Seoul, 15 March 2008

It's 8 p.m. I just got home and now I'm cooking ramen for dinner. How fancy. Brown Eyed Girls performed at MBC Music Core today and I haven't been feeling well since morning. Kyung-Sun unnie drove me home right after we finished our schedule. She literally yelled in my ears reminding me to take some medication. I chuckle. I couldn't ask for a better manager.

So, here I am, sitting down at the dining table in my apartment, stuffing my face with a bowl of ramen so I can take my medication. I don't know what's wrong with me. My body just doesn't feel good. It's not even that time of the month yet. Am I coming down with a cold? I shrug off the thought as I finish my dinner and wash the dishes. 

After taking a long, hot bath, I make some hot tea and take an aspirin. I turn on my laptop and check on my email inbox. There are a few unread emails. One from our producer, one from my mother, but what makes my heart jump is when I see an email from a familiar name. One I haven't heard from in so long.

From: Han Chin-Ho ([email protected])

[Hello, superstar! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Have you been well? I miss you so much. I read on the news the other day that Brown Eyed Girls are doing great, your new album is a success... I'm so proud of you! 

I'm in Seoul for a week for a conference, going back to Hong Kong on Monday. I really want to see you, can you squeeze a little time for me so we can catch up? I tried calling your old number but it was no longer in use. I'm not even sure if you still use this email address, but I'll give it a try anyway. My mobile number in Korea is  010-798-4343, call me if you have time. Take a good care of yourself, ok?

Missing you,

Your Chin-Ho oppa.]

My whole body freezes as I read his email. It's him. I haven't seen him for almost 3 years. The last time I heard from him was 2 years ago, when he told me over the phone that he was being transferred to a new office branch in Hong Kong. I check the email one more time to make sure that I'm not hallucinating from the medication. It says that the email was sent 2 days ago. Why didn't I check my email yesterday? I scold myself silently. What should I do now? Should I call him? There's no harm in catching up with an old friend, right? Even though I'm not sure I'm ready to see him again, I really do miss him. I don't even know what he looks like now. Before I even finish contemplating in my head, my hands are already dialling his number.

"Hello?" a voice answers the line in English. That voice. I miss hearing that deep voice... "Hello?" he says again. Oh, crap! Say something, Ga-In, or else he'll think that it's a prank call! I gather my courage and answer, "yeoboseyo... Is... is this Han Chin-Ho ssi's phone?" "Yes, it is. Nuguseyo?" I pause for a bit before answering, "err... Chin-Ho oppa, it's Ga-In. Son Ga-In." He exclaims, "omo! Ga-Innie? I thought your voice was familiar! How have you been, Ga-In ah? I thought you had already forgotten about me... Did you get my email? Neomu bogoshiposseo, Ga-Innie..." 

Ga-Innie. It's his little nickname for me. I never forgot about you, oppa. You were the first guy who broke my heart. Realizing I've been silent for a few seconds, I reply, "I've been good, oppa. What about you? Has Hong Kong been treating you well?" I don't know what else to say to him, my heart feels heavy. I hear him chuckle, "I'm doing just fine, Ga-In ah..." I smile and say, "it's good, then, oppa."

"I'm going back to Hong Kong on Monday, though. I really want to see you, Ga-Innie. Don't you miss me?" he utters with his voice, sounding sad. "N-neh... I miss you too, oppa." "Are you busy tomorrow? Can we meet up? Even if it's only half an hour..." he asks. The only schedule I have tomorrow is performance at SBS Inkigayo in Deungchon-dong. I'll be done by 6 p.m. I quickly tell him yes and arrange to meet at Addis Ababa, a cute little cafe in Hongdae. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow at 7, ok Ga-Innie? I can't wait to see you! Good night..." he says before he hangs up.

I suddenly feel hot. I'm going to see him tomorrow. I can't wait, either. See you soon, Chin-Ho oppa... I drift off to sleep afterwards.

Seoul, 16 March 2008

I've been feeling jittery all day. Even though I'm affirmatively down with a cold, I can't stop smiling. I'm meeting Chin-Ho oppa later. I change out of my stage clothes and dress myself in a white t-shirt, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, and a red cardigan. I glance at myself in the mirror and smile in satisfaction. I never see myself as pretty, but at least I look presentable today. I head out of our dressing room with the unnies and get into our van. 

"Ga-In ah, are you sure you want us to just drop you at Hongdae? How are you getting home?" Kyung-Sun unnie asks as our van moves away from SBS Open Hall. "Yes, unnie, I'm sure. I'll just ask my friend to drop me home later, or I can take a taxi, it's not a problem." Narsha unnie pokes my shoulder with an impish look on her face, "awww, who are you going to meet, Ga-In ah?" I smile at her and say, "just an old friend, unnie." Now, it's Miryo unnie's turn to tease me, "oooh... Is it a guy or a girl?" she asks while winking her eye. I smile in embarrassment when JeA unnie says, "yah, let her go. Stop teasing our maknae! Just be careful, ok, Ga-In ah?" I nod at her and mouth 'thank you'. I told JeA unnie this morning about my plan to meet Chin-Ho oppa. She was reluctant at first, telling me that it's not a good idea. But after my persuasion, she gave me her approval. JeA unnie is the only one who knows about what happened between me and him. She's the closest to me out of all my Brown Eyed Girls unnies, so her opinion matters to me.

We reach Addis Ababa at 6:50 p.m. After waving goodbye to my unnies, I step inside the cafe and order a latte. The cafe is almost empty, which is a good thing. I peek at my wristwatch that says 7:05 p.m; he's five minutes late. He didn't ditch me, did he? My nervouseness disappears when I see a familiar figure walking inside the cafe. He looks at me and a big smile materializes on his face straightaway. He runs and hugs me tightly.

"Orenmanida, Ga-Innie..." he whispers without breaking away from the hug. I feel a lump in my throat, and not because I'm having a cold. Not knowing what to say, I just bury my head in his chest while trying to fight my tears. After hugging for a few moments, we sit ourselves down. I take a good look at him. He looks better than ever; more tanned and musclier. He orders a cup of coffee for himself and we start talking about what has been happening in our lives for the past 2 years. I tell him about my work, and he tells me about his life in Hong Kong. I'm dying to ask whether or not he's still together with his girlfriend, but I don't have enough guts. 

"By the way, Ga-Innie, I have something for you," he says as he slips his hand into his bag, reaching for something. He pulls out a white envelope that looks like it has a card in it. My heart starts to beat like a drum. Is that what I think it is? "Here's an invitation to my wedding. It's still three months away, but luckily all the invitations are done so I can give one to you now. I know you're busy, but please try to make it, hmm? It means a lot to me if you could come. It's in Jeju-do, so you can have a little vacation there as well," he grins at me. 

I feel like my heart is being squashed into pulp after hearing what he just said. I try very hard to keep a smile on my face. Don't cry now, Ga-In. Be strong! Wait until you part ways and then you can weep all you want. "Chukahae, oppa," I coo. I open the invitation that's sitting on the table and read it. I recognize the girl's name, the same girl he was dating years ago. That answers my question. Not only they're still together, they're also getting married. "I can't promise anything, but I'll try my best to come," I tell him in a shaky voice. I silently pray for him not to notice that I'm about to cry. 

"I really hope you could come. I want to share my happiness with my Ga-Innie," he softly says. "You must be very happy and excited, oppa..." "Yeah. Very. I feel like I'm the luckiest man alive," he smiles widely. He's happy. Is it selfish of me to hate the fact that he's happy with someone else? I can't hold it any longer, I need to get my out of here now.

"Uh... Oppa, I'm sorry but I can't stay here for long. I have to--" "I understand. You're a star now, of course you're busy. I'm thankful enough that you could still make time to meet with me tonight," he cuts me. I stand up and bow slightly to say goodbye. "What are you doing? Come here..." he pulls me into another hug. Why is he making it harder for me? I cry inside. I feel his hand my hair before he breaks off the hug. He gently cups my face, "you look pale, don't work too much, ok?" I nod my head and smile. Then he kisses my forehead softly which leaves me frozen on the spot. 

"Is someone picking you up?" he asks, melting me from my frozen state. "Uh... Yeah. I think my manager is already outside," I lie to him. After saying goodbye, I literally run out of the cafe with tears threatening to fall. I lean my back against the brick wall in an alley and wail. It's a little past 8 in the evening and not a lot of people are around. After crying my eyes out, I walk slowly to the side of the road to hail a taxi. Fifteen minutes have passed and to my expectation, all the taxis are hired. What an awful day. Giving up on waiting for a taxi, I decide to just walk back home. It's not that far, anyway. I just want to lie down on my bed and sleep. 

I look around the quiet road. I walk slower as my legs start to weaken. I should've brought my car. I remember telling Kyung-Sun unnie that I was going to ask my 'friend' to drop me home. Things don't always go as planned, though, do they? Suddenly I hear a car honking, scaring the hell out of me. I look to my left and see an unfamiliar luxury-looking sedan. The window on the passenger's side rolls down.

I gasp in surprise, pointing at the driver, "J-Ji Yong...?"

Little did I know that God had planned for a friend to take me home tonight...

___________

Author's Note:

Hello, beloved readers! *waves hands*

I can't leave out the drama, now, can I? Kekekeke~ There's gonna be drama, alright, one bit at a time ^^