thing with all the other guys. He was just like the other guys. You convinced yourself, Luhan was just like Kwangmin or Gyuhoon or all the other boyfriends you had.
However the only thing different was that he was someone you knew, and someone you liked and admired since you were a kid.
Now you would have to spend time with him until he got tired of you, all the adrenaline died down before he leaves you.
Just like Kwangmin, and all the other boyfriends you had.
You thought sadly. You had to control yourself, your desires, your greed. You had to remember you had no feelings, no choices.
How to stop all those feelings from coming out when spending time with him? How to stop falling deeper for him?
How to stop when your only goal was to go on?
You were just a girl whom boys left behind. You were just an abandoned partner, an old shoe that people discarded.
But what happened if the first person who discarded you found you again? Just like an abused dog who met its first owner again?
You ruffled your hair frustratingly as you huffed. How do you even get out of this mess?
Stop messing and giving me hope, Luhan.
What have you done, Hyojin, to get into such a mess? You thought and chided yourself.
Luhan sat at his bed. He thought of what had happened today. He confessed, well 'confessed' so he could get on with his little plan.
He was really nervous when he waited for your answer, like the whole story was true.
You widened your eyes first, which he found extremely kid-like.
Then as you fidgeted, he grew more and more nervous.
When you rejected him, a part of him felt abandoned.
When you finally accepted him, he felt proud and extreme happiness.
Basically, you just took him on an emotional roller coaster ride. Not that it was bad though.
His smile grew as he remembered you squealing happily at the ice cream display. It was like you as a kid again, something that he had missed so dearly, and that was why he was doing all these to help you. To help you find back your young self.
The way he unconsciously took the napkin and wiped the smudge off. Was that why you were angry? Because he was too close to you? He internally regretted his decisions. He thought it was alright since you had so many boyfriends before and you should not be as sensitive now.
He was wrong, no matter how many boyfriends you had, every time something like this happened, they just laughed and threw you a napkin, which you embarrassedly took and wiped it by yourself.
No one had done it before, not before Luhan.
Luhan realised he was judging you, and stereotyping. He quickly erased his thoughts and chided himself.
Why do you have to be so complicated, Hyojin? What had you become when I was gone?
Author's Note :
HELLO! Sorry for the late update! I have been busy lately, hopefully that this chapter isn't that crappy >< comment and subscribe ^^
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