YOUR POV

It was already night. As usual, I was at Blue Dragon doing my job. And again, DBSK were all here, drinking and hitting on girls. But today was a little bit different. It was because of someone, Youngwoong. He was sitting in the bar counter, facing me, as usual, and drinking but he was exceptionally quiet today, very very quiet, may I say. He looked like he was in his own world. Even DBSK oppas noticed it.

“Hey, Youngwoong, what’s wrong?” U-Know oppa, unable to take his silence, walked back to the bar counter and asked him about his problem. Youngwoong just looked at him for second and smiled lightly before looking back again at the glass of his drinks. “Come on, man. Is it about a girl? Jessica?” he asked again and glanced at me. I looked away. Again, no response from Youngwoong. “Since they came, you became like this. This is the first time you act like this because of a girl, man.”

He was right. Youngwoong never really acted this way, especially if it was because of a girl. What was wrong with him? He hardly knew Jessica. He just met her for two days. Why was he acting this way? Was she really that important for him? But that was impossible. Not him, not Youngwoong.

“It’s nothing. Don’t mind me and just enjoy the night,” Youngwoong said after a while. U-know oppa just sighed and did what Youngwoong said but it was visible on his face that he was still worried. After a couple of minutes, I couldn’t stand what he was doing so I decided to talk to him and know what was wrong. If it was because of Jessica, then let it be. I just couldn’t stand seeing him acting this way.

“What is wrong with you? Is it because of Jessica? Come on Youngwoong. You just met her for, what, two, three days and she is already giving you that kind of effect? That is not so like you, so not like Kim Youngwoong.” He just sighed and I was getting impatient. I was going to say something again when he spoke, still looking at his glass of drink.

“Have you ever…” There was a pause. I waited for him to continue. “Have you ever felt like you already know someone even though it was the first time you met him or her? Have you ever felt like he or she became a part of your life, like there is something missing in you and upon seeing him or her, you felt like he or she is what you are waiting for? Like you had met him or her before but couldn’t remember how, when, or where?”He asked so many questions that made me confuse.

“What are you talking about?”

“That was what I felt when I saw her… Jessica. I felt like I need to have her, her trust and especially her… love. I don’t know why but I think, I had known her before already.”

“Younwoong…” I didn’t know what to say. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart tightly, making me unable to breathe properly. Why was he saying this to me? Why was I feeling this way? I hate this feeling.

“I always have one particular dream. I was playing with someone, a girl. I couldn’t see her face, but I know that she was smiling at me. Every time I dreamt of her, I could feel this familiar feeling like she was very important to me, that I should remember who she is. And the very first time I saw Jessica, I felt that feeling enveloped my whole being. Do you think it’s her?” he asked, finally looking at me.

“It’s no---“

‘Please don’t tell anything to him from his past. Please ~~~-ah, promise me. It’s for his own good. Remembering his past, his childhood… I don’t want anything that will trigger his memory to come back. You two can still be friends and can make new memories, better ones so please… don’t tell him anything.’

I stopped as long as I remembered those words. That was right. I already gave my word not to say anything. I couldn’t… I shouldn’t… But Younwoong… No…I already kept it from him for four years… I shouldn’t…

“I… I d-don’t know. M-maybe. But Youngwoong, stop acting like this. This is not so like you. As far as I could remember, the Youngwoong I know doesn’t give up easily especially if he really likes to have something… Where is that Youngwoong? Jessica won’t like you if you’ll act like this. Show him the real Youngwoong.” I encouraged him and his face lit up. He gave me a smile, a bright smile and held my hand.

“Thanks, ~~~-ah. You’re really my best friend.”

Yeah, best friend… ~~~-ah, what were you doing? Why were you encouraging him? Was this really what you want? Did you really want to see him with other girl and left you behind?

But this was the right thing. I didn’t even know what I really felt for him. I shouldn’t let my selfishness prevent him to be happy. He deserved to be happy and if Jessica could give him the happiness he needed, then I would support them. This was already my fate. I was already used to it. I was already used of being left alone by the people I love.

But…  what about his promise before?

What should I do? I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Was it really the right decision to just let him be taken away from me?....

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Hi! Sorry for updating just now...

Anyway, I'm in a rush today so I wouldn't be able to reply on your comments but I'll reply on my next update, Promise!

So, bye for now!

n_n

DATE: May 22, 2011