Tokyo, 5 March 2008

We've just landed in Japan, again, and this time it's going to be another week here. I almost feel like a nomad, you know. The reason why we've been flying back and forth instead of staying here during the whole promotion is because we're also in the midst of preparing our new Korean album. Needless to say, I am dog-tired. I think we all are. But the burden is higher on me, since I also have to work on the songs for the new album. 

We're now sitting in the van on our way to a radio station. They're going to do an interview with us about our mini album 'For the World'. I couldn't get any sleep on the plane because I was busy reading the list of questions they're going to ask. Since my skill in speaking Japanese is still below satisfactory, I had to memorize a few things to make the interview run smoothly. 

After we arrive at the radio station, the crew us to a studio. With a little help from our translator, we answer all their questions with sincerety and perform How Gee. As soon as we finish greeting everyone at the radio station, we head out and our driver takes us to the dorm. Yes, since we have to come here on a regular basis, Yang sajangnim rent a dorm for us to live in. It's probably much cheaper than having to pay for hotel accommodation. The dorm has 3 bedrooms, and I'm lucky because I have one for just myself. Taeyang rooms together with TOP while Daesung is with Seungri. Daesung and Seungri are sometimes still a little awkward around each other, which was why we decided to put them in one bedroom.

"Boys, you can have two hours of rest. I'll be back with your lunch and then we're going to the studio to practice for your upcoming concert," Nam-Gook hyung tells us after we reach our dorm. I nod in understanding and laze away in the living room.

I sit myself on the couch, pull out the book from my backpack and begin scribbling, a thing I always do when I try to find inspiration for a song. I tap my forehead with the pen in my hand, hoping for ideas to emerge. Taeyang comes into the living room holding 2 boxes of orange juice and toss one my way. "Thanks," I mumble. "Mm-hmm. Trying to write something, huh?" he asks while flipping a magazine; it's a Korean magazine, he must've brought it from Seoul.

"Yeah, but my mind is blank right now," I tell him while sipping on my drink. "That doesn't happen to you a lot," he says, not making any eye contact. I sigh, "molla. I don't have any ideas on my mind right now, so I'm trying to find an inspiration--" he chuckles, "well, maybe you're doing it wrong, Ji-Yong ah..." I look at him bewilderedly, but his eyes are glued to the magazine. Doing it wrong? Tch~ Dong Young-Bae, why don't you try writing one, then? Go find out for yourself how hard it is to compose a song. I huff out in irritation.

"I can't do much to help you since I know nearly nothing about songwriting," he adds, "but why don't you try writing about something that has been loitering in your head?" I furrow my eyebrows at what he said, "huh? Young-Bae ya, What are you talking about?" He sighs as as he continues flipping the magazine, "you've been spacing out a lot these past few weeks, so there must be something on your mind. Don't even try to deny it, we've known each other since we were kids."

H-he noticed that? I gasp inside. Alright, I'll admit it. There's something that's been consuming my thoughts. Gosh, sometimes I hate how Taeyang pays attention to little things. Calm down, Ji-Yong. Just say something in response. Any kind of response will be good. Don't let him win by thinking that he's right about what he said just now! "I don't--" "Ji-Yong ah, don't lie. The other guys noticed it, too. I'm not asking you to tell me what it is that's been on your mind, if you don't want to tell me, then don't. I'm just saying, it might be a good source of inspiration, or not, whatever, you should know better," he rambles after cutting me almost immediately. What is he, a mind reader or something? I just sit quietly, not knowing what to say. 

I see TOP walking closer and sits next to Taeyang on the other couch. "Whazzup, homeyz?" he says in English. I smirk at him. Choi Seung-Hyun, keep your swag down, there are no fangirls here for you to dazzle. "Not much, just hanging out. I'm hungry, though," Taeyang replies. "Where are Daesung and Seungri?" I ask TOP. "Taking a nap," he answers while playing with his mobile phone. Nap sounds good right about now. I should take a nap before Nam-Gook hyung comes back.

I lay my back on the couch with my legs crossed. Feeling bored, I fish my mobile phone out of my pocket and play a game. From my position I can see Taeyang still browsing through the magazine and TOP peeking at it occassionally. "Oh, it's that girl! Keu yeoja... What's her name? The one Seungri loves so much..." TOP suddenly sits up and points his finger at the magazine. Taeyang giggles at his reaction, "Son Ga-In, hyung. Her name is Son Ga-In, from Brown Eyed Girls. Can't you read here?" I feel my body stiffened at the mention of her name.

Son Ga-In. That's the something, or rather, someone, that's been hanging around inside my head for the past few weeks. I instantly have the urge to snatch the magazine from Taeyang's hands and read whatever news there is about her. Slow down, Kwon Ji-Yong. Don't lose your cool. Just casually ask Taeyang to lend you his magazine later. 

"Wow, there's a whole spread of Brown Eyed Girls in here. Nice..." TOP is now holding the magazine in his hands. "Ah... It says here that their new single has been scoring No.1 on many charts. Cool. You should show this to Seungri and let him know that HIS Ga-In noona is doing great." TOP tells Taeyang. The latter just smiles and glues his eyes on the magazine. 

Tch! HIS Ga-In noona? Seungri's Ga-In noona? Since when did she belong to Seungri? Maldo andwae! Omo. Kwon Ji-Yong... Are you being jealous now? So what if she is Seungri's Ga-In noona? Or do you want him to be YOUR Ga-In noona? A voice in my head interrogates me. I ruffle my hair in annoyance. Uh-oh. Why did I just do that? Taeyang will surely ask questions if I do something weird or out of the ordinary. I hope he didn't see that. 

I peer at the two guys who are paying close attention at what they're reading. I sigh silently out of relief. I clear my throat to get their attention. They don't budge. Geez, what the heck is on that magazine that makes them so concentrated? I clear my throat once more, a little louder this time. TOP looks up from the magazine and raises his eyebrows at me, "what?" Uh-oh. What do I tell him? "Uh... Nothing," I curtly say. Taeyang then grabs the magazine off his hands and shuts it. 

"I'm going to take a short nap. Wake me up when the food gets here, will you?" Taeyang says, looking at TOP as he gets up from the couch. "Alright, don't forget to show that magazine to Seungri. He'll go bananas over those y pictures of his Ga-In noona." Both of them snicker afterwards. y pictures? There are y pictures of Son Ga-In in there? I want to see, too! Give it to me, now!

As if reading my mind. Taeyang stretch his hand to hand me the magazine. Oh Lord, I didn't say that out loud, did I? Omo, eotteokhae? "Here, read this. You look bored." Phew~ so I didn't say that out loud. Thank you God, you still love me after all. "By the way, Ji Yong ah... Thanks for letting me borrow your CD player, it works perfectly. I really enjoyed listening to Brown Eyed Girls' songs. I'm sure you did, too, right? I'll give it back to you soon," he utters quickly before walking out of the living room. I don't know why but he sounded too teasing for my liking. Can he really read my mind? Or am I reading too much into it? Oh, forget it. I start scanning through the magazine slowly, trying hard to look indifferent in front of TOP who's still sitting there playing with his mobile phone. Where are those pictures of her? Argh, why are there so many pages in this magazine?  

I stand up and tell TOP that I'm going to my room. He reminds me not to sleep so comfortably because it'll be difficult to wake me up. I lie on my front on the bed and quickly flip through the magazine. There it is. An editorial spread of Brown Eyed Girls. Seung-Hyun hyung was right. Brown Eyed Girls look y in all the pictures. My eyes are constantly drawn to Son Ga-In. She looks pretty. Even when she poses ily for the camera, she still gives away that cute vibe. There's a picture of her alone, smiling sweetly. I trace her face with my thumb. Girl, you have no idea how much you've messed up my mind, do you? You've made me unable to understand my own heart. I capture a photo of her smiling with my mobile phone, since I'll have to return this magazine to Taeyang later. 

'Maybe you're doing it wrong, Ji-Yong ah...'

'Why don't you try writing about something that's been loitering in your head?'

What Taeyang said earlier keeps replaying in my mind. Maybe he's right. I take my book out of my backpack and flip open the last entry. I read some lines I jotted down last week. The word 'LADY' written on the top of the page. Then it sinks in on me; the last time I wrote anything on this book besides today was the night I was thinking of her. I gaze at the screen of my mobile phone that shows a photo of her I just took. With a pen in my hand I start adding some lines, combining the words I want to say to her. Maybe someday she can listen to this song. Even if she will never know that she's the inspiration behind it. I reread the lines while silently wishing that one day these words could come true.

Little did I know that God heard my wish and planned to make it happen...

________

Author's Note:

Whazzup, homeyz? Hehe~ Thanks to all of you who have been reading this. Are you confused with the plot or anything else? I sure hope not. If you are, well, you can ask me. Please pay attention to the dates I put up on every chapter ^^ I won't ask you to comment or anything, do that if you want to. But I'm always open for suggestions, if you have any... Criticisms, too, as long as you don't be too harsh; spare my tender heart, okay? Kekeke... Alright then, til the next update! Ppyong~