Chapter 15 – Digging Her Own Grave

 

 

If anyone saw Yonghwa walking his usual path to school that morning they would think he was definitely smoking some kind of drug. Instead of his slow, bored shuffle in which he dragged his feet ever so sluggishly across the sidewalk, he walked with a cheerful step that even included a slight bounce. It was strange to see such a grouchy and angry person walk with that kind of stride, but so far nobody had confronted him about it. He himself couldn’t even tell that he was walking like that. He would surely deny it if anyone asked him about it, but the facts would still be there. Yonghwa took out the expensive piece of plastic called a phone from his pocket and flashed it a small smile. Ever since the short conversation he had with Uee , or who he thought was Uee, he was the happiest person in the world.

“Well aren’t you happy today,” Hara teased. The cute and amazingly thin girl knew exactly why he was like that. For Yonghwa, there was only one thing that could make him happy and that was his love Uee. The girl desperately tried to hide the uneasiness she felt at the situation or else Yonghwa would find out sooner than he should of. In her mind she even contemplated telling him now just to get it over with. As Seohyun’s friend, however, she realized that it was up to Seohyun to clean up the broken shards of their friendship when he found out.

“Hey Hara, how’s it going?” Yonghwa greeted in a voice that almost sounded pleasant to her ears. Hara was left speechless and with open so wide that flies would surely be able to go into. Had Jung Yonghwa just greeted her? She checked the day on her phone quickly just to make sure that it wasn’t December 21, 2012. The world had to be ending soon for her to ever live to see the day that Yonghwa greeted her like that.

“Did you get hit in the head too hard when you got beat up? Or perhaps are you on a ton of painkillers at the moment?” Hara questioned, still in disbelief of what she just heard.

“I’m taking something for the pain but it’s not too strong. And no, I didn’t get hit too hard. Hara, you’re the one that’s on drugs right now,” he jested in response. “I don’t know why you would think that, but I assure you that’s not the case. Comon, we’ll be late to class if we stand out here.” Yonghwa resumed his happy step towards the school, leaving the stunned girl behind to try to figure him out.

“Seohyun… you’re digging your own grave here,” Hara said to nobody in particular. There was no doubt in her mind that he was happy because of his conversations with ‘Uee.’ Hara knew that when Yonghwa found out that it was really Seohyun behind that phone he would be absolutely furious. If Seohyun didn’t stop now, she would dig herself into a hole that nobody could get her out of.

While Hara stood outside in the chilly October morning weather, Yonghwa made his way into the school with the out of character smile on his face. He stuck his hand in his pocket and the phone gently, as if thanking it for giving him something to smile about. There were still a few minutes left before his first class so he decided to thank Uee personally for the phone. Before he could make his way towards the locker that belonged to the girl of his dreams, the phone in his hand vibrated.

 

- Hey, I know this is going to sound weird, but don’t bring up the phone with anyone at school. Pretend like you don’t have it at all. – Yu Jin

- Huh, Why? – Yonghwa

- I know it sounds selfish of me, but please just don’t tell anyone. Even to me, just pretend like I know nothing about it. Don’t give anyone your number or even let them see the phone. – Yu Jin

- I don’t see the problem, but I’ll do what you say. Well, I’ll see ya around. – Yonghwa

- Thanks :D – Yu Jin

 

Yonghwa was a little confused as to why Uee would want him to hide his phone, but she must have had her reasons. He was too busy laughing at the little smiley face she had given him in the last text to try to figure it out. Seohyun, who was impersonating Uee over the phone, was taking this as a precaution to keep Yonghwa from finding out too quickly. She wanted to be the one to tell him and it would be very problematic if he found out on his own. From around the corner, a few steps away from Yonghwa, she stood quietly in hope that one day her lie would be found out without any problems.

“Yonghwa! Bro! What’s up man?” Taecyeon bellowed in his usual manner towards Yonghwa. Usually Yonghwa would avoid the manly hug that Taecyeon would give him, but today he decided to let Taecyeon go through with his routine. Even Taecyeon, one of the densest and insensitive people in the world, noticed that Yonghwa was acting strange.

“Nothing much, just dreading going to math. Shi seonsaeng makes me want to gouge my eyes out,” Yonghwa replied in an unusually normal way. Taecyeon, like Hara, was left speechless. Jung Yonghwa barely even looked their way when they talked, much less respond in a complete sentence. Even Taecyeon could tell something was up.

“Dude, are your meds too strong for you? You’re acting weird as hell today,” Taecyeon pointed out.

“Nah, I’m fine. I’ll see you in English class. Later.” Yonghwa gave a gesture of farewell which Taecyeon weakly reciprocated.

“Annyeong Taecyeon,” Seohyun greeted as she finally stepped out of hiding. “Are you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Taecyeon turned slowly to look at Seohyun while still waving his hand in the direction that the usually angry boy walked in.

“Seohyun, did Yonghwa get laid or something?” Taecyeon asked in disbelief. “He’s acting weird as hell and it’s a little creepy to be honest. He smiled, he let me hug him, and he even responded in a sentence more than two words long.” Seohyun almost laughed at Taecyeon’s reaction. It hurt her a little to think that Yonghwa was that happy because he thought he was talking to Uee. She wished that a smile was on his face because of her and not Uee, but she couldn’t change that now. Seohyun was happy that she was able to make him smile, even if she did have to lie to him.

“I don’t really know. I haven’t talked to him since we got back. I wouldn’t really know what to tell you,” lied Seohyun. She knew all too well the reason for his strange behavior, but she couldn’t let anyone else in on it. Luckily for her Taecyeon was too dense to try and figure it out, but it worried her that Yonghwa would give himself away. Hara already knew, and it was only a matter of time before other people started to figure it out too. If Uee found out, Seohyun would be epically screwed. “Taecyeon, I’ll be heading to class now, bye.”

“Alright, bye Seohyun…” he mumbled, still in a shock from Yonghwa’s response.

Math class was the same as Seohyun remembered it. The students sat quietly in the neatly arranged desks as they waited for the last bell to ring. Shi seonsaeng read her usual newspaper before the class started, occasionally taking a few seconds to glare at a student that grew too loud for her tastes. There was one thing that she did find different. The seat two rows from the front where Yonghwa sat was occupied by a different person entirely. Typically, a bored person with his head laid on the desk sat in that chair before class began. Today, there was a student that looked the same, but had on a somewhat eager expression.

“Yonghwa-shi, did you find the answer to question 10 on the warm up?” a daring student asked. People ordinarily refrained from approaching Yonghwa due to his not so pleasant responses, but it seemed like a good day to finally get an answer from him.

“Yeah, it was rather annoying with all the negative numbers in there, but I found that it works out still. You just have to use the linearization which is y= f(a) + f’(a)(x-a) and plug in the x₀ and x values in. In the end I got a value of 5,” he explained calmly to the clueless boy. Now Seohyun realized the severity of the situation. It also showed her how desperate he was when it came to Uee. If after a few text conversations he was that happy, he must really like her. She knew she was dead the second he found out. Seohyun was seriously contemplating telling him about it, but the fear of losing a friend kept her from doing so.

“Did you just help someone in math?” Seohyun asked. “Yonghwa what’s wrong? Something is up and you can’t lie to me about it, I can read you like a book.” Yonghwa turned his attention from the piece of paper on his desk to the girl that sat next to him.

“Hmm, no I don’t think anything is wrong. I see you’re as annoying as always,” Yonghwa pointed out. It was the same reaction he always had, but a different feeling. He didn’t sound as annoyed as he usually did, but at least he was treating her the same way.

“I take that back, you’re still a jerk. Anyways, everyone thinks you’re acting weird today. Taecyeon and Hara were basically left speechless from when you talked to them. Care to tell me why?” She knew well why he was acting that way, but she wanted to hear it from his mouth.

“Nothing is wrong. Just mind your own business and do your work. I’m fine and no I’m not taking any sort of drugs, before you ask.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Okay guys, I’m in deep trouble,” Seohyun whined to her best friends. School was over and went by with relatively no problems. Other than Yonghwa being a complete weirdo that day, there seemed to be no risk of her getting found out.

“What’s wrong now?” asked Yoona. Hara had given her the quick version of the situation Seohyun got herself into so she didn’t really know what to expect. Hara on the other hand knew exactly what Seohyun was going to talk about.

“Yonghwa is taking this a little too far. I know that he really likes Uee, but is it really that big of a deal?” Seohyun questioned. “I mean, we all have liked someone before and we know what it feels like, but why does it worry me that he is getting too happy about this.”

“He’s hasn’t really had anyone or anything to look forward to in life,” Hara began yet another one of her analyses. “I don’t really know why he likes her or how it started, but since this seems like his first time liking someone, he must feel really excited about it. When someone grows up with that kind of feeling, you’ll experience it a lot more when you finally do feel it. Seohyun, you’ve already crossed the line with this and you plan on doing it more?” In truth Hara was angry and disappointed with Seohyun. Seohyun may be making Yonghwa happier, but it was through lies and deceit.

“Hara, don’t be so hard on her. You said it yourself, people get excited over love. While I don’t approve of the methods she’s using, Seohyun is just giving into her feelings,” Yoona defended. Seohyun knew that Hara was right, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Yonghwa. After that incident with Seung Ri, she couldn’t bear to be yelled at again by the person she liked.

“Seohyun, unless you’re planning on telling Yonghwa the truth anytime soon, don’t ask me for help,” Hara stated coldly. “I know you like him a lot, but even you know you’re screwing with his life in a way that is unforgivable. If you keep this up, I’m not going to help you. I’ll see you guys later.” Hara angrily stomped out of the large room Yoona lived in and slammed the door loudly.

“Aish, what the hell is her deal?” Yoona asked in an annoyed voice.

“Leave her alone Yoona, she has all the right to be angry at me. Ugh, why did I get myself into this mess?” Seohyun stood up from the small stool she was sitting in and threw herself on the giant pink bed forcefully.

“What do you plan on doing? If you tell Yonghwa, you’re going to get eaten alive. Well, I don’t really know. This could really go in ways we can’t imagine,” Yoona reasoned. Seohyun was confused as to what Yoona meant and stared at her expectantly. She was glad Yoona was trying to help her out but she knew that Hara was 100% right, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. “This hasn’t really gotten serious yet has it? You’ve pretty much only greeted each other over texts. As long as you tell him before you start getting into deeper stuff, you should be fine.”

“Well, that makes sense. If I can keep the conversations limited to small greetings as I usually have, then there’s no reason to be angry. If we don’t talk about anything that is important to him, then we should be fine right?” Seohyun asked in denial. That explanation of the situation was a twisted way to view it but it made sense in Seohyun and Yoona’s minds.

“Exactly! As long as you keep it simple, you’ll be able to tell him and he won’t get mad. It’s not like impersonating Uee to greet him a few times is a crime right?” Yoona reasoned.

“I guess you’re right. Thanks for helping me Yoona, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it, that’s what friends are for.”

“I think I’m going to head home for now,” Seohyun stated while standing up. “I’ll call Hara later to apologize to her. Don’t be mad at her for getting angry. We both know she is right, but we just don’t want to admit it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow at school Yoona.” A quick hug was exchanged and Seohyun made her way to her large and lonely house. Luckily they lived in the wealthy gated community within a few blocks, so it was only a short walk home. She dreaded going home, but she was feeling a little too down to talk to anyone else. In any normal house, one would yell ‘I’m home’ when they arrived, but not in Seohyun’s. The house was elegantly decorated with paintings, vases, and flower arrangements that cost millions, but there was one thing missing from the elaborate and lavish house: life.

“Good afternoon Lady Seohyun, shall I prepare anything for you?” a well-dressed older man asked in a very polite voice.

“No thanks Butler Lee, I’m fine for now. Are my parents home?”

“The master called a few days ago to inform us that he shall not be arriving for at least another two weeks. I believe there were some complications with the construction of an important building belonging to a European company,” responded the polite butler. “Your esteemed mother will also be extending her stay in London. Now, shall I take my leave, or is there anything else you desire?”

“No, I’m fine thanks. Tell all the servants to take a break for a few days. You guys don’t have to stay here if there’s nothing to do. I’m not going to be around much either, so just have fun for a few days. You know how much I care for all of you and I don’t want to see you suffering here while you could be having a good time,” responded the kind girl. Butler Lee and the servants he hired were all the best workers anyone could find. Seohyun felt terrible that the small group of people were mistreated by her parents, so she took it upon herself to make their stay as pleasant as possible.

“Are you sure that will be alright my Lady? I believe that it would be against my work ethic,” the polite butler argued.

“You know you’ve raised me as if you were my grandfather and I appreciate it. I would be an ungrateful person if I couldn’t give you the rest you deserve. Please go out and have some fun. Don’t make me turn that into an order,” Seohyun giggled.

“I shall do as you say my Lady. Thank you very much for your concern.” The butler bowed deeply and made his way to the servants’ quarters to inform them of their break.

While he did that, Seohyun made her way up the large flight of stairs that was covered in a deep red carpet. As she looked around at her surroundings she realized how uncomfortable her house seemed. When she reached her room and plopped down onto her enormous bed, she remembered the feeling of sleeping in Yonghwa’s room. His bed somehow seemed twenty times better than the bed fit for a queen in her room. She didn’t know if it was because he was around, but for some reason his house felt like a real home.

“Why is this place so depressing…” she mumbled to herself. A large portrait hanging in a corner of her room caught her attention. In it were many well-dressed people, each with a genuine smile on their face. In the back of the portrait were her and another boy standing up. “Oppa, why did you go off on your own and leave me this burden? Pabo… can’t you see that I can’t deal with Mother and Father alone? Should I get married with the person I love secretly and run away like you did?” Seohyun sighed as she ran her hands across the face of her estranged brother. Before she could continue lamenting the loss of her sibling, her phone told her she had a new message.

 

- Hey, are you busy? – Yonghwa

- Not really, why? – Yu Jin

- Well I found this cool app that lets us chat instead of talking through texts. I thought it would be much easier to talk with than texting. – Yonghwa

- That sounds cool, let me find it quickly and install it. – Yu Jin

 

Seohyun rapidly found the application for her phone that Yonghwa mentioned to her and eagerly awaited for the conversation she would have with him. She completely forgot her plan to avoid speaking to him over the phone that she and Yoona planned. Within a few minutes the download and installation completed, indicated by a flash of approval from her phone.

 

Jung Yonghwa has entered the chat, Kim Yu Jin has entered the chat.

Yu Jin: Hey Yonghwa, how are you doing? I didn’t see you at school today. Are your ribs and arm feeling better? I bet you hate Seohyun for getting you in that situation.

Yonghwa: I’ve actually been feeling pretty good today. School wasn’t too bad but it was a drag as it always is. My arm feels like it’s getting better by my sides are still a little sore. I think I’ll be fine in a few more weeks. Seohyun is really freakin annoying, but I don’t hate her. She can really make me angry at times, but overall she’s not too bad. Hehe sorry about talking about her even though you don’t like her.

Yu Jin: It’s okay, I can understand. So how are you liking the phone right now? Has it helped out at all?

Yonghwa: I really appreciate you getting me the phone, it’s really cool. I haven’t really used it to talk to anyone but you since you told me to not tell people about it. I’m sure it will come in handy later though.

Yu Jin: Oh right, sorry about that. I think it’s better to keep it hidden for now at least. Think of it as wanting you all for myself ^_^.

Yonghwa: What is that supposed to mean? You mean as in…?

 

Seohyun slapped herself hard for saying that last statement. She was completely crossing the line here. If she didn’t stop now she would be getting herself into even more trouble. However, her fingers wouldn’t stop moving over the keys to respond to him. Seohyun learned that Yonghwa didn’t truly hate her from this conversation and she was too eager to find more answers from him. This was what Hara had feared, but her heart shut out the reason from her brain completely.

 

Yu Jin: Never mind that. So tell me about yourself. It seems like at school nobody really knows you. I don’t really know anything about you apart from your name and a few of your classes.

Yonghwa: Well, what do you want to know?

Yu Jin: I don’t know. Maybe little things like: Your favorite color, favorite drink, favorite food, things you like, things you hate. Things like that.

Yonghwa: Oh, hmm… well my favorite colors are green and yellow. I love eating anything that has spicy things in it. I don’t really have any hobbies or anything since I’m always working or studying. I guess you could say I like studying, but that would make me sound like a nerd hehe. There is really only one food I hate in this world and it’s cheese. I absolutely hate the stuff.

 

Yonghwa’s confession made Seohyun remember the time they went out to eat after the science fair. She remembered Seung Ri and Uee decided it was their treat since Yonghwa and Seohyun had won the first prize. Uee brought everyone a really nice sandwich and soup combo which Seohyun found delicious. She noticed that everyone’s meal was the same when she looked around. The problem in that situation was that the sandwiches had cheese in them. If Yonghwa hated cheese that much, why did he eat the sandwich?

 

Yu Jin: If you hate cheese, why did you eat it when I gave it to you the other day?

Yonghwa: What cheese? I don’t remember that.

Yu Jin: After the science fair when I brought you and Seohyun to that café. We all ate a bunch of sandwiches that I bought. All of them had a combination of sandwich meats and even a few layers of cheese. I didn’t notice you eating it with a bad expression, so I assumed you liked it.

Yonghwa: Oh that, well… it wasn’t totally terrible… Wait who am I kidding, I hated the thing. I had to eat it though since you bought it for me. I wouldn’t have been right of me to throw it away since you gave it to me as a sincere congratulations for winning the prize. How would you have felt if I hadn’t eaten it? I would think you would be mad or upset about it.

Yu Jin: Pabo! You didn’t have to eat it if you didn’t want to. Aw, now I feel bad about giving it to you.

 

The things Seohyun was reading made her want to go up to Uee and punch her in the face. Yonghwa’s naïve explanations also were enough to incite anger in her. Was Uee really THAT important to him? Why would he eat something that was like poison to him? If Uee asked him to jump off a cliff would he do that? His love for Uee was definitely a strong one, but she had still no idea why. Now that she thought about it, Yonghwa called Uee by her real name. Nobody had ever mentioned her real name to him, so how did he know?

 

Yonghwa: Oh well… anyways you should know what my favorite drink is.

Yu Jin: I do? Hmm, I don’t think you’ve ever told me. What is it?

Yonghwa: Aw, comon don’t you remember? I gave you that drink so many years back. It still is my favorite drink. It just that you didn’t get to drink it back then. Your tears would have went away the second you tasted it it.

Yu Jin: Um… I still can’t remember it. Mind telling me what it is. If it  was that long ago, then I’m sure I wouldn’t remember it.

Yonghwa: Remember back in second grade when you fell and nobody helped you out. I ran to the nurse and brought you that bandage to patch up your knee. On the way back I spent my lunch money to buy you that chocolate milk in the glass bottle. Your cute little face cleared up when I cleaned you up and handed you the milk.

Yu Jin: Oh right, I remember that.

Yonghwa: It you didn’t get to drink it though.

Yu Jin: Err, I don’t remember that.

Yonghwa: That idiot Seung Ri walked around and slapped it out of your hand. You offered to come play with you, but Seung Ri told you that I wasn’t someone worth playing with so I never got to play with you. You know, every year after that I sorta wished you were in my class. It felt kinda crappy to start a new year and not see ‘Kim Yu Jin’ on the class list.

 

“Uee and Yonghwa knew each other from second grade?” Seohyun asked herself. When she put all the pieces of the puzzle together, it all made sense. Of course Yonghwa would like someone like Uee back then. Like Hara had explained, when someone devoid of any sort of love found it, they would be very strongly attached. That’s why Yonghwa knew Uee’s real name despite nobody introducing her as Yu Jin. There was no doubt in her mind that Yonghwa truly loved Uee with all of his heart. It hurt her to think that Yonghwa thought so well of Uee, but she was also happy. Seohyun was happy that Yonghwa could feel something nice for another person amidst all his sadness and anger.

 

Yu Jin: Wow, sorry that I didn’t remember that. It was so long ago.

Yonghwa: Yeah, it’s been ten years already. But you know, I’ll never in my life forget that moment.

Yu Jin: Why is that?

Yonghwa: Because from that moment on I knew that there was hope.

Yu Jin: Hope?

Yonghwa: Yeah, hope. It made me realize that not everyone was the same. Even though everyone told you that I was something that shouldn’t be bothered with, you still tried to play with me. Even though you listened to Seung Ri that day, I knew you really did want to play with me. Sorry if I’m assuming things and you felt differently. I really did appreciate the effort you took to try and play together. Hehe, I sound like an obsessed freak right now. I hope you don’t find any of this uncomfortable or anything. If you want me to leave , I’ll go now. I don’t want you to feel awkward.

Yu Jin: No, it’s fine. I never knew you felt so strongly about me. What happened during middle school? Did we not get to see each other anymore? Sorry I have such a bad memory.

Yonghwa: I don’t blame you for not remembering. It doesn’t seem like anyone at school remembers me either. I remember a lot of people from back then, but I guess I was just that detestable that nobody bothered to even learn my name. Anyways, I moved away after 5^th grade. My mom got into some problems and she couldn’t keep me going there anymore. It wasn’t until Principal Kang gave me a chance to come to this school for free that I met up with my past.

Yu Jin: So what do you feel for me Yonghwa? I don’t know what to think any more of this situation. Don’t worry, I won’t take any of this the wrong way.

Yonghwa: Are you sure you want me to tell you that? To be honest, I like you. It sounds weird, but I do. You’re really smart, pretty, and I still remember what you did for me. I know it sounds like I’ve been obsessed with you all these years, but trust me it’s not like that. I promise I don’t have a shrine for you in my closet or anything hehe. Everyone at school tells me to watch out for you, but I don’t see it like that. I’ve never seen you do anything they say, so I’ll believe you’re innocent.

Yu Jin: Do you really like me that much? Do you really trust me that much? Even if everyone in the world tells you I’m a murderer, will you still believe I’m innocent?

Yonghwa: I don’t think that would ever happen, but I’ll still believe you. Unless I saw you kill someone with my own two eyes, I won’t think of you as a criminal.

Yu Jin: Wow, I don’t even know what to say to that.

Yonghwa: Well, you don’t have to say anything. Don’t worry, when I see you again, I’ll pretend like this never happened. What happens in this chat, stays in here.

Yu Jin: Yeah, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone.

Yonghwa: Sounds good to me. Anyways, I’m going to head over to beg my boss to let me return to work. I’m glad we had this talk, it feels like a burden has been taken of my shoulders. I was really hesitant to tell you at first, but I’m glad you didn’t take it the wrong way. I’ll talk to you later?

Yu Jin: Yeah… we’ll talk later. I’ll talk to you whenever I get a chance. Remember, none of this at school. Phone? What phone?

Yonghwa: I don’t know what you are talking about. I have no phone! Alright, I’ll stop stalling now. Talk to you later.

Yu Jin: Bye.

Jung Yonghwa has left the chat.

 

Speechless was the only word that could describe Seohyun at that moment in time. Yonghwa basically told her everything about his childhood and she had achieved that through trickery. Hara’s prediction would come true now regardless of what Seohyun did. Seohyun was dead no matter what she tried to do to get out of her situation. Yonghwa spilled his heart out to her, and when he found out that it wasn’t the love of his life, he would be furious. Although she hated herself for messing with him in that way, she felt a little happy about it. Yonghwa sounded so different when he was talking to 'Uee.' He was so lively, talkative, and playful. It was nothing like his normal personality. If only she could get him to act that way around her...

“Aish! What the hell did I just do?!” she cried desperately. There was no backing out now. She could continue lying until he found out, or she could come clean now and get it over with. Either way she would surely lose the person she loved as well as a friend that would always be there for her. Seohyun wished she could go back in time and stop herself from buying the phone. If only she hadn’t been so stupid and pretended to be Uee in the first place. Now she was stuck between a rock and a hard place and there was no getting out of it without getting hurt.

 

 

Author’s Note: Yay another update. I’ll probably write my next update on Friday, but not post it until Saturday. I would post it tomorrow, but since I won’t get to write until Monday, you guys would be updateless for a whole weekend. Anyways, so what are your thoughts on this chapter? Seohyun is pretty much screwed with no way out of her predicament. Any guesses as to how she will survive it? I love hearing you guys’ predictions. Also, sorry if the texting/chatting is confusing, I’m still trying to get the proper format just right. See you all on Saturday :D