A/N: this chapter is about Sungyeol and Myung's past , i hope i didn't make it complicated and you can unerstand it >.<

*Sungyeol’s pov*

The day I met Myung was a day where cherry blossoms are still blooming.

“Mrs Lee , your daughter’s condition is not very good , you can’t leave!”

She said coldly “He is only pale , don’t make a fuss about it!”

“But” The nurse can’t take it anymore “He is your son!”

“He is alive because he is my son , if he came from some poor family , he would be dead right now. He should be happy about it instead of giving me troubles like this!” with that she walked away.

On the bed , Sungyeol has no emotions on his face , not sad , not angry he doesn’t even feel pain.

It will be better if I am not born.

It would be better if I can just die like that.

If I never exist , my existence can just disappear , that would be great.

“What are you doing squatting here , are you looking at ants?” A boy walked towards me looking very curious “I notice that you have been squatting here for a long time , aren’t you tired?”

“Not looking at ants. Not tired.” I replied mechanically

“If you are not looking at ants , then why are you squatting here?” The boy became more curious and squatted down trying to figure out what else is on the floor except for ants , petals and grass.

“I am , sunbathing.”

“There is no sun here , it is all blocked by this tree.” The boy said

“The nurses said , Sungyeol must , take a , sunbath here.”

“Your name is Sungyeol?” The boy chuckled “The way you speak is so funny , let’s be friends , alright?”

“Friends?” I asked

“Friends are , whom you play with, laugh together and cry together and shares secrets together.” He explained to me “From today onwards ,we are friends.”

I am still figuring out what the word ‘friends’ means “Myung’s friend.”

Myung not only became my friend , he also became my guardian. He taught me a lot of things like how to speak properly and bringing me out to play.

One day he told me about a boy.

He is the only one that can make me sad , he is the only one that can make me happy. He knows all of me , good and bad. I only belongs to him.”

I sat there listening intensely “What is he like?”

“him?” Thinking of the boy , Myung’s expression became very gentle “He is a very fragile person.”

“Fragile?” I asked

“Yes , even though he look very strong and stubborn , but he is more fragile than anyone else, he needs to be protected and loved more than anyone else.”

I don’t know why, I don’t like the person Myung is talking about. He took up all of Myung’s feelings, Myung’s longing thoughts, He is such a blissed person but he is so fragile.

“ Oh , when I found him , let’s go meet him together, I bet he will like you , you are very alike

Alike? I turned and walked away silently .

….. not alike… I am different from that person that needs to be protected , I am different!

The next day , he came and chat with me again.

“Actually , I have a brother.” Myung said

“Brother?”

“Brother is that someone that is the closet with you except for your parents.” He explained.

“Will your brother smile?”

“No” he replied sadly

“Why?”

“It’s because , he doesn’t know my existence.” He said sadly “Hyung is the light , a light that cannot be dirtied , but me , I am an existence that will dirty the light.”

He smiled sadly , That smile I don’t want to see it again

I need to attend a party orgarnized by some other rich families and there I saw Kim Myungsoo , Myung’s brother… after a performance by him , everyone crowded around him to praise him and all but the next minute he was left alone at a corner smiling , but he look so sad. I walked over and said “You are not the light.”

He look shock at what I just said.