I am back....so sorry guys..Im on my first week in university and orientation was killing me..I know i ve been in hiatus for a very long time..thus,i want to sincerely apologise for my readers..new and old...near or far..thanks for reading my poor story..new suscribers,Im so glad to have you here...

the deep, deep wound of your heart
don't bear them all one by one
nobody will blame you
it's okay to be who you are

Eventhough the morning greet him so brightly,the great churning sensation in his stomach never leave him.Thinking of yesterday,he knew it instantly that he should not behave like that.Not with everyone always feel insecure.

He moves slowly from the warm bed,wearing the houses slipper and makes his way to the room in front.Pushing the door of the room slightly.He can see the owner of the bed,had woke up,sitting on his bed,staring far away outside the window.

(the bold word is for the conversation,i dont know why but I cant use the symbol)

Chun-ah

The man turn around slowly,like a slow motion recording.And as slowly he turn,he turn back to where he is staring.Obvious tears stain his face.

Chun-ah..hyung..

No hyung,you dont have to.You are right.I shouldnt have to be so selfish.I should think of others.

Yoochun..please..I am da one who is wrong..I am overreacting.I should have take care of your feeling too.

Hyung,we both knew what we have gone through.We both knew each other so much,I think we both making wrongs when we fight yesterday.

You are right,Chun.In this hard time we are not supposed to be fighting with each other over tiny little thing.

And they enveloped themselves to a bone crashing hug.Promising each other to become more tolerate and think wisely.

Alright,so we are equal right?no more sad face?

Yes hyung...but dont you think it is the right time for your kitchen session?

What?Yah!we just apologize and now you want me to act like your maid??

Hyung....It just your usual morning routine and I just asking..

You are right.ok,I will prepare the breakfast.And you dont try to sleep again.Go wakes up the kids.Make sure they are wash before eating

Why should I?I am not their butler or maid??

And I am not this house maid too!Can you just please do it...??

Aishhhh~~Arasso..I will

Good boy.Jaejoong patt Yoochun head softly and went straight to the kitchen

Ok!Who should I wake up first?The old man or the evil one?Yoochun is thinking on who is he going to wake up first in front of the two door.

The older the calmer.He hummed softly and enter the room.

Hyung~~~~its time to love~~somebody to love~~aishhh..hyung wake up!Yoochun shake Yunho body when the latter didnt give any response

HYUNG~~~~~

Aish....go wake Changmin first,give me 5 minutes ok?Yunho ask with a sleepy voice.

Aishhh..this hyung...ok2..with that,yoochun go to the next room.C

Changmin-ahhhh..Irona~~~Yoochun shouted as he knows Changmin need a loud volume to wake up.

Min?Yoochun frown in curious when he see Changmin bed is empty.No sign of the maknae in the room.

Min??Where are you?He try to find the maknae everywhere,except Junsu room.Yoochun is sure Changmin is not there because Junsu need rest.

Yunho hyung!!Jaejoong hyung!!Changmin is missing!!Yoochun yell while keep wandering around the house looking for Changmin

What happened?What with the shouting Chun?Yunho go straight to Yoochun with his still sleepy eyes

I cant find Changmin anywhere Hyung!!The nervousness can be heard in Yoochun desperate voice.

Have you try in Junsu room?Jaejoong ask,try to calming the nervous Yoochun

Impossible he will go there.Junsu need more rest and Changmin knows it!Yoochun deny Yunho word.

Maybe he just want to check on Junsu.Lets go and see.Yunho decided

Min?Min...are you in there?Jaejoong almost whispering while carefully opening Junsu room door.

As the three open the door,they can see changmin sit next to junsu bed.They approach Changmin and the next scene surprised them.When they expect to see Junsu sleeping peacefully on the bed,it shows otherwise.Changmin was holding a black book and sobbing next to the empty Junsu bed.Yunho slowly approach the maknae and pat his shoulder.

What happen dear?where is Junsu and why are you crying?As jaejoong take the broken maknae into his embrace.

Tell me dongsaeng-ah.What exactly happened?Yoochun,feeling uneasy about all of this try to ask the still sobbing maknae.

Hyung..Junsu hyung is gone...he..look..Changmin shows the black book to the three.Junsu diary.

Yoochun unpatiently open the book to the last page written.And what he read makes him almost sob histerically.

Dear diary,

Its been a long time since I make an entry isnt it?You must be lonely right?Hey!do you know?last night.we..I really mean WE!The five of us eating together!In one table.TOGETHER!Can you imagine it?the scene I longing for over 2 years happen last night!And the story did not just end there.WE SLEEP TOGETHER!!!Sleeping ine one room.again TOGETHER.

I have the sweetest dream yesterday.Sleeping in their embrace,breathing the same air in one room.There is nothing more I want to.This is it.All the thing I yearn for.It become true in just one night.I dream we are in the same stage,shedding tears of happiness while singing,making the longest group hug and....they are not crying at my burial.You know...thats the first thing I wanted the most.To not making them cry because of me.Cry only bring pain and sadness and thats the least thing I want the member to feel.

Enough with the 2 years of suffering.I have seen enough tears.I cant bring myself to be their source of sadness no more.waking up with Yunho and jaejoong hyung beside was the greatest thing ever in my life.For the past two years,I always thought that we will never be together again.But the morning proves me wrong.Its not a dream anymore.I have reach it.I have reach my dream.

But The same stinging pain all over my body never left me.the reminder of my time are nearer.Yes,how i wish to live longer with them.Even if my voice disappear,the only thing I want now is to stay with them.But yeah,death is sure and I will have to face it sooner or later.

Diary,

I am a bad boy.I make they fight.What happened?Fighting is not what I wanted to.Why?why is the worl is unfair to us?Cant we just have a simple harmonious life with each other.I know it.I know.the reason.I am.i am the reason for all this fight.They are fighting because of me.they are hurting because of me.I am sorry Yunho hyung,jaejoong hyung,Yoochun-ah,Changminnie.I am very sorry.

Cold...pain..are all the things I can feel right now.Right..Let me,just let me die now.No more pain or tears.Just let me leave this world.Leo,you have leave wthout me.Hyung want to follow you.Wait for me,dear.Just for a while and i will be there.

The dark living room become the witness as Junsu breathing become more slowly and even.The cold bites every single part of his body.The shaking hands stop and the eyes closing slowly.Bidding goodbye to the world.

so sorry,after the long hiatus only this I could give to you..sorryyyyyyy..I promise to a better chapter..