“You know I like her.”

Luhan  reaction was unexpected, he actually started laughing, softly at first but then got more and more uncontrollable. “Aigoo, aigooo, please tell me you’re joking! I mean I know you flirt with anyone attractive but Eun Bi told me you had a girlfriend.”

Kai froze and his mouth dropped, “She told you what?”

“That you have a girlfriend? I mean that’s why I thought it was weird taking her to your party an-”

Kai took a step away from Luhan, his whole entire body strained with tension. His anger was now, no longer directed towards Luhan. Kai was starting to stalk off in search of your roommate but before he did he turned around and pointed at Luhan as he said, “I don’t have a girlfriend!!”

You immediately started dancing right after Luhan left. Your mind shut out any emotion once the door clicked shut and your body started responding to the beats of the music once more. You could tell it would be a sleepless night, or close to it. The only solution that came to your mind was to dance until your body was about to give out from exhaustion.

You felt so guilty for missing dance practice today and you really wanted to get back to the root of why you were here. Why you traveled so many miles to get here. And the most important, why you were handed this amazing and generous opportunity.

You didn’t want to let a boy ruin that. But he’s not just “a boy”. You’ve never felt like this before…

Now, maybe you had to ignore yourself too. Your brain wouldn’t shut up with all it’s confusing rationalization.

****

It was now an hour before class would start. You literally spent the whole entire night dancing. Practicing the dance that was would be your turmoil, the one with Kai. You went over and over it until you felt like you knew it like you knew the ABC’s. Only stopping when you needed to take a sip of water, which was the only thing you could stomach. Everything about Kai and Eun Bi and Luhan made you nauseous. Nothing makes sense.

Keeled over in the corner of the room, you were attempting to gather yourself so you weren’t such a mess when practice started. Your teeth were gritted as you were heaving in deep breaths, trying to steady your heart rate from the intense and constant cardio.

“He doesn’t mean anything to you. He doesn’t mean anything to you. He doesn’t care.” you whispered over and over again, eyes squeezed closed.

Picking yourself up from the wooden floor, you turned off the stereo and gathered whatever items you brought with. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you tried to recognize the figure that was looking back at you. You couldn’t. You felt drained of all energy. You took a couple steps forward so your nose was almost touching the mirror. Staring into your eyes, you searched for any of the endless strength and determination you came here with.

You could see nothing. Vacancy. Numbness. Isolation.

Your mind flashed back to your audition, and how proud your parents were of you when you got accepted in and not only that, but a full-ride scholarship also.

Something suddenly sparked in your eyes, something made them alive and vibrant for that instant. You knew then, that you couldn’t give up. You had to keep going forward. For yourself and your parents.

HI LOVIES!!! :)

It feels SO good to be writing again, I love it. I've missed it so much AND you!
Thank you all for the encouraging comments to keep continuing this story. I'm really writing for you guys. :)
This is super short but I wanted to get something out before I leave for a bit again.
However~ I'm already starting on my next chapter and want to contine working on it in my spare time. 

Enjoy!

<3- Minji