I was covered in sweat. Breathing was difficult and my chest had to rise high before dropping low as I took in lungfuls of air. My body hurts so much for hours now. Or probably days. I lost track of time from passing out way too many times. The pain is so annoying.

But it’s all worth it. Especially when the nurse comes in bringing our bundle of joy.

“She’s here!”

Yong-unnie beside me abruptly stood up, knocking down her chair. She mumbled a lot of apologies as she hurriedly placed the chair upright.

I would’ve laughed so loud if not for my aching body. The sight of her being so tense, disorganized, and panicking was a sight so rare before but since I got pregnant, it has remained constant.

She’s a lot clumsier too, which is a huge mess.

I squeezed unnie’s hand that she’s still holding. She never let go like she promised.

I smiled as her eyes landed back on mine. “She’s here, unnie”

She released a nervous breath as she smiled back. “Yeah…”

“Can you help me up?”

“Of course”

She placed her arms underneath my body before sitting me up. She propped pillows behind my back, making sure I was comfortable.

The nurse approached my bed while I reached my arms to our daughter. Our very beautiful daughter.

We debated between adopting and having one of our own. Days and months and years of figuring out whether we will proceed with IVF or adoption. Of course, there was no doubt that we wanted to adopt but we also have this desire of bearing a child. Of going through the process of pregnancy.

Ultimately, we chose IVF but we will still push through adoption once our baby girl is ready to be a big sister. As for who will carry our child, there was not much argument behind that.

The nurse carefully placed our daughter in my arms. And I don’t know how to exactly explain it, but the moment our baby girl was in my arms, it’s as if I wasn’t tired anymore. Like I never went through hours of contraction and labor.

It’s probably a miracle.

“I’ll give you a moment to be with her before we’ll get her measurements and check her more. A nurse will assist you so you can retire on your postpartum room”

“Thank you” we both said before the nurse left us.

“Unnie, she’s here” I whispered again in disbelief.

The bed shifted as Yongsun-unnie beside me. She secured an arm around me while also holding onto our baby daughter. She hasn’t spoken anything yet and was just simply watching our girl. I was watching her.

Somehow, her eyes found mine. We found ourselves smiling at each other, albeit exhausted. She brought me closer to her to give me a kiss on my forehead.

“You haven’t said anything yet, unnie”

“I can’t… I might cry, my love”

I softly giggled at her, snuggling to her cheek. “I’m the one who should’ve been in the postpartum haze, Yong-ah. Not you”

She shook her head. “I don’t care”

She made me giggle once again.

We were once silent again as we stared at our daughter. She is so tiny. She can’t open her eyes yet so we aren’t sure if she’s asleep or not. Only her small movements tell us that she might be awake, but we’re not sure.

“We haven’t named her,” Yongsun-unnie whispered after a while.

“What do you want to name her, unnie?”

We really haven’t decided on a name. When we found out that our baby is going to be a girl, I went into a frenzy of thinking of a name. I suggested a lot to my wife but she’ll only tell me that it is a great name. And she thinks every single name I suggested suits our daughter.

She shook her head. “You name our daughter”

“Don’t you want to name her?”

She only chuckled under her breath. “I’ll leave it to you”

“Are you sure? We can talk it out”

She only smiled and shook her head once again.

I pouted at her and she only responded with a giggle

She kissed my pout before looking at our daughter. “You name her. I’m just happy to be here, baby”

My pout was instantly replaced with a grateful smile. While holding our daughter close to me, I reached over to kiss her cheek. “I’ll give her a Korean and English name, okay? But I want to know your opinion what family name she should have”

“She can’t have both of our family names. I mean she’s ours but by blood, she’s yours. Should we give her your family name?”

“And what about you?” I pouted.

“Baby, again, I’m just happy to be here. I really don’t care. I’m sure you’ll give her a wonderful name, hun”

“Okay… So she’ll have Korean and English names.” I smiled down at our baby and said, “I actually want to name her Hayoon”

“That’s pretty”

I giggled at her while she only hugged us close. “You say every name I think is pretty”

“It is,” she insisted, making me giggle again.

“Hayoon for beautiful summer and natural talent. I think she’s going to be wonderful and talented, unnie”

She leaned her chin on my shoulder. “I’m sure she will be”

“And then she’ll call me her Eomma and you’ll be her Mommy. Mommy Yongsun”

She smiled wider and reached for Hayoon’s tiny hand to hold. “I’m your Mommy, Hayoon-ah… Can you see your Mommy?”

“Unnie, she can’t open her eyes yet”

“Ah…”

I leaned my body on her as I giggled. “Unnie…”

“But she can hear me, love. I’m sure she can”

“She can,” I answered.

“Then she’ll just have to listen to her Mommy’s voice”

I watched her slowly lean forward and give Hayoon’s forehead a very gentle kiss.

She’s really not her usual self since I got pregnant and now that our baby is here. But I like her like this. Regardless of her clumsiness and imperfections and her mind scattered all over the place, she has always been my caring and loving wife. And now, a caring and loving Mommy. That never changed.

“For her English name, I want to name her Gabriella”

Her head turned so fast towards me, eyes wide open. “What?” she whispered, breathless.

“I’m naming her Gabriella if it’s okay with you. We can call her Gabby but I want to kno—Unnie…” I panicked at seeing her suddenly crying. “We can change it if you don’t want to. I’m sorry”

She shook her head, hugging me and Hayoon close. She started sobbing while giving me so many kisses. She also gave some to Hayoon but unlike the gentle kisses she gave our daughter, she was a little too aggressive to my face.

“Unnie, I’m sorry. We rea—”

“No, no, no. It’s fine, Whee.” She smiled despite her tears to reassure me. “I do want to know why”

“I just… I don’t know…” I glanced down at our little Hayoon, feeling too shy to look at her. “Gabby is someone important to you and her past was something we all wished didn’t happen. I think… I just want to give her a happy childhood and a happy life. Something that Gabby never had. I want to remind ourselves of that. To be gentle with her and to always shelter her with our love. Unnie… Please don’t cry”

She started sobbing a little louder and this worried me so much. “I love you. I love you so much, Wheein. I love you a lot” she said, which confused me because I’m not sure if she’s fine with it or not.

“Is it okay?” I asked, nervous.

“Yes, my love. I’m fine with it. I love it a lot”

That was a relief.

Hayoon made a noise which halted Yong-unnie’s crying. It was such a tiny noise but the two of us were in so much awe just by it.

*****

I was woken up by a bark in the middle of the night. It was followed by my wife’s hushed whispers.

“Yongkeey, Eomma is still sleeping. Don’t wake her up”

Despite how sleepy I still was, I forced myself to open my eyes. I rolled over the bed and discovered discarded sheets and an empty side where my wife was supposed to be. Cuddling me, snuggling up to me, and making sure I was warm and comfortable.

The baby monitor was still on the bedside table and the crib was already empty. I dragged my eyes on the monitors mounted on our wall. Aside from baby monitors for our beautiful baby daughter, Yongsunnie also wanted to add CCTV cameras inside Hayoon’s room. It’s only for now that she’s still our baby angel. This is to help us monitor her and her room. Microphones are also mounted inside her room so we can hear what’s happening there.

And that’s what woke me up now.

I discovered Yonsun-unnie standing in the middle of Hayoon’s room. Our baby girl is wrapped in a blanket while her Mommy helps her drink her milk. Yongkeey was standing by her feet while Ggomo was in his bed watching the three.

It makes me smile watching my wife swaying Hayoon and how she couldn’t resist giving her a kiss occasionally. I found myself just watching them instead of going back to sleep.

“Good job, Hayoon-ah. My little angel is very good. She finished her milk. You must’ve been hungry, huh?”

She placed the bottle down and played with Hayoon. She can open her eyes now so Yong-unnie was making a lot of silly faces in order to make our daughter laugh.

I ended up being the one laughing at her.

“Do you want to see your sister, Hayoon-ah?”

She sat on the floor in the middle of the room. Yongkeey was such a cu