Agap.

If there's one word that will and should resonate with us - tayong tinawag na pandemic generation - it should be this one: agap.

For those of us who lived to tell the tale, the term traverses personal and societal aspirations.

From my end, sa societal na aspeto, ito ang ibig sabihin ng agap para sa akin, ako na kabilang sa pandemic generation na ito - sana inagapan ang response. Sana inagapan ang pagkakaroon ng collective demand for accountability. 

But on a personal level, this is what agap means to me: 

Agapan mo 'yung sa inyo ni Jennie. 

Agapan mo bago pa may mga malikha (o lumalim?) na sugat.

Jennie never talked to again me after the day she went to my condo. 

It's been two months. Hind ko alam kung bakit. She just cleaned herself up dahil nga nagsuka siya, looked at me and Joohyun, and then left without a word.

Joohyun and I have been going out for 3 1/2 months then. Wala naman akong balak itago kay Jennie (kahit nga hindi ko rin alam bakit parang she concealed or kept  answers or details from me whenever I asked about Joohyun). I was about to tell, her actually - sabi kasi ni Hyun, sabihin na lang namin 'pag lumagpas na ng three months, to break the curse of the ghosting period na naranasan niya nung may pandemya pa.

Pero I never got the chance to tell Jennie.

Pupunta ako sa apartment nila ni Rosé at Lisa pero hindi niya ko haharapin. Tatawagan ko, hindi niya ako sasagutin.