Hindi ko alam kung sa anong paraan pa pagtri-tripan ng mundo ang puso ko - nung I was finally able to meet someone who's able to restore my faith in love and make me believe in the prospect of someone actually staying (instead of just suddenly disappearing, ehem, ghosting, ehem) I found myself forced to face the fact that this someone has to go, too.

 But of course, it's not Seulgi's fault.

"I hope your mom gets better soon, Seul," I told her in a video call. We had no more time to meet in person as she had to prepare for an urgent trip to Italy. Deja vu lang at dito na naman ako nakikipag-usap sa video call, just like before, when the pandemic hit.

"Sana nga," she muttered softly.

Seulgi's eyes were bloodshot. My heart broke.

"Mag-iingat ka dun."

"Yeah. Ikaw rin Hyun. Ingat ka dito."

Seulgi tried to give me a smile, but her expression just showed pain. 

Gustong-gusto ko siya yakapin.

Gustong-gusto ko mangako na kakayanin ko kahit gaano pa siya katagal dun.

Pero nakakasakit ang pangako and the false hopes that it may raise. Nakakasira. Nakakaupos. 

Kaya hindi ako mangangako sa 'yo Seul. 

So I will just take this one day at a time. Pero I'll do my best to make you feel loved each day, everytime.

"I have to go na Hyun. Maaga pa flight namin ni daddy at ni Jen."

Napatango ako. Jennie was the one who took care of the flights, coordinated their trip, their stay there.