For The Best
And You Thought One Lie Couldn't Hurt
Chapter Nineteen
..::Yoobin's POV::..
I should probably stop the habit of forgetting to shut the car door as I run out but this was important. I knocked on the door repeatedly and tried to open it. It was actually open so I ran inside and looked around for his face.
"Whoa! You okay?" I snapped my head back and felt my chest moving up and down swiftly. Taecyeon slowly pushed me down onto the couch and sat down next to me. Once my breathing went back to normal, I looked up and felt useless tears falling onto the floor.
"Why am I crying..." I whispered to my self and wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. "Taec..."
"Baby, what's wrong?" A worried expression was stamped onto his face as he moved closer and rubbed my cheek with his hand. I smiled weakly and tried not to remember.
"He adores you. He couldn't live without you, I don't know what he's thinking going to Seattle!"
"No...No no no..." I whimpered and clutched my head with my hands.
"Since grade school, DUH!"
Tears swam in my eyes and threatened to over flow. Taecyeon held me and I tightly held him back. "Yoobin, tell me what's bothering you."
"Taecyeon..." "...Stay, I'll break up with Taecyeon." "No! Don't."
"Stop crying and tell me what it is." His eyes looked soft and delicate and his mouth curved into a frown.
"Jessica..." The word felt unwanted on my tongue. Something I wanted to spit out right away. Bitter... "Jessica Jung..."
"What about Jessica?!"
"She's not what you think, okay?!" I stood up and grabbed my side bangs with my left hand and clutched onto it, hoping that'll pull the tears back. "She's....She's fake Taecyeon!"
He looked up to me with a confused smile and his eyebrow shot up. "What? Get out..."
"It's true! She's a total liar! And that rumor!" I bit my lip to hold back my emotions from pouring out. "That wasn't even something some seniors from another school made up...She made it up. On her own."
"You're trying to tell me Jessica Jung is a..." He blinked and looked around for the word. "Deceiver?!"
"Yes, she's been lying to you, to Jaebum, to everybody this whole time!" I yelled and fingers gripped onto my hair and I felt my scalp burning from how hard I was pulling.
I wanted Jessica out of my head. Her lies, even the true things she's said, I want them out and I want to make sure they never come back again. I don't want to remember...
"He adores you. He couldn't live without you, I don't know what he's thinking going to Seattle!"
"...That's too hard to believe." I felt my heart trying to shoot out of my body. It couldn't take what was happening in my life right now. Nor could it stop beating.
"...What do you mean?"
"Jessica would never lie..." He avoided eye contact with me and looked around the room to distract his self. He knew his self that he wasn't believing his girlfriend's words.
"Jessica would never lie...?" A crooked smile formed onto my face but dropped instantly. "You know, you really don't know her..."
"What could she have possibly done?"
"What could she have done?!" I slammed my hands down onto the table and sobbed. "At home coming, she acted like I slapped her when she heard you guys coming around the corner! I don't know if you remember but she clutched her right cheek, not her left!"
"So, what does that have to do with anything?! Maybe you did hit her!"
"What would I have hit her for?! I don't even want to touch her! And it does matter, she would have clutched her left cheek if I slapped her! I'm right handed!"
"Well maybe she was so in shock her best friend hit-"
"BEST FRIEND?!" I kicked the table out of the way and held onto Taecyeon's shirt for the tiny pieces of hope I have left. "What the hell are you on?! We're not best friends Taecyeon, she only acts like she likes the 9 girls in our group!"
"What the hell are YOU on?!" He grabbed my hand and didn't let go. "Jessica never did anything to you so stop acting like it!"
I wasn't mad. I knew that he wouldn't believe me, if I were him, I wouldn't either. Being told your best friend is something you would have never thought they could be...
A liar.
A secret admirer.
...How badly did you hurt Jay? Whenever I talked to you about Taecyeon, your best friend, did you hurt inside? Were you secretly crying inside for me to stop talking about some other guy and only focus on you?
That one time in the hotel at Jeju island, were you sad when I told you I was there for Taecyeon? I bet it hurt even more when I brought up the whole detective thing right? I was the girl you were always describing this whole time. When I tried guessing, you would always keep this soft look on your face and look at me.
Looked into my eyes begging for me to guess correctly.
Did I ever love Jaebum more then a brother? No, I didn't even think that was a possibility in life.
What am I supposed to do now, let go of Taecyeon? ...But wouldn't that make Jaebum less miserable?
"Look Taecyeon..." I decided to have Taecyeon break up with me instead.
Just do it. Let me go and go tell Jaebum, even if he sounds sad, he'll be ecstatic inside.
"Who are you going to believe, your girlfriend or Jessica?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Please Yoobin, don't be childish."
"I'm not being childish, I'm totally reasonable here!"
"Look, I trust you Yoobin. But I'm not going to believe something like that without evidence."
"The evidence is right here!" I pointed to my self again and again. Just break up with me, get it over with.
"I want to believe you but I trust Jessica too."
"...Do you hate me or something? This is exactly how this whole shi.t happened. First Jessica tells everybody some stupid lie and then they hate me. When I tried to tell everybody it wasn't true, nobody believed me. When everybody started to apologize, I honestly wanted people to beg for forgiveness, beg for me to come back and be Yoobin again! All because everybody believed Jessica! So why not Taecyeon, it happened once, it can happen again if you really want to ruin my life."
He stood there, expressionless, and pursed his lips together. He rubbed the stress off his face and and his lips and stepped back. "Look Yoobin..."
Just seal the deal...
"What?"
"Don't cry..."
"I'll cry as much as I want..." I felt my aegyo gushing out in that sentence and I tried to hold it back. You want him to break up with you, not adore you...
"I don't believe you but...Trust me, I want to."
"And you know what?" I don't want to do this but it's for the best. "Maybe we should just break up."
Taecyeon's jaw dropped slowly in disbelief and just stared at me for a while. "Wait, Yoobin, don't say anything you don't mean..."
I love you... "We wouldn't work out in the future anyway." Before I bawled my eyes out, hr grabbed my hand and pulled me back and held me in his arms.
"Wait, no..." He whimpered and dug his head into my shoulder. "What are you doing..."
My toes curled up in my boots and my finger nails dug into my skin. "No, let me go!"
"You really want me to let you go?" No.
"Just let me go!" His arms let me free and I ran out of the house. As I ran into my car, my hands fumbled inside my bag to find the keys. I grabbed them and my vision was blurred by my tears as I tried to start the car.
"I can't even do anything right without you..." I placed my head on the steering wheel and cried.
"It'll be better this way anyway, right?"
--
"Whoa! You okay?" I snapped my head back and felt my chest moving up and down swiftly. Taecyeon slowly pushed me down onto the couch and sat down next to me. Once my breathing went back to normal, I looked up and felt useless tears falling onto the floor.
"Why am I crying..." I whispered to my self and wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. "Taec..."
"Baby, what's wrong?" A worried expression was stamped onto his face as he moved closer and rubbed my cheek with his hand. I smiled weakly and tried not to remember.
"He adores you. He couldn't live without you, I don't know what he's thinking going to Seattle!"
"No...No no no..." I whimpered and clutched my head with my hands.
"Since grade school, DUH!"
Tears swam in my eyes and threatened to over flow. Taecyeon held me and I tightly held him back. "Yoobin, tell me what's bothering you."
"Taecyeon..." "...Stay, I'll break up with Taecyeon." "No! Don't."
"Stop crying and tell me what it is." His eyes looked soft and delicate and his mouth curved into a frown.
"Jessica..." The word felt unwanted on my tongue. Something I wanted to spit out right away. Bitter... "Jessica Jung..."
"What about Jessica?!"
"She's not what you think, okay?!" I stood up and grabbed my side bangs with my left hand and clutched onto it, hoping that'll pull the tears back. "She's....She's fake Taecyeon!"
He looked up to me with a confused smile and his eyebrow shot up. "What? Get out..."
"It's true! She's a total liar! And that rumor!" I bit my lip to hold back my emotions from pouring out. "That wasn't even something some seniors from another school made up...She made it up. On her own."
"You're trying to tell me Jessica Jung is a..." He blinked and looked around for the word. "Deceiver?!"
"Yes, she's been lying to you, to Jaebum, to everybody this whole time!" I yelled and fingers gripped onto my hair and I felt my scalp burning from how hard I was pulling.
I wanted Jessica out of my head. Her lies, even the true things she's said, I want them out and I want to make sure they never come back again. I don't want to remember...
"He adores you. He couldn't live without you, I don't know what he's thinking going to Seattle!"
"...That's too hard to believe." I felt my heart trying to shoot out of my body. It couldn't take what was happening in my life right now. Nor could it stop beating.
"...What do you mean?"
"Jessica would never lie..." He avoided eye contact with me and looked around the room to distract his self. He knew his self that he wasn't believing his girlfriend's words.
"Jessica would never lie...?" A crooked smile formed onto my face but dropped instantly. "You know, you really don't know her..."
"What could she have possibly done?"
"What could she have done?!" I slammed my hands down onto the table and sobbed. "At home coming, she acted like I slapped her when she heard you guys coming around the corner! I don't know if you remember but she clutched her right cheek, not her left!"
"So, what does that have to do with anything?! Maybe you did hit her!"
"What would I have hit her for?! I don't even want to touch her! And it does matter, she would have clutched her left cheek if I slapped her! I'm right handed!"
"Well maybe she was so in shock her best friend hit-"
"BEST FRIEND?!" I kicked the table out of the way and held onto Taecyeon's shirt for the tiny pieces of hope I have left. "What the hell are you on?! We're not best friends Taecyeon, she only acts like she likes the 9 girls in our group!"
"What the hell are YOU on?!" He grabbed my hand and didn't let go. "Jessica never did anything to you so stop acting like it!"
I wasn't mad. I knew that he wouldn't believe me, if I were him, I wouldn't either. Being told your best friend is something you would have never thought they could be...
A liar.
A secret admirer.
...How badly did you hurt Jay? Whenever I talked to you about Taecyeon, your best friend, did you hurt inside? Were you secretly crying inside for me to stop talking about some other guy and only focus on you?
That one time in the hotel at Jeju island, were you sad when I told you I was there for Taecyeon? I bet it hurt even more when I brought up the whole detective thing right? I was the girl you were always describing this whole time. When I tried guessing, you would always keep this soft look on your face and look at me.
Looked into my eyes begging for me to guess correctly.
Did I ever love Jaebum more then a brother? No, I didn't even think that was a possibility in life.
What am I supposed to do now, let go of Taecyeon? ...But wouldn't that make Jaebum less miserable?
"Look Taecyeon..." I decided to have Taecyeon break up with me instead.
Just do it. Let me go and go tell Jaebum, even if he sounds sad, he'll be ecstatic inside.
"Who are you going to believe, your girlfriend or Jessica?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Please Yoobin, don't be childish."
"I'm not being childish, I'm totally reasonable here!"
"Look, I trust you Yoobin. But I'm not going to believe something like that without evidence."
"The evidence is right here!" I pointed to my self again and again. Just break up with me, get it over with.
"I want to believe you but I trust Jessica too."
"...Do you hate me or something? This is exactly how this whole shi.t happened. First Jessica tells everybody some stupid lie and then they hate me. When I tried to tell everybody it wasn't true, nobody believed me. When everybody started to apologize, I honestly wanted people to beg for forgiveness, beg for me to come back and be Yoobin again! All because everybody believed Jessica! So why not Taecyeon, it happened once, it can happen again if you really want to ruin my life."
He stood there, expressionless, and pursed his lips together. He rubbed the stress off his face and and his lips and stepped back. "Look Yoobin..."
Just seal the deal...
"What?"
"Don't cry..."
"I'll cry as much as I want..." I felt my aegyo gushing out in that sentence and I tried to hold it back. You want him to break up with you, not adore you...
"I don't believe you but...Trust me, I want to."
"And you know what?" I don't want to do this but it's for the best. "Maybe we should just break up."
Taecyeon's jaw dropped slowly in disbelief and just stared at me for a while. "Wait, Yoobin, don't say anything you don't mean..."
I love you... "We wouldn't work out in the future anyway." Before I bawled my eyes out, hr grabbed my hand and pulled me back and held me in his arms.
"Wait, no..." He whimpered and dug his head into my shoulder. "What are you doing..."
My toes curled up in my boots and my finger nails dug into my skin. "No, let me go!"
"You really want me to let you go?" No.
"Just let me go!" His arms let me free and I ran out of the house. As I ran into my car, my hands fumbled inside my bag to find the keys. I grabbed them and my vision was blurred by my tears as I tried to start the car.
"I can't even do anything right without you..." I placed my head on the steering wheel and cried.
"It'll be better this way anyway, right?"
--
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