Seoul, 19 August 2008

A mouth-watering scent creeps into my nose. I try to open my eyes but they feel so heavy. Where am I? Last night... omo! I open my eyes wide and sigh in relief when I look at the familiar surrounding. Phew~ I'm in my apartment. But how did I get here? The last thing I remember was... Big Bang... Noraebang... Ji-Yong's birthday... OMO!

I quickly sit up and look around. I look down on myself and see that I'm wearing the clothes from yesterday. My bag is on the desk along with the jacket I wore last night. My head feels so sore and my mouth is dry. My whole body doesn't feel good. Wait a minute... who took me home last night? How could I get inside my apartment? Ah... I probably wasn't drunk so I drove home. There's no other explanation, right? I sigh and head to the bathroom.

I look at my own reflection in the mirror. Boy, I look hideous. It amazes me that I even had the time to remove my makeup last night. I giggle silently and praise myself; nice job, Son Ga-In, you're having a comeback soon so you need to have a good complexion! I wash my face and brush my teeth. I feel more refreshed now. My stomach grunts loudly. I smirk; alright, stomach, I'll feed you very soon. I look at the little clock on the sink; it says 10:15 a.m. Good thing my photoshoot is still 3 days away, because right now my eyes are red and swollen. Even my face is swollen up a little, probably because I drank too much alcohol last night. 

Man, why did I agree to come to the karaoke bar, and with Big Bang, too? I humiliated myself last night when I cried in front of them. Why did Seungri have to ask me to sing that song? I couldn't control my emotions in front of Ji-Yong. I sigh again as I think about Ji-Yong. I hadn't seen him in more than a month, and out of all nights, I had to run into him last night. I had been avoiding him; I ignored all his texts and calls. I just wasn't ready to be in touch with him yet. 

I walk out of the bathroom and walk into my closet to change clothes. I pick out my pyjamas, might as well, since I'm planning to just sleep all day today. I stroll out of the closet and the delicious smell greets me once again. Is the neighbour cooking something good? At 10 in the morning? 

"You're up," a friendly tone fills the air. "Omona!" I scream in shock. There in the kitchen, standing with a big smile on his face, is Kwon Ji-Yong; the source of the misery I've been experiencing for the past month and a half. He's wearing my pink apron and holding a ladle in his hand. "W-Why are you..." I try to ask, but my mind is b with a million questions and no other words come out. He chuckles and walks towards me, "good morning, noona." Dear God, care to tell me what the hell is happening here? Why is he inside my apartment? Omo! Did he take me home? I freeze in my spot with my mouth ajar while trying to get a grasp of what's going on, until...

"Aaah!!!" I yelp and cover my face as I start remembering the series of events from last night. The last thing I did was wishing him a happy birthday, and then he put his hand on mine, and then... black. That means... he really did take me home. "Noona, what's wrong? I think you should sit down," he tells me softly and helps me to sit at the dining table. He pours some water into a mug, "here, drink this." Ji-Yong, why are you doing all this? Why didn't you go home? Please don't make this even harder for me... He holds the mug closer to my mouth after hearing no response from me. I snatch the mug from his hand, "I can do it myself." He sighs, rubs his temple, and walks back to the kitchen. I look at his back; he's stirring something in the pot while constantly glancing at a piece of paper near the stove; probably a recipe of whatever he's cooking. I gulp down the water in my hand and try to calm myself down.

"Done!" he squeals, his hands are holding the pot. Whatever it is in that pot, it sure smells good. He puts the pot on the dining table and grabs the bowls from the cabinet. He spoons two bowls of rice and walks back to the dining table. He takes out some cuttleries and lays them next to my plate. Man, he knows his way around my apartment now? How long has he been exploring in here? I just stare into space, not knowing what to say to him. He opens the lid and grins, "jjajaaan~ It's hangover soup, made by Chef Kwon especially for Queen Son!" He looks so cute, but I hold my smile. He frowns for a second, and then pour some soup into my bowl. "Eat, noona," he tells me gently. He stares at me and I divert my gaze around the room. "Noona, please eat. If you don't want me here, I'll go. As soon as you finish, I'll go," he says softly, almost sounding like a whisper. 

I start eating and my body is filled with a comforting warmth. The soup tastes delicious. I look at him, who's just sitting quietly beside me with his head bent down. "Why are you not eating?" I ask him. He looks at me with a tiny smile on his face, "can I?" I sigh and pour some soup into his bowl, "eat." He nods and begins devouring the food. He must be very hungry; I smirk inside. Silence then occupies my whole apartment.

"How did you cook all this?" I break the silence after we both finish eating. "O-Oh, I took the groceries from your car and find the rest of ingredients in your kitchen. I'm sorry, I didn't intend to snoop around, but--" "It's ok. Thank you," I whisper in my chair. After another minute of silence, he chuckles, "you know what's funny, though?" I raise my eyebrow at him, waiting for the answer. "I could find all I needed to cook hangover soup in your fridge and in the bags from you groceries last night. Were you planning on getting drunk, noona?" he asks jokingly. I feel my face blushing in embarrassment. Yes, I was. I even bought 3 bottles of wine 2 days ago. Want to know why, Ji-Yong? Because I was trying to stop thinking about you, that's why! "Ani, it was just a concidence," I curtly reply.

He abruptly stands up and his hands fumble inside the kitchen cabinet. What is he doing now? He brings something in his hand and puts it on the table, "now that you've eaten, take this." I look at the cough medicine in front of me. How does he know that I'm having a cold? I take the meds and gulp down more water, all in silence.

Why are you here, Kwon Ji-Yong? Why don't you go home? I appreciate your help and everything, but please, quit being nice to me. I don't want to fall for someone who's only being nice to me out of courtesy... Please, leave me alone... "Do you want some coffee?" he asks me, startling me out of my thoughts. I don't say anything. "I'll make you some coffee, hmm?" he stands up again. I hold him by the wrist and pull him back to his chair. His face looks confused. "What are you doing, Ji-Yong?" I ask. His eyebrows furrow, "e-eh? What do you mean, I--" "Why are you here? Why are you doing all this? I appreciate you for taking me home last night, but why did you stay? Why didn't you go back to your dorm? Why--" I choke on my words and tears start rolling down my cheeks. I can't hold it in any longer. He kneels on the floor close to me and pulls me into a tight embrace. My silent tears soon turn into sobs. I feel his one hand my hair and his other hand drawing circles on my back. I weep in the crook of his neck for a few minutes.

After I calm down, he slowly pulls away and looks closely at me. I try to divert my eyes but he cups my face in his hands. His thumbs brush over the tear stains on my cheek. "Come with me," he helps me stand up and gently pulls me towards the couch. We both sit down and I don't have the guts to say anything after my what just happened. I feel so embarrassed to have broken down in front of him, while at the same time a little relieved that I let out my frustration. 

We're sitting with our legs crossed, facing each other. I keep my head down, trying hard not to look at him. "Noona, I have something to ask you," he speaks in a soft voice. "Mwo...?" I ask hesitantly. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks again. I shake my head in response. I tilt my head lower and close my eyes. Son Ga-In, don't cry again! A voice yells in my head. "Why have you been avoiding me, then?" "I haven't been avoiding you, Ji-Yong ah... I... I've just been busy, that's all," I say without looking at him. He sighs deeply and scoots closer to me. My heart bursts with both joy and fear. He gently pushes my fringe to the side with his finger, "look at me, noona." I take a few moments to pull myself together and looks up at his face. I notice something as soon as I look closely at his face; he looks sad. He's smiling, but his eyes are telling me that he's hurting inside. What happened to him?

"Do you know how much I've missed you, Ga-In noona? How much I've been worried? All this time you've been ignoring me, I've been miserable. When I saw you last night, I was so happy because I finally got to see you again. But then you cried when you sing that song. My heart hurt when I saw you crying... Did someone hurt you, hmm? Did I hurt you?" No, Ji-Yong, you didn't hurt me. I was just stupid because I'm afraid I would get hurt if we stay in touch. I'm afraid I would feel something more. Tears escape my eyes again and I wipe them harshly. He pulls me into a hug and rest his chin on my shoulder. Nooo! I scream in my head. Ji-Yong, don't be like this. I'm already hurting, so stop being nice to me. I'm begging you...

We stay like that for a while, and my tears start to dry. I try to pull away but he holds me tighter. "I... I like you, Ga-In noona. I know we barely know each other... But I can't keep you off my mind. I-I've never felt like this before... My heart has been hurting all this time you've been avoiding me. So, please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. Don't push me away... Don't walk away from me... I can't say how much I like you, but all I know is I think about you every single day... It's ok if you don't like me back, but can we please still be friends? I don't--" he chokes and I pull away immediately. Tears are b in his eyes. I try to repeat each word he just said in my mind. H-He likes me? He 'likes me' likes me?

He bends his head down and pulls his hair as he groans in frustration. I pull his hands away from his head, his cheeks are now wet with tears. "Ji-Yong ah, uljima..." I coo at him. "I... Honestly, I was avoiding you. I didn't mean to make you feel worried, but I was afraid, Ji-Yong ah... You were being so nice to me, and I was afraid that I would feel something for you. Something I should't feel... I was afraid that I would take your kind gestures and attention in a wrong way... I was afraid that my heart wouldn't be able to take it if that happens. I was afraid that you were just being nice to me out of courtesy. In fact, I still am..." I mutter to him. He doesn't say anything and just looks down to his lap. That goes on for a long while and the suspense is killing me. 

"Ji-Yong ah," I start talking and he finally looks at me in the eyes, "I'm... I'm not sure about my feeling, but if you're planning to play around with it, I think it's best if we don't keep in touch... At least for a little while until I can sort it out. I don't want to be cruel, but I don't think I can survive another heartbreak..." He clasps my hand with both of his hands, "noona, can you do something for me?" My body stiffens up as he rubs my hand gently, "what do you want me to do?" He smiles warmly at me, "can you put a little trust in me and please give me a chance?" "Y-Yeh? W-What chance?" I ask him stutteringly. He puts his hands on my waist and stares deeply into my eyes, "a chance to make you happy." My heart beats faster than ever before. Oh, God, what is this? What is this feeling?

"I'm not planning to play with your feelings, noona," he continues, "never have and never will. What I said earlier, and what I feel for you are sincere. I know I'm still young, but let me prove to you that I can be someone you can rely on... What you told me just now, even if you're not sure about your feeling, please hold on to it a little longer... Until I can take away all your fears... Can you please do that for me, noona?" My hear starts to feel calm and safe after hearing his words. Should I give him a chance even though we're both not sure of what we're feeling? Should I take that risk?

I remember what happened to me with Chin-Ho oppa. Back then, I was too afraid and too insecure to confide my feelings. I guess this time I should just give it a chance, rather than regretting it later and wondering what if. I slowly nod at him and a huge smile immediately appears on his face. He hugs me again and whispers, "thank you, noona. I won't let you down."

After hugging for a while, we both pull away and look at each other. We both chuckle as we realize how our eyes are red and swollen. I bet my eyes are only slits now. "You know what?" he asks. "What?" "I must be smelling so bad, I haven't had a shower and haven't brushed my teeth," he giggles. "Aniya, you don't smell bad. Do you want to take a shower?" I ask him while smiling. "May I?" "Sure, there's a clean towel in the drawer in the bathroom, and a spare toothbrush under the sink. I'll get one of my t-shirts for you," I tell him and get off the couch. "Eh? No, I'll just wear this one again. I won't fit into your t-shirt," he says. "I have some t-shirts that can fit you. They're uni, so don't worry," I grin and walk to my closet. 

After he takes a shower and changes into one of my t-shirts, we both sit down and drink coffee in the living room. We talk about some things while watching a day-time drama. "Do you realize something, noona?" "Hmm?" I ask. He sits closer and clanks his cup against mine, "last night was the third time we accidentally bumped into each other. It's true what they say, third time's a charm." He snickers and I do the same. I feel a lot better now. He asked me to put a little trust in him, and trust him I will. Let's just see where it takes us. 

A sound of ringtone comes out of his mobile phone. "Yeoboseyo? Ah... Neh... Algesseumnida, I'll be downstairs in a minute," he says before ending the call. "The driver's here. I have a radio schedule in 2 hours," he says while frowning slightly and I smile at him. He picks up his things and I lead him to the door. "Thank you, Ji-Yong ah. Have fun at work, ok? Fighting!" I tell him cheerfully. He hugs me one more time. "Promise not to ignore me again?" he asks. I hold out my pinky and he hooks his pinky around mine.

"Have some rest, ok?" he says as he walks out the door. After taking a few steps in the hallway, he turns around, "I stole a kiss from you last night. It was only a peck on your forehead, though, so don't be mad. It lessened your headache this morning, right?" "Yah, Kwon Ji-Yong!" I yell at him but he quickly turns around and runs away while laughing. Aish~ that guy! I slam the door but I feel a little giddy inside over the fact that he pecked my forehead last night.

I quickly wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. I'm sitting around in the living room while reading a magazine when my mobile phone makes a beep, signalling a new text message.

From: Ji-Yong

[Noonaaaaa...]

I chuckle after reading his message. Aigoo~ he just walked out of here, what does he want now?

To: Ji-Yong

[Waeeeee...?]

I send him the reply. I hope he's not going to say that he did other weird things last night...

A reply comes after a minute.

From: Ji-Yong

[Nothing, just checking if u keep ur promise, and u did. So, I'm happy! Kekeke~]

Gosh, Kwon Ji-Yong, you're so silly even though you look cool on the outside.  Before I even begin to type a reply, another text comes.

From: Ji-Yong

[Btw, I saw our new album on ur table. I signed it, too ^^ Now you can brag about it, kekeke... Have u listened to track #5 yet? I just want u to know that I was thinking of u when I wrote that song...]

I gasp when I finish reading his message. I grab the CD from the table and play it on the stereo. The song is titled 'LADY'. Throughout the whole song, I feel giddy like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss.

To: Ji-Yong

[Ji-Yong ah, I like the song. I hope someday I'll be ur 'track #5'. Someday... ^^]

I'm still trying to calm myself down when his reply arrives.

From: Ji-Yong

[Then I'll make sure that 'someday' will come, ma' lady...]

Aigoo... Kwon Ji-Yong! I giggle happily. A beaming smile is plastered on my face as I take a long, beautiful nap.

Little did I know that Kwon Ji-Yong had started to charm his way into my heart...