Friday, 19 September 2008

"You did a good job!" the crew of KBS Music Bank greets us. We bow to them and say thank you as we walk out of the studio area.

"Let's hit the club tonight after dinner! We're celebrating our maknae's birthday! Woo-hoo!" Miryo unnie screams happily inside our van. The rest of us laugh at her enthusiasm. "It's ok, unnie, let's just have dinner and go home," I tell her. "What are you talking about, Ga-In ah? We have to celebrate! You're turning 21, now you're finally legal to drink alcohol anywhere in the world!" Kyung-Sun unnie laughs. "Unnie, I don't plan to travel the world, anyway, and I'm already legal here, so--" "Ga-In ah, why? You don't want to celebrate with us?" Narsha unnie asks and makes a frowny face. Now I feel bad. It's not that I don't want to celebrate with my unnies, but I'm not really in the mood for a night at the club, you know. 

"Err... It's not like that, unnie, just--" "Ok. That settles it, then. We'll go to Club Answer tonight! I'll call my friend. He's the manager, so he can hook us up with a VIP table. Assa~!" Narsha unnie interrupts before I even turn down the invitation. I sigh inwardly; I guess I'll go clubbing tonight, then. I look out the window and see the busy streets of Seoul. I spot a couple who's busy feeding each other at a food stall. As someone who's never been in a romantic relationship, I feel really envious. Well, this year I'll be spending my birthday as a single person, as always.

"We can stay up til late tonight, you girls only have Music Core tomorrow," Kyung-Sun unnie tells us, waking me up from my thoughts. "Ga-In ah, your mobile phone just beeped, check it, it might be important," JeA unnie nudges me on my side. I pull out my phone from inside my bag.

From: Ji-Yong

[Noona, where r u? I didn't get to see u after Music Bank :( u already went home?]

I sigh again when I read his text. We haven't seen each other since last week at Music Core. Honestly, I'm kind of afraid. I think I've gotten more attached to him. We text each other and talk on the phone almost everyday. I'm not sure if this arrangement is good for me. I know I've promised to put a little trust in him, but I feel like I'm going to fall for him, and I fear that I might be falling too hard. My phone beeps again.

From: Ji-Yong

[Noona, why r u not replying? :( I know u're not busy. Where r u?]

"Who was it, Ga-In ah?" JeA unnie asks. "N-Neh?" "Who sent you a message? And what's with the long face?" JeA unnie looks worried. "Ah, nothing. It was just... my mother. Yeah, my mother. She told me to give her a call," I lie to her. I've lied to JeA unnie quite a lot lately. I believe she has noticed some changes in my behaviour. She asked me a few weeks ago if something was bothering me but I said no. I feel bad about lying to her, because we're really close and she's like my second mother. But I'm not ready to tell her anything, especially when I myself am not even sure of what I'm doing with Ji-Yong. "I think you should call your mom now, Ga-In ah. Your phone just beeped again," JeA unnie chuckles, startling me out of my thoughts.

From: Ji-Yong

[Noonaaaaa~ Pls reply...]

Ji-Yong has been like this for the whole week. He didn't use to be so pushy, but since last week, he's gotten a bit more... aggressive. I'm not flattering myself or anything, but if he knows that I'm not on my schedule and I don't reply immediately, he will badger me with texts. I'm not complaining; I like that he seems to care about me a lot, but it's kind of freaking me out at the same time. My phone starts ringing.

Oh, crap! Now he's calling me? Eotteokhae?

"It wasn't important," I tell Kyung-Sun unnie, who's throwing me a questioning look after I rejected Ji-Yong's call. She shrugs her shoulders and continues playing with her phone. I guess I should reply his message now, otherwise he might try to call again.

To: Ji-Yong

[Ji-Yong ah, noona is with unnies and going out for dinner. Sorry, I just checked my phone. Have a good dinner, too, ok?]

Yes, ever since last week, I've been referring myself as noona when I talk to him. I've been doing it because of my stupid slip of tongue calling him 'Ji-Yongie' on the phone. What the hell was on my mind that night? I don't think we're close enough for me to be calling him by a petname like 'Ji-Yongie'. So, by emphasizing my noona status, I guess it'll make be feel less embarrassed. It's ok for a noona to call her dongsaeng by a cute nickname, right? My phone makes another beep.

From: Ji-Yong

[Ok.]

Eh? 'Ok'? Just 'ok'? That's strange. I know it's only a text, but why do I feel like he's upset? Did I upset him or something? 

"Yes! We got the table, ladies! Club Answer here we come!" Narsha unnie beams as she hangs up her phone. She must've called that friend of hers from Club Answer. Geez, this is Friday night and we could still book a table at last minute? Should I take this as me being lucky?

We reach Waka Japanese Restaurant and get out of our van. Kyung-Sun unnie decided earlier that we will have dinner here and then head to Club Answer, because both are in Cheongdam-dong area. It's past 9 p.m. now, so I think I'll just eat a little since we're going for some drinks later. It won't be good for me to gulp down alcohol with an empty stomach.

"Since we're celebrating Ga-In's birthday, it's my treat!" JeA unnie says with a grin on her face. "No, unnie, I'll pay. I--" "What? No! Hey, it's not polite to turn down old people's offer!" JeA unnie cuts in and laughs. My Brown Eyed Girls unnies were born in 1981, and they love to joke around about the fact that we're 6 years apart. "Are you sure, unnie? I can pay for it, really. I don't want to burden you," I try to argue. "Yah, are you kidding me? Of course I'm sure. Don't worry, Ga-In ah, unnie is making some money now, so I want to treat my dongsaeng," she smiles wholeheartedly. Seeing her persistance, I can't say no. "Thank you, JeA unnie," I give her my most sincere smile.

We eat dinner happily. The food is really good, but what makes it better is the fact that I'm eating with Kyung-Sun unnie and my members. I shouldn't feel down. I should be happy because I have people who care about me. "So, ready to get the party started?" Miryo unnie pokes my shoulder. I let out a small laugh; she really loves partying. "Let's go, let's go!" Narsha unnie says enthusiastically after JeA unnie pays for dinner.

Club Answer is packed! Of course it is. This is like one of the hottest clubs in Seoul, and it's a Friday night. As soon as we get to our table, I really feel grateful for Narsha unnie and her manager friend who gave us a good table at the last minute. "I heard that you're celebrating your birthday. Happy birthday, Son Ga-In ssi," Narsha unnie's friend says while sticking out his hand. I shake his hand and bow slightly. The man looks like he's in his early 30s; he looks muscular and quite good-looking. "I'll send a waiter here and you girls can order whatever you want. It's on the house," he tells us. He pecks Narsha unnie on the cheek before he walks away. Wait, is there something I don't know? Hmm...

"He's gay," Miryo unnie whispers to me, probably noticing my confused state. "Ah, geurae?" I chuckle. That's too bad. I think he and Narsha unnie would make a cute couple. Soon enough, a waiter comes to our table and takes our order. My unnies are such big drinkers, especially Narsha unnie. We order a lot of drinks, but I'm sure that they all will be history by the time we get out of here later. We go to the wooden dance floor and dance our troubles away. 

It's a little after 2 a.m, and we decide to go back. After saying goodbye to Narsha unnie's friend and thanking him for the hospitality, we go outside and wait for our van. Narsha and Kyung-Sun unnies are still wide awake, while JeA and Miryo unnies are a bit tipsy. And so am I. I can't handle alcohol too well. My vision is quite blurry and my head is slightly spinning. As soon as the van arrives, we jump in and zoom off. 

My house is the last one on the way, so Kyung-Sun unnie decides to drop me off last. By the time we get to my apartment building, I feel a lot better. After assuring Kyung-Sun unnie that I can go up by myself, the van zooms away from the driveway.

I ride the elevator up to my floor and smile; the night didn't turn out so bad, after all. Or so I thought.