[[ Hae Ji’s POV

The atmosphere inside the car is really weird, no one wants to talk, I’m already expecting him to ask me things about what happened earlier but for some reason he didn’t speak from the time he rescued me up to now, all he did was hug me, comfort me, and be a strong pillar whenever my knee grows weak.

When I left the old shack and was hugged by hyungshik, I felt nothing but I can’t move away since I felt really weak at that time, but then when the moment come when my strength came back, I quickly went towards the entrance of the restaurant, but then before I could even call him, I saw Aron walking side by side, arms linked, bodies touching, with Jiyeon.

That time, I really felt abandoned, really hurt, the one I’m expecting to save me is with the girl with the same status like him, a girl that can stand on the same stage as he is, a girl with a name, with dresses showing how y she can be, make up that makes her beauty in a very different level.

A girl that he’ll never be afraid to flaunt, a girl that he can boast, a girl that he can date without getting awkward or shy, a girl that is standing in a much higher level than me, a girl that cannot be compared to myself, a girl that he can love without anyone judging him, a girl that no one will object if they both date.

A sigh escaped my lips, and it really took Hyungsik’s attention. “Hey .. are you okay?” I turned to him, smiling, eyes a bit moist and the corners of my lips twitching. “Yes … I’m okay.” That’s all I can say to him. I don’t want to burden him with my own insecurities, with my own problems and most of all, I don’t want to share the pain in my heart to someone so innocent like him.

I rested the side of my head on the window, fingers fidgeting and playing with my dress, eyes closed imagining happy thoughts, happy thoughts that don’t involve him. “You don’t look okay …” I heard him say. I turned to him then smiled again, that’s all what I can do today, I’m afraid that if I open my mouth to say something, I might end up crying, burdening him with my painful load and he might pity me, an action that I don’t really like.

I felt a hand resting on mine, I looked at it and traced the arm covered with the fabric of his clothes, it’s him, the guy who always comforts me whenever I’m having these kinds of emotions, the guy who can be warm yet arrogant at the same time, the guy who never fails to rescue me in times of distress and discomfort. Before everything register nicely in my mind, he already pulled from the road and parked the car somewhere I’m not familiar with. “Where are we?” I asked him, his hand still not leaving mine.

“See you’re not okay, I’ve already changed our route a few minutes before and yet you only realized it now.” His warm voice once again washed all the stress in my veins, now I started to question myself, my heart, my mind, Why didn’t I love someone like him? I tried to pry his hand away but he’s being stubborn about it since he pried mine. “I’m already okay, I already told you!” I failed to keep my cool, my voice started to rise.

I bit my lower lip, stopping it from spewing nothing but nonsense and lies, it hurts to lie to someone who is so warm to you, it’s hard to put up a strong front even though you’re weak and dying inside, it’s hard to be like this, loving someone who you know that will not love you back, or loving someone you can’t really reach trapping you inside in an endless loop of dreams and wish.

I think my senses were dulling a bit because before I can retort, Hyungsik already trapped me inside his hug. “What are you doing!?” I asked, a bit terrified, not because that he’s a guy and someone might misinterpret something, but because that this small action can break the walls I put up, that he might see what’s inside my heart, my dying heart.

“Please … stop.” I mumbled my hands had already lost its strength from fighting back, tears had started to fall from my eyes, drenching my cheeks with my emotion. “Why … why are you like this … please..” I tried to push him for the last time but he didn’t moved a bit, he didn’t said a word, all he did is breathe and hum a soft yet warm tune.

The tune was really nice, for some reason everything around us slowly faded into thin air, the car, the trees, the road everything … all that was left was clouds, and peace. My eyes slowly closed on its own, my hands which were fighting back slowly wrapped themselves around his body, asking for comfort which he was already giving.

We stayed like that inside the car for a few minutes, till his music stop. Everything came back when he stopped humming; it was replaced by a soft sound coming from the air conditioner of the car. “I told you, you should’ve just used me to forget him, you shouldn’t have accepted his offer, and you shouldn’t even wish that he’ll save you.” His words were painful yet comforting, it only made me wished more that he’ll be the one I gave my heart with and not Aron.

“Why are you being like this Hyungsik … you … you should go back to your old self, dating everywhere, having fun, not here … not here where you only do is to comfort the pitiful me, you’re wasting your --- “ “It’s because you won’t give me a chance to show you how much I love you!” His words made me go silent, he likes me? No he loves me. “A-are you …” “Yes … I told you, when I saw you in the picture it tried everything to forget about you, call me stupid, call me a fool but when I saw you picture, I found myself smiling alone … smiling without no reason at all.”

“I had already tried everything to forget you, that’s why I dated every girl that I see, every girl that I met in the club, the ones who flirted me and also the ones that confessed to me, everyone but I always found myself going towards your house, or wanting to see you. Every day.” He pulled out from the hug, he held my head with his own warm hands. “Please … let me replace the one inside your heart.” His words and voice was a bit desperate, seriousness were written on his face that it became too painful to see. “I … “ My lips started to move on its own. “I’ll .. try.” I whispered. His face quickly changed, from the one dark and gloomy to a face which is b with hope, can this guy change my heart?

Will he be the one who can save me from this one sided love that I have for Aron?

Author's Shoutout.

I'm really sorry guys ... i really am.

It's been a while since i last updated this, and it's because of the stress i'm having right now.

i feel like i can't really connect with you guys .. i mean the way how i write, i can't really touch you guys ... i felt that i'm lacking something .. something big.

These past few months, i've been thinking to shut my account off, i've become really depressed seeing how nice and cool the other authors are.

To be frank, it felt really inferior towards them, i felt so small ... so ... worthless?

My friends told me to stop comparing myself to them, but still ... i can't help it.

I'm really sorry for this small rant of mine, i just need to do this .. it's not because of pity .. i just want to justify myself from the long pause i did in updating this .

OTL okay ... so ... ah i don't know what to say anymore ..

hope you guys like this update of mine .. and i'm really sorry ...