Prologue

 ..::Yoobin's POV::..

 Beep. Beep. Beep.

 My swollen eyes fluttered open to the sound of my heartbeat and I could feel my body drained of it's energy. My mouth felt dry and my throat was scratchy and irritated, it felt like I swallowed a whole jar of pins and needles. Inside my head, I could feel everything spinning out of control, trying to drive me crazy. As I continued to breathe, I could feel the hallow emptiness of my stomach, or maybe it was my heart.

 "Yoobin? Yoobin! You're awake!" I saw my mom sobbing at my bed side and holding onto my hand.

 Then I saw all these needles and and tubes connecting to my arm to keep my alive. With all the energy I had, I used it to try to pull them off, to make them stop putting life into me. They could be keeping someone else alive, why waste it on me? I'm nothing right now, it's just like trying to put gas into a broken car, I'm not going to work, I won't stay 'alive'.

"Honey, no, they're keeping you alive." I wouldn't have stopped if I wasn't exhausted.

 What's the use? I jumped off the roof on purpose, nobody asked you guys to save me. You could have left me on that cold floor instead of taking me to the hospital, I would have been happy to go somewhere else. 

Somewhere else far away from here, somewhere nobody else knows about.

"Yoobin dear? What happened? Your dad and I just came home and-"

"Mom?" 

"Yes, what is it sweetheart?"

"I didn't want you to save me." 

"Honey, what are you talking about?"

"I was trying to kill my self, nobody came behind me and pushed me, it wasn't an accident either." 

My mother gasped and cried louder and louder.

"Why?!" She grabbed onto my arm and shook, trying to knock some sense into me. "Why did you do such a thing?! You've changed Yoobin, you're always doing crazy things now! You never hang out with friends! What happened to Jay?!"

The monitor started beeping faster as my heart sped up. His name, that name...

Don't say it.

"Just let me go." Throwing my arm out of her grip, she ran out of the room and slammed the door shut. 

Yeah, hate me. Hate me just like everybody else does. Shut the door and don't look back, don't look back to me crying out for you to save me.

I need to feel someone's touch again. I need to hear someone's laugh again, to hear happiness singing in the air. Otherwise, I'll keep fading away, keep fading away like a candle trying to hold it's light on a windy day, struggling to keep that last bit of hope alive.

Tell me you love me.

Even if it isn't true, one lie couldn't hurt.

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