"Kyung Jae I think we need to break up."

Hana had her arms crossed in front of her chest as she stared into her full size mirror in the bathroom and rehearsed the phrase over and over again.

"No... that's the wrong way." she muttered and ran a hand through her hair.

She stared at her reflection. "Kyung Jae, we need to go on a break."

"It's not you, it's me?" she tried weakly.

But there was no use.

Hana knew she was still hopelessly in love with him. There was no way she could possibly break it off with him, gay or not.

The door opened to the apartment and she ran out, panicking slightly.

The stench of alcohol wafted inside the room and she cringed. It was the fourth time in a month that he had come home drunk.

As she watched Kyung Jae stagger in, she felt confuse. *Why won't he just leave me? It's better for him*

"Babbyyy." He slurred when he saw her.

Hana relaxed and hugged him carefully.

One good thing about Kyung Jae drunk was that he was possibly even gentler with her than he usually was. Kyung Jae rarely showed any violence towards Hana. He was always kind, caring and gentle, the way a boyfriend should be.

"Hey. Let's get you to bed." she struggled to pull him to their bed.

Once he was on the bed, she took off his jumper, shoes and socks and tucked him in.

She climbed into bed next to him and he snuggled into her embrace.

For a moment Hana froze. It had been a long time since he willingly cuddled her. But that was because he was drunk. She sighed dismally and checked the time. *12 pm. Not too late*

Before she fell asleep, she checked his face.

"Why are you so goodlooking?" she traced her finger down his nose and he shuddered in his sleep.

"You're making it hard for me oppa. I need to break up with you."

Hana pulled the covers over them as gently as she could and faced him, just drinking in all his features, his familiar features that never failed to make her weak in the knees.

"It's not me. It's you." 

She closed her eyes and went to bed.

-

A few suburbs away, Kai lay in bed wide awake.

Soojung lay next to him, under the covers, and sleeping quietly. 

It should've been a great night. Soojung had shown him how much she loved him, and they had made up quite quickly.

But as he sat up in bed, shirtless, somehow his eyes just would not close.

Glancing down at his girlfriend, a small smile appeared on his face and then slipped off just as quickly.

Did he love her?

With all his heart.

So why was he so... disturbed after making love to her?

These few days... Kai wa very preoccupied. There was always something at the back of his mind comparing Soojung to Hana, and although he knew why, he was still a little apprehensive.

Hana was like a sister to him. She was his dongsaeng and he loved it like that.

He felt the urge to protect her, and he loved her in a brotherly fashion.

But he couldn't help but wish that Soojung was as ladylike and as elegant and Hana was. 

Hana didn't have clothes like Soojung did, but her style outside of high school was still pretty impeccable. There was nothing about Hana that irked Kai to no end, and yet there were many aspects of Soojung that he disliked.

But he loved Soojung.

And Hana had Kyung Jae.

Thinking of Kyung Jae had Kai a little disturbed. There was something off about that guy, and Kai couldn't put his finger on it. 

The way he treated Hana was a little bit off as well. 

Sometimes, he saw Hana trail after like a lost puppy while he had absolutely no interest in her. And he seemed fine with dissing his girlfriend too, which disturbed Kai quite a bit.

And every time he asked Hana about Kyung Jae, she shut down and just zoned out.

He was curious, but it wasn't his business. He wasn't going to pry.

Soojung shuffled in his arms and he tightened his grip on her. 

Besides, he had a good life already.

-

Hana jerked awake, sweating suddenly.

She had a nightmare, but she couldn't even remember what it was about.

"You okay?" Kyung Jae rubbed his eyes and looked at her.

Then suddenly, Hana remembered.

She knew exactly what she had a nightmare about.

It was her and Kyung Jae growing old, with no kids and no love, and she watched all her friends get married and have families and laugh and play... while she was in a love-less life.

She couldn't have that.

If anything, that was the one thing that scared Hana more than spiders and insects.

"Kyung Jae." she said suddenly.

Her boyfriend sat up and looked at her. "Hana," she winced, he no longer called her babe. "It's six on a monday. You don't need to wake up for school till seven."

"We need to break up." she stated.

He gaped at her and floundered around trying to find words. "What, why?"

Hana stared him in the eyes while he tried to tear his gaze away. "You know exactly why and I'm sick of it oppa, I can't do this anymore. It's not good for me or you. And besides," she mocked bitterly, "don't you have your gaze set on Kai?"

Kyung Jae sighed. 

When Hana got pissed, he was always there to console her and always won, but now she was ANGRY and he knew that when Hana had her angry epiphanies, there was no turning her around.

He ran a hand through his hair and then took her hand.

Like a friend would.

Her touch no longer sent him spiralling. "Yes. He does."

Hana looked to the ceiling to prevent her tears from falling. Isn't this what she wanted? 

*But I love him* she thought.

The tears spilt and she got out of bed and went into the bathroom. 

Kyung Jae watched her, feeling sorry, guilty, sad...

But relieved.

-

Long update for my birthday haahaaa!