Seoul, 25 May 2008

It's a few minutes after 6 p.m and I just arrived at the dorm after a long day at work. My mind has been swamped with the preparation of our upcoming album. Today, Yang sajangnim told me that the launching of our new album has to be delayed, since the members are currently busy with individual activities. It's a good thing, though, it gives me more time to fix a few things with the song compositions. 

The door swings open, revealing Taeyang and Seungri. "Uri-ga wasseo!" Seungri shouts happily. What's with that guy? Did he eat too much sweets again? "Hey, guys," I wave at them, "how was your performance, Young-Bae ya? I wanted to watch it on TV but I missed it. You did good, right?" He nods, "it's ok, you had work to do. But try to watch me next time. Some friend you are..." I respond him with an apologetic smile. I really did want to catch his performance on TV but I was too busy working and forgot about the time. 

"Ji-Yong hyung, you should've gone there with me today. God must love me for being a good dongsaeng who supports his hyung. Today I finally got Ga-In noona's signature. Jjajan~" Seungri says while showing his Brown Eyed Girls CD in front of my face. What? He met Ga-In noona at Inkigayo? Didn't Brown Eyed Girls finish their promotion already? While I'm still sulking silently for having missed a chance to see Ga-In noona, Seungri continues babbling, "look at this, hyung! See? Even her signature is cute! Aigoo, as expected of Gwangju princess... She even put a little heart sign on it, kyaa~" Damn it, I don't like how Seungri is too thrilled about getting Ga-In noona's signature. Argh, I should've been there! I miss seeing her. I've never seen her again since that night I took her to Banpo Bridge. And that was, what, like 2 months ago? Here I am, feeling like a desperate fool for the past 2 months, and Seungri is the one who got to see her? Dear God, is this your way of punishing me? 

I try to keep a straight expression even though my heart is burning with envy, "good for you, Seungri ya." I look at Taeyang who's staring at us with a smile on his face. I bet he also finds Seungri's over-excitement ridiculous. "Yup! I even built up a courage to talk to her, hyung! She's really friendly, you know, I should've tried to talk to her before. I can't believe all this time I was wasting my time--" "Wasting your time to what? Ask her out on a date?" Taeyang cuts him and asks. M-Mwo?! Seungri wants to ask Ga-In noona out on a date? Hell, no! I won't let him! "It's not like that, hyung. I just want to get closer to her, is that so wrong? And A pretty girl like Ga-In noona must have a high standard on guys. There's no way she will say yes if I ask her out on a date," Seungri replies. That's right, dude. Just keep your confidence on this matter low. Don't even think about asking her out. "Ayyy, don't say that. Why don't you try?" Taeyang tells him. Yah, Dong Young-Bae! Why are you putting ideas into his head? Shut your big mouth before I shut for you!

"Maybe I will," Seungri says cheekily. Oh, how I want to scrunch his face up with my own hands right now. "Oh, you know what, Ji-Yong hyung? Ga-In noona even gave us this! She made this herself. She's so kind, right?" he says while holding a roll of kimbap up in the air. Ga-In noona gave him that? I suddenly feel hungry. Why am I so unlucky today? I sulk in silence. As if that roll of kimbap is not enough to make me feel bad, Seungri adds, "and that's not the best news of the day, hyung!" He pulls out his mobile phone from his pocket, "Ga-In noona gave me her number! How lucky am I? I asked for it and she willingly gave me! Now I can brag in front of my friends. Assa!" Seungri jumps joyfully around the living room before heading to his bedroom.

I feel downright miserable. I've been dying for 2 months because I was dumb enough not to ask for her number, and now Seungri has it just because he went to SBS? I was working my of the whole day and life still treats me unfairly. I even drove by her apartment building on my way to work a few times hoping to run into her, but never got lucky. I sigh out of irritation. "Ji-Yong ah, have you eaten?" Taeyang asks. I just shake my head, too dejected to say anything. "Here, you can have mine. It looks delicious, too bad I'm on my no-carb diet," he hands me a roll of kimbap. So, Ga-In noona gave him one as well? That means Seungri didn't get a special treatment, right? "What was Ga-In noo-- I mean, Ga-In ssi doing at Inkigayo?" I ask, trying to look nonchalant. , I almost slipped and referred to her as 'Ga-In noona'. Hopefully Taeyang didn't notice. "She was a guest MC since Heo Yi-Jae noona is sick." Heo Yi-Jae noona is an artist under YG, just like us. "Ah, is that so..." "Yeah. Well, I'm going to take a shower now and then go to bed. Enjoy the food, ok?" he says as he walks out of the living room. While I'm about to tear up the aluminium foil that wraps the kimbap, he turns around and clears his throat, "by the way, Ji-Yong ah, you should've seen your face when Seungri said he got Ga-In noona's number. Oh, yeah. We call her noona now, because we're close like that." He laughs before he runs off.

Oh, bloody hell. Was I that obvious? Did Seungri notice, too? Gaaaaah!!! I hate this. What's ironic is that I actually had time to go to Inkigayo today, but I didn't, because I thought I would just finish up with some work at the office. I also thought that since Seungri was going to come, that would be enough support for Taeyang. Now look what I got out of being a workaholic. Seungri is way ahead of me. I like Ga-In noona, okay? There, I said it. Come on, think, Ji-Yong, think! Think of something to turn this situation around!

As I finish eating the kimbap, I get an epiphany. I should stop being a coward and ask Seungri for Ga-In noona's number. But, what should I say as an excuse? Knowing how nosy Seungri is, he will definitely ask questions. Or worse, he may not even give me her number. Oh, I know! I'll just say that I want to make a collaboration with her. That sounds good enough, right? I get my off the couch and knock on Seungri's door.

Not hearing any answer from him after knocking 3 times, I let myself in. He's probably busy listening to his iPod with headphones on. When I get inside, Seungri is nowhere to be found. Then I hear a sound of him singing in the bathroom. He always does that when he's taking a shower. Hmm, this is my chance. I spot his mobile phone on the bed and quickly search through the contacts. I can't find any 'Son Ga-In' in there. Did the little punk lie to me? But Taeyang didn't say so. While searching for a 'Ga-In noona', I find a 'Gwangju princess'. Tch... This punk even had the guts to put 'Gwangju princess' as her name in his phone? Son of a b-- No, Kwon Ji-Yong! This isn't the time to curse maknae in your head. Quick, copy her number before he's out of the bathroom!  

Swiftly and silently, I type in Ga-In noona's number on my mobile phone and run out of Seungri's bedroom. I take a quick shower and snuggle down on my bed. I try to pull myself together and gather up a courage to contact her. Should I call her or would that seem too bold? Should I just send her a text? After contemplating for an hour, that's right, the great G-Dragon here just took 1 whole hour to send a text message to a girl, I finally decide to stop being a sissy. 

To: Ga-In noona

[Hey, Ga-In noona, how are you?]

I breath a sigh of relief after sending the text. That wasn't so hard, right, Kwon Ji-Yong? Now, let's wait and see if she replies. Hopefully she didn't give Seungri a fake number because he scared her. I giggle inwardly at the thought. I grab a comic book from the side table and read.

5 minutes... 10 minutes... 30 minutes... Now it has been an hour and there's no reply. I'm already finished with the comic book. Why isn't she replying? Did she really give Seungri a fake number? Because I'm sure I wrote the number correctly. I checked, three times! I flip open my mobile phone to see if I sent it to the right name, and I did. Why isn't she replying, then? Maybe she's busy. I read the sent text once again. Holy sh-- of course she doesn't respond, you idiot! You didn't say it was you! She probably thinks you're some kind of a weird stranger, or worse, a stalker! A voice in my head yells as I slap my forehead.

To: Ga-In noona

[Noona, it's Ji-Yong. Big Bang's Kwon Ji-Yong. Remember me?]

I send her another text with my name mentioned twice, just to make sure she knows that it's me. Who knows how many Ji-Yongs there are in South Korea, right? A beep wakes me up from my thought. Please, let it be her, please, please~

From: Ga-In noona

[Hey, Big Bang's Kwon Ji-Yong! Kekeke... Of course I remember you. Sorry I didn't reply earlier, you didn't put your name so I was afraid that you were a prankster. How are you?]

It's her! It's her! I scream happily in my head. If there was a little version of me in there, right now he would be doing somersaults out of happiness. My heart starts beating faster. What should I reply? I've never been like this before, it never took me this much courage to chat up a girl. This is only a text message, why is it so hard?

To: Ga-In noona

[I'm fine, noona. How have you been? You're not sad anymore, right? I miss you so much, noona...]

I slap myself once again right after the text is sent. 'I miss you so much, noona'? Do my fingers have their own brains or something? Oh, Lord, now she's going to think that I'm a huge freak. That was the third message I sent her and I had an audacity to tell her I miss her? The bad thing about a text message is once you send it, you can never take it back. The little Ji-Yong in my head is probably banging his head on the wall now, because I'm starting to get a headache.  

No reply from her. I continue moping while telling myself that she's never going to want to see me again. I regret stealing her number from Seungri's phone. I was trying to take a step forward and shamefully failed. If anything, I just took a gigantic step back. Next time we run into each other, she will certainly avoid me. I am doomed. I close my eyes and try to sleep, hoping that when I wake up tomorrow, this will all be just a nightmare. 

Little did I know that nightmares could turn out to be so beautiful...