Pain. Nothing but pain. But it’s the kind of pain that’s satisfying though. It’s the kind of pain that’s softened because I was happy and that everything was worth it.

After nine months of carrying our baby, I finally gave birth to our Taeyang through a normal delivery. Yong was right by my side the whole time I was on delivery. She almost fainted during my labor because of how she was panicking and how anxious she was. If it was any other day, I might’ve laughed at how adorable she looked. But since I was busy pushing and screaming colorful profanities, I only caught a glimpse of her adorable face before I focused on giving birth to our Taeyang.

Our Taeyang came out strong and healthy. He was crying on top of his lungs while his hands were clenched in small tiny fists. I was able to hold him and carry him in my arms. Yong was able to hold him too but she was afraid to carry him yet. She just sat beside my bed and repeatedly whispered how proud she was of me and Taeyang.

Nabi came inside my room to see her baby brother. She was able to see Taeyang for a couple of minutes before a nurse came in to grab Taeyang from us. Taeyang was placed in the nursery ward for checking. The moment Taeyang was out of my arms, I immediately passed out from exhaustion.

I woke up to unexplainable pain all over my body. The anaesthesia had finally worn off and now I’m grunting and groaning in bed. It’s not excruciating but it’s the kind of pain that just makes me want to lie down in bed and maybe sleep some more.

“Baby…”

Yong came to my side right away when she heard me. She brushed my hair before she leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and instantly sighed, knowing that my wife is just right beside me.

“What can I get you? Do you need anything?”

I could clearly see the exhaustion in her face. Dark bags were evident under her eyes and her voice sounded like I stirred her awake. My painful contractions lasted for around twenty nine hours before I entered active labor. She was awake the whole time I entered early labor the other day and must’ve probably stayed awake since then.

“Just water”

She nodded and grabbed a bottle of water from the bedside table. She came back to my bed right away. She cupped my chin before she helped me drink. Then she wiped my chin and covered the bottle. Even with how exhausted she was, her hands are still gentle.

“What time is it?”

She glanced at her watch and said, “It’s still five. You should probably go back to sleep, Whee. Take more rest”

“Where’s Nabi?”

She pointed at our baby butterfly who’s sleeping peacefully on the couch while hugging her favorite stuffed puppy. There’s a small blanket that was laid on top of her. Her fluffy cheeks were squished as she hugged her puppy tightly.

I smiled at Nabi before I glanced at my wife. I raised my hand that was still connected to an IV fluid bag. I rested my hand on Yong’s cheek while she held my wrist to hold my hand in place, careful not to hit the needle on my hand. “Where did you sleep?”

“Beside you”

“You snuck in my bed?”

She smiled as she closed her tired eyes and slowly nodded. “A nurse caught me sleeping beside you so I ended up sleeping on the chair while I laid my head on the bed”

“Come up here again. I want you beside me”

“Okay”

She gently placed my hand down. Then she stood up and walked around my bed so she’d be on my other side where there’s no wires attached on my hand. She lifted the blanket and slowly climbed on the bed. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head right close to mine.

I slightly turned my body to her so I could look at her face. “Have I told you that I slept beside you when you were in a coma? The first one?”

She lazily smiled at me and shook her head. “But I’ve read your letters so I knew it.” She closed her eyes and propped her chin on my shoulder. “Tell me about it,” she whispered softly.

“I couldn’t sleep at that time, right? I would always sneak into your bed and hide under the sheets. A nurse would always find me. They wanted to scold me but since I am a doctor here, they’d just sigh and wait for me to climb down. Dr. Song would spend his breaks in your room and watch the door for me so I could sleep beside you.” I closed my eyes and giggled at the memory of it while Yong pulled me closer to her to kiss my cheek. “Looking back at it now, it seemed so childish of me but I felt really desperate to keep you close to me. I wanted to remind myself that you’re alive to eradicate the feeling of having your cold and lifeless body in my arms the night of our accident”

“I was really nervous when you passed out yesterday.” She raised her hand up to my cheek and caressed her thumb on it while I frowned at her. “I thought I lost you. I was really scared but Pa said that you were just sleeping because you’re exhausted.” She touched her forehead on mine and whispered, “Don’t do that again, Whee. Never do that to me”

I softly laughed to ease the tension and hopefully her nerves too. “Let’s just say we’re now even after you passed out on me twice when you hurt your head”

She frowned at me while I continued to smile at her. “Please don’t joke about this…”

“I’m not. You nearly died in my arms twice but I don’t want to remember that, ever again. I don’t want you to remember how I passed out yesterday too. It’s kind of unfair on my side but let’s just say we’re even, so we wouldn’t worry about that anymore. Okay?”

She sighed heavily and reluctantly nodded. “Fine… Have it your way, Mrs. Jung”

“Thank you, Mrs. Jung.” I laughed again and this time, I saw her lips curling up into a smile. “Where’s our Taeyang? I want to see our Taeyang”

“The nurse told me that they’ll bring him here later.” Yong suddenly perked up and smiled so wide at me. “Nabi and I went to the ward yesterday. Ma was there with us too. He looks just like me, Whee”

“Yeah?” I asked, smiling as wide as her while she nodded excitedly.

“He doesn’t have my dimples but that’s fine. His eyes are just like mine. He’s so tiny. We need to protect him all the time so our Taeyang wouldn’t be squished”

“What did Nabi say when she saw her brother?”

She chuckled softly as she said, “She was silent the whole time we were watching Taeyang. She couldn’t get her eyes off her brother”

“Hmm… Someone’s ready to spoil her baby brother”

Yong chuckled as she scooted closer to me and snuggled her face to my neck. “Let’s go back to sleep” she lazily whispered.

I’m tired but I’m not sleepy anymore. I just hummed her to sleep and drew lazy circles on her arm to lull her to sleep. I closed my eyes and listened to Yong’s soft snores and her steady breathing. Her breath tickled my cheek a little bit but it’s also comforting.

We remained in that position while I stared outside through the windows. I watched how the dark skies got tinged with some red and orange streaks from the rising sun. The buildings and the skies turned brighter until the sun had fully risen and continued to rise as a new day started.

It’s been so long since I have witnessed the awakening of the world. It would always feel like the world is slowly opening its eyes when the sun rises and sheds light to all the things in it. Everything outside from my room looked so perfect. Perfect for our Taeyang’s day one with us.

I missed my baby. I just held him for a few minutes yesterday. I just wanted him in my arms all the time.

“Mommy… Mama…”

I heard Nabi’s tiny voice from the couch. My other baby seems to be awake now. I glanced at the couch and saw Nabi was already sitting up. She rubbed her eyes and sighed heavily while her lips were pouting.

“Nabi-ah…” I whispered, careful not to disturb Yong’s sleep. “Is there something wrong?”

She moved her legs off the couch and groggily walked towards my bed, bringing her blanket and puppy with her. “Can I sleep with Mommy and Mama too?”

“Can you still fit with us, baby? Where will you sleep?”

“Here”

I lifted my head and saw her patting at the end of our bed by our feet. “Can you fit in there?”

“There’s still space near Mommy”

“Okay. Be careful.” I watched her climb the bed while Yong seemed oblivious to the bed’s movements. “I’m sorry Mama can’t hug you, baby”

“It’s okay… Mommy said Mama needed to rest because you got tired yesterday”

I lifted my head again and saw a bundle of her blanket beside Yong’s legs. Her legs were right by my foot while she curled herself at the foot of the bed. Thankfully, there’s a board that would prevent her from falling in case she’d move and roll in her sleep.

“Are you comfortable there?”

“Yeah…”

“Okay. I love you, Nabi. Mommy and Mama love you”

“Hmm…” she hummed, which made me smile because she sounded like she had fallen asleep already.

A few minutes later when the two of them were already asleep, there was a soft knock on my door before it was pushed open. I glanced at the door and smiled immediately when I saw a crib slowly being rolled inside my room. Goeun, the nurse assigned to us, was gently pushing the crib with our Taeyang sleeping quietly in bed. Goeun placed Taeyang’s crib close to my bed.

I wanted to look at him but because of Yong having me in her arms and Nabi who’s locking her legs with mine, I just looked at Goeun. “How is he?”

“He’s sleeping, Dr Jung. He’ll wake up soon and will ask for food. You can feed him but if you have problems feeding him, you can call us and we’ll assist you, Dr. Jung”

“Okay. Thank you.” I looked at the crib again and whispered, “Taeyang… Mama’s here. Mommy and Nabi are sleeping, baby”

“Dr. Jung…”

I glanced at Goeun and saw her giving me a pointed look. I pouted at her and whispered, “I know… They’re not allowed to sleep beside me but please just give me this one”

“Hospital protocols”

“I know… I’ve memorized those protocols myself already, Goeun. They’ll wake up again soon and they won’t be sleeping beside me once they wake up”

“Dr. Jung…” she whispered exasperatedly.

“Goeun… I just gave birth. I need them close to me for fast recovery. Don’t you want me to recover fast, Goeun?”

She closed her eyes and sighed heavily while I tried not to smile because I knew she had given up arguing with me. I used this line of reasoning to Sujin when Yong was in coma the first time. I got off the hook once but Sujing never spared me for a second chance. I used this on Goeun when Yong was in coma the second time. Just like with Sujin, I got off the hook once but never on the second time.

I know she’ll spare me once again. Yong and Nabi looked so cute huddled around me. Surely that did something to convince her. “Please… Just this one, Goeun. We won’t do this for the second time”

She sighed heavily and nodded defeatedly, making me smile at her. “But if I get scolded for letting this happen, you have to help me, Dr. Jung”

“Don’t worry” I whispered assuringly. “I don’t know why they said I’m the best neurosurgeon here, but it has its perks. I’ll use it when you get scolded. I promise” I smiled cheekily while Goeun just shook her head disapprovingly.

“Speaking of… Sujin—” Goeun stopped when Nabi stirred by my foot.

“Do me a favor and pat her back. Please…”

Goeun moved forward and followed what I said. I hummed to Nabi, not too soft that she couldn’t hear it but not too loud that might wake Yong beside me. Nabi softly sighed before she remained in her position and stayed still.

“Thank you.” I smiled at Goeun while she stepped back and nodded at me. “What was it you were saying?”

“Sujin mentioned that someone needed to speak to you. They were persistent too”

My eyebrows furrowed while the first thing that came to my mind was mine and Nabi's biological father. It could also be the mother of the kid that bullied Nabi before but my thoughts revolved around our biological father. This was how he showed up twice when he wanted Nabi from me and Yong.

“Who was it?”

“Do you know Kim Yongshin, Dr. Jung?”

My body relaxed when it wasn’t our biological father but my eyebrows furrowed even more. “Familiar… Isn’t this the owner of that hotel chain? Is that her?” I asked Goeun since I wasn’t sure myself.

“That one. Miss Kim was looking for the hospital’s best neurologist and neurosurgeon, which is you and still you”

“What did I do to her? I never even checked into her hotels. Hadn’t been there—”

“You’ve been to the Apollo Towers. The Neurology Department held a party there. Sujin and Jieun mentioned it to me”

“Ah, yeah. But that was the hospital’s event. I was just there because of the event. I don’t owe them anything. Why does she need to see me?”

Goeun sighed defeatedly from my overdramatics before she shook her head. “Because of her wife’s mother, remember her?”

“The singer?” I asked.

I’m really not that updated by these famous people’s lives. I’ve heard of them. It’s hard not to, especially after their controversy one time. Also, they're always on the news. The media seemed to be thirsty about their lives. Luckily, neither one of me and Yong are famous. It must be suffocating to have the media right under their noses all the time.

However, me and Yong are somewhat thankful for Miss Kim and her wife. Couples of the same are frowned upon but since the media were onto them, the general public has been slowly opening their minds about same couples. So I feel bad, but at the same time, I’m thankful for them.

“Yes!” Goeun whisper-shouted out of excitement. “I’m a fan of all the songs of—”

“Goeun… are you just going to be a fangirl or are you going to continue telling me what the fuss was about?”

“Sorry, Dr. Jung.” She cleared and smiled apologetically. “So… Miss Kim’s mother-in-law is suffering from dementia. You know this right?”

“Yeah… I’ve heard of it. Is that why she wanted to see me?”

“Yes. Apparently, her dementia is worsening. They wanted to talk to you. The Neurology Department suggested Dr. Ahn since you’re on leave but Miss Kim wanted to see the best and you happened to be the best. One of Miss Kim’s secretaries came to the hospital to talk to you or make an appointment with you on behalf of Miss Kim. You weren’t available. They insisted and she only left when the department gave your number to them. If a Kim Yongshin calls you, you know what it is already”

I gulped hard from nervousness. That’s scary. What if the media caught onto this and exposed me to the public? I don’t like that. My family needs our peace and silence after everything that happened to us already. We don’t need a media circus that might ruin our peaceful lives now.

“But if it’s dementia, there’s nothing I could do anymore. Didn’t she know that?”

Goeun just shrugged her shoulders at me. “That’s all I heard from Sujin. She told me to relay this as soon as I can, in case you receive a call”

“But I just gave birth…” I whined, stirring Yong beside me. I kissed her forehead and stayed still until she stopped moving. I turned to Goeun and said again, “I just gave birth”

“That’s one of the perks of this hospital’s best neurosurgeon and neurologist, Dr. Jung” Goeun said sarcastically while I glared at her. “Call us if you need help with Taeyang. I’ll come back to check on you and Taeyang, Dr. Jung. Good morning.” She bowed at me before she exited my room, leaving me still glaring at her.

Not long after Goeun left the room, soft whimpers could be heard from Taeyang’s crib. This also woke up the other occupants of my bed. I didn’t bother putting them back to sleep anymore. I still have to feed Taeyang, which also means that they need to get out of my bed.

Yong instantly sat up from the bed, making me flinch when she startled me.

“Oh my god… You surprised me” I whispered to Yong but she ignored me.

She climbed out of the bed while Nabi sat up from the foot of the bed and watched her Mommy. Yong walked towards Taeyang’s bed and stared at him, still in daze and hadn’t fully woken up yet. When Taeyang’s whimpers turned to cries, it looked like Yong’s body was shaken, waking her up completely.

“Taeyang” she said, her eyes widening as she looked at me. “Why is Taeyang here? How did he get here? Who placed him here?” she frantically asked while I couldn’t help but smile at her. She turned to Taeyang while it’s clear from her face that she’s panicking. “What’s wrong, baby? What do you want? Tell Mommy what you want?”

“Tae…” Nabi softly mumbled. She climbed out of my bed and walked towards her Mommy. “Taeyang… Why are you crying? Why is he crying, Mommy?”

“I don’t know…”

While they were busy panicking, I silently laughed as I adjusted my bed to change my position. “Can you bring him to me, Yong?” I said to her.

“Wha—What?” she stuttered and this time, I couldn’t hold my laughter anymore.

“I have to feed him. We can’t let him cry, right?”

“Ah—Oh—Yeah, yeah.” She nodded but still didn’t move to lift Taeyang from the crib.

“Mommy” Nabi intervened, which brought Yong out of zoning out.

I softly laughed at them and proceeded to my shirt when the bed had readjusted already. I turned to Yong and smiled when she looked so confused on how to carry Taeyang to me. “Support his head wi