Trust. It feels so vague to him. Hearing the word resonating in his ears is something he can't really feel. It has a numbing feeling towards him. He questions whether it's a word that actually exists. He wonders was it ever existent. Maybe it is.. Maybe it did but as far as he knows it, he has lost every means to believe it existed even once in his life. When he thought things were going well, when he finally entrusted his entire life and decided to dedicate it to someone, there she goes.. She walked away. She left him alone in the rain. He was broken into pieces that can never be mended.

The deed is done. She left. He feels confused as to why she did. He swore his life to her. He made an oath to her that he will be there no matter what. He'll be there every moment she needed him. He felt lost. Thoughts of why she would run away like that bugged him. Was it something he did? Was it something he said? Was it because he was visiting Gayoon? He felt betrayed. Was it enough of a reason for her to leave without a word? 

"Nothing is going to change Key.. Even if you keep looking at the ceiling like that and even if you manage to pierce a hole through it, she's gone. Pick yourself up like you've always did."

Suho had been standing near the door for almost half an hour. Key had been drowning himself with alcohol for the past day. He was literally lying on the floor of the bar. He was too intoxicated to actually stand by himself. His bloodshot eyes gave away the fact that he had crying non-stop. It wasn't just because he'd been drinking, it was definitely because of crying. He'd been like that since he came in pouring wet after running after Amber.

Suho entered to help Key stand. He grew heavy and it was obvious he had no energy to actually let himself stand up. He was a wreck. It seemed much worse when Gayoon left Key. This time around, Suho actually had his doubts if ever Key can fix himself ever again.

"I prepared a bath for you. Get it in Key. Please.. At least give yourself a bath.."

He helped Key into the tub as the lad undressed himself. The warm water somewhat calmed him. It's what he actually needed. The cold wooden floor in the bar wasn't helping him.

Fifty minutes. It's what he needed to fix his drowned senses. After literally staying up the entire night, drinking himself to sleep as he cried, waking up looking at the ceiling of the dark room he was in, he needed that bath. He still felt nauseous because of all the alcohol in his system but he needed it to stay there. It was the only anaesthetic he had.

He had no idea what day it was. He lost track. But he was certain it was supposed to be a workday, he was sure Minho would kill him yet again for acting irresponsibly but I mean, can he blame him? It was a punch in the gut, a slap in the face. Key feels betrayed yet again. He let her into his life, into his heart and there she goes leaving no trace of her whereabouts.

"She could have her reasons you know? We can never fully understand her intentions Key.. Give it to her. She has suffered long enough in one year."

"What makes me any different if that's the case? I struggled to let go of Gayoon and when I actually managed to let it happen, she came walking out on me? Isn't that equitable to what she had? I don't get it hyung.. Why did she have to do that? She knows how hurt I was when Gayoon left me! It's all coming back. In fact, it's even worst."

Suho had no words to say towards Key. No words can console what he was feeling. No words were enough to stitch up those wounds that were already open.

----------------------------

He had to take over yet again. Key was nowhere to be found yet again and he might as well perform instead of venting out his frustration towards work. Clients were to come in since it's nearing a holiday. They want to get things done quickly. The only thing he could let out was a sigh. The only break he could take was in the form of a coffee mug filled with hot coffee. 

It was a few moments that passed, Taemin came walking in. "Hyung.."

"Ohh, Taemin?"

"Mind if I join?"

"No.. Not at all. Go ahead."

Taemin took his seat. He looked troubled. 

"You okay Taeminnie?"

"Well.. Relatively? I'm just worried as to why Key hyung isn't here. I tried reaching him. He has never once not answered my calls. This time is different.. I just feel something is wrong with him or something is up. I can't figure what it is."

Minho ruffled Taemin's hair as he stood up. "You think too much for your own sake. I bet he's fine. Come on. We've got work to do.."

Taemin let out a chuckle. Perhaps, Minho is right. Maybe he is just overthinking but then again, he just feels it.

------------------------

It was a rather cold day that day. The winds have began whistling and it was obvious that a few weeks from then, winter would be coming. Key looked at the sky. The clouds were a little low but not too dark to say anything that it'll be raining any time soon. He went out for a while hoping to find a little peace since the house seemed as if every corner of it was reminding him of Amber. She left so might as well not think about her. It was the thought that crossed Key's mind.

He wanted to go somewhere. Hoping that a little talk would finally settle things and that he could get things over with once and for all. He wanted to go away. He needed to go far and search for himself yet again. Suho was right. He was able to pick himself up before, he can do it again. The only difference is that this time around, there's uncertainty and it'll definitely take a longer time for it to actually happen.

His footsteps were echoing through the hallway as he walked on. It was where Amber thought the crime scene happened. The only thing he did was talk to her and figure things out once and for all. The only luck he had was close to zero since all the while he'd been visiting her, she was asleep or if not unavailable to visitors. He'd just park his car and that's all.

As he went closer to her door, a voice can be heard other than hers.

"How have you been? Sorry if I wasn't able to visit the last few days. Things had been busy.."

"No. It's okay. I mean, you have to do your job first right? It's not really an issue.. You look tired though."

"Ah.. It's nothing. It's just that Key has been an lately. He won't come in for work or what.."

A sudden barge on the door was then heard and a loud punch filled the rather spacious room. 

"The hell?! You seriously have the guts to call me an ?!" Key came in shouting. Minho was half lying on the floor as he grasped his jaw, later his mouth which was already bleeding from the punch Key threw at him.

"What the?"

Key came for him. "Seriously? Me? An ? You actually have the nerve to say that?!" He shouted yet again. And again, he threw another punch. Right after, Minho answered back. "The Key?! What's wrong with you?!"

Key fell on his behind but stood up as soon as possible. He threw in another punch but missed. Minho answered. Key had started shouting like crazy.

"What's wrong?! Tell me what's wrong huh, you bastard?! Seriously, you calling me an ?? That wasn't even half of what you did to me!"

"What are you talking about?" Minho questioned.

"Come on. Don't play games with me! Gayoon broke up with me and you knew. You knew and despite that, you actually got together with her? You took her in? Seriously? You took in that of a woma..."

Right before Key could finish his sentence, Minho threw him a strong punch near the stomach. Key fell on his knees from the impact.

"You bastard! Don't you ever dare call Gayoon a . She was sick! She left because she was dying?! She didn't want you to witness her leave. She didn't want to see your face and feel guilty she let you go through with it! You have no right to call her like that! Seriously? She was sick and I was the only person she knew who'd be able to keep the secret from you.. For God's sake Key, she did it for you! She'd rather suffer alone that see you slowly dying because of what she has.."

"STOP IT! STOP IT YOU TWO!" Gayoon shouted. It was not long that her monitors started running haywire.. The doctors flew in as the nurses lead the  two bloodied men outside the room. 

----------------

Several hours had passed and both had calmed down. Key never knew. It was the only time things seemed so clear. Gayoon planned the break-up all along but not because she wasn't in love with him anymore but because she was sick. She opted to leave but then again he feels confused as to why she never came back.

"She was uncertain of her fate." Minho butted in as if he knew what Key was actually thinking. "She doesn't know when it'll comeback. She wanted to be with you everyday. The first month of seeing her under treatment, she kept calling for your name but she knows you're not going to arrive because she left intentionally. She expected she was going to die but the doctors eventually said it was under control but there was no certainty it will no longer come back. Without the assurance, Gayoon didn't want to step into your life yet again. She only had the guts to do so when three years of not being confined happened. It tore her however when she learned of your marriage. It came back that's why she's here.'

"How come she never told me this? Things would've been easier for the both of us."

"It's like what I told you. She didn't want you to suffer. She opted to suffer alone instead of seeing your worried face everyday. It'll kill her even more."

Key sighed as he wiped his lip. Blood had stopped dripping out. His question was finally answered but then again,it was no help. Amber won't be coming back just because he knew what had truly happened. Moments later, Jonghyun came running in and Onew followed.

"You guys okay?" Jonghyun asked.

"Yeah.. We're fine hyung.." Minho answered. 

The two accompanied Minho and Key as they waited for the doctors to get out of the room. It wasn't until past 9:00pm that the doctors came out and said everything was stable. Minho came in and Key walked away to ride a cab. 

"I hope they'd be okay.." Onew whispered.

"They'll be. They'll be fine even if you didn't come. You didn't have to you know.." Jonghyun said coldly. He then walked away. Onew hesitated but later talked back.

"What's your problem Jonghyun? I mean.. Why?"

"Why? You're seriously asking why? I bet you know it yourself hyung. It was your fault. If it weren't for you, she wouldn't be suffering like this."

"I never wanted for that to happen.."

"You knew hyung?! You knew I loved her and then I learned of the fact you were seeing her? If it weren't for you, she could've achieved all of her dreams.."

And he walked away. Onew took his seat. He was right in everything. He may have not wanted it but indeed it was his fault.

------------------------

"You sure about this?"

"Yeah.. I need this Minho. It's the only thing that can keep me sane for now. To be honest, your the only one who knows about what had happened and I wish for no else to know about it. I entrust things to you for now. Thank you.. It was painful but I needed it."

"Sure thing.. Just don't forget to call once in a while. I'll be needing my own guidance as I run the company while you're not around."

He needed to go away. If forgetting was the only option he had, might as well do it somewhere else. Everything that was in his life until that moment will remind him of her; the house, company, parks, malls. Everywhere, her face was the only thing she could see. If she has no plans of coming back and he had to forget. He might as well do it. But then again. he's still hoping that eventually, the tides of time will be bringing them together even just once.

Trust, will it still exist?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JAJAN! Whew.. An update for all of you! I just hope things in this chapter would be easy to grasp? I mean, that's what it's supposed to be right? I don't really have much to say since the following chapters would seem as the "Season 2" of this fic. The season 1 book is closed so yeah.. I think it's pretty obvious who's the person that's going to leave for somewhere. I mean, don't we all have that tendency? Just go somewhere where we can let loose and let it all go? So, yeah. Hope you like this one. Please stay tuned!

Semestral break is a few weeks away so I'll be able to update as frequent as I did before school started. HOHO! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!