Seoul, 27 February 2008

I'm sitting with my members at the dining room in our dorm. We just finished dinner after yet another flight back from Tokyo. I feel tired but happy. Our promotion in Japan has been going very well, and I'm grateful for that. It's not easy for Korean artists to succeed in Japan's music industry, since they also have a lot of great ones. The competition is fierce. I hope someday we can make it big there, like TVXQ sunbaenims. 

"Hyung, I've been meaning to ask you, can I please have my Brown Eyed Girls CD back? You've had it for almost two weeks. I haven't put their songs in my iPod yet, and now I've almost forgotten how the song goes," Seungri's voice wakes me up from my thoughts. What was he saying? Oh, right. His Brown Eyed Girls CD. , I haven't had the chance to put the songs into my iPod, either. And now he wants it back. Eotteokhae? "Hyung...?" he waves his hand in front of my face, after hearing no response. "Why do you look blank, hyung? Don't tell me you lost my CD! I had to beg Nam-Gook hyung to buy that for me and I haven't even paid him back. If you lost it, then--" "It's in my room," I tell him before he could finish his sentence. What's he talking about? I'm not like him, I don't lose things. Tch~

"Oh, thank God! I thought you lost it, hyung! By the way, have you listened to it? It's good, right? Can I have it back now? Where did you put it?" he stands up and starts walking to my bedroom. Oh, fudge! The CD is not in my bedroom! Well, technically it's in there, but it's inside my backpack. Since I haven't had the chance to convert the songs to mp3 and put them in my iPod, I've been carrying a CD player around so I can listen to it. This is 2008 and G-Dragon has gone old-school. Before Seungri moves too far, I shout, "yah! Can I give it to you tomorrow?" Gosh, I hope he won't suspect anything and ask questions.

He looks at me confusedly, "huh? Wae, hyung? You haven't listened to it yet?" That sounds like a reasonable excuse, "nope, I haven't had a chance, we've been busy and all." Well, that was a huge lie. I've listened to L.O.V.E so many times that I've memorized all the words by heart. "So, I'll have a go at it tonight and return the CD tomorrow, ok? I promise," I say. Seungri pauses for a bit before saying, "you should've told me, hyung. All this time the CD has just been lying around in your bedroom? I could've added the songs to my iPod." He sounds a bit annoyed. That's a given. He has the right to feel annoyed. After all, it's his CD. Should I just return it tonight and ask Nam-Gook hyung to buy another copy for me? Ah, but that'll take time, because he's busy too.

"Seungri ya, are you scolding your hyung now? It's just one more night, don't be like that," TOP tells Seungri in a fatherly manner. I've known him for quite a long time, and even though he's a playful kind, he can be mature when he has to. Being the oldest, he often helps me in dealing with the dongsaengs. I look at Seungri who just exhales deeply. Seungri looks at me, smiling, "arasseo, hyung. Tomorrow, just like you promised, ok?" I nod my head at him.

What I didn't know was, during the conversation, Taeyang had been observing me quietly from his seat and wondering why I was lying to Seungri about the CD. Taeyang was sure that he had seen me playing it on my CD player more than once.

In the corner of my eye, I can see Taeyang looking at me with a small smile on his face. That's weird, why is he staring at me? "Young-Bae ya, why are you staring at me?" I voice my thought. "Ani, just thinking of something," he answers quickly then turns to Seungri, "Seungri ya, can I borrow that CD after Ji-Yong returns it? You said it was good, right? I won't borrow it for long, I promise." Excitement appears across Seungri's face, "really, hyung? You wanna listen, too? Sure, you can borrow it after I put the songs in my iPod, ok?" Taeyang smiles at his reaction, "thank you, but no rush. Just give it to me when we fly back to Japan next week... By the way, Ji-Yong," he looks at me, "since I don't want to keep the CD away from Seungri for too long, can I borrow your old CD player? Mine is broken." His question startles me a bit before I can pull myself together and answer him yes. I'm sure I just saw his eyes twinkle in mischief. I wish I had the ability to read whatever is in that big head of his.

I am now busy adding the songs from the CD to my iPod. I had to convert it to mp3 format first, which took me some time. I flip the booklet and gaze at a photo of Son Ga-In. She's smiling happily in the picture. I looked her up on the internet a couple of days ago. From my online escapade, I found out that she was born on 20 September 1987 - making her almost 1 year my senior, her blood type is B, and her hometown is Gwangju. She also loves dancing and watching movies. I know it's not a lot of fact, but that's all I could find about her in a short time. I also watched a video of her singing with Kim Yong-Jun sunbaenim from SG Wannabe. She's gotten prettier since then. I trace my thumb on her photo before placing the CD back in its case. 

I jump into bed after finished taking a quick shower. I sit up with my back against the headboard. I scribble on my book while trying to find ideas for a new song. With my eyes closed, I try to think of something to write about. That's when an image of her pops up in my mind. I start writing some lines as I visualize her. The way she smiles, the way she sings, the way she dances... I imagine how she would laugh, how she would cry... 

Then I realize something: I've been thinking about her a lot. Ever since I saw her perform on that TV program two weeks ago. Too bad we don't know each other. Not once have I ever talked to her, aside from formal greetings. Why is she always in my head, then? Son Ga-In, what are you doing to me? Why are you lingering in my mind? Or maybe it's because I let you linger there...?

I shake off the thought as I try to come back to my senses. I cover my face with both of my hands. I put my book away and decide to just sleep it off. "Kwon Ji-Yong, what are you doing?" I chide myself. Don't let someone take over your brain and emotions! Especially someone whom you don't know personally, let alone thinking of you.

Little did I know that it wasn't true...