(AN: Italicize sentences are flashbacks. Wag malilito, okay?)

"Jen wag namang ganito oh. Pag usapan natin 'to. Baby please open the door"

I knocked a million times but she didn't respond. All I hear are sobs inside her room. I felt nothing but guilt kasi nasaktan ko na naman siya dahil masyado akong padalos dalos. Nadala lang naman ako ng emosyon ko ng makita kong hinalikan siya ni Hanbin but I didn't mean anything that I've said. I didn't mean to hurt her. 

Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga kami? After everything that we've been through sa ganito lang matatapos ang lahat?

I stopped knocking and lowered my head as tears escaped my eyes. This in' hurts. I felt suffocated because of the pain I am feeling inside of me but I cannot complain coz this was all my fault. If I only trust her enough, this will never happen. Maybe she's right. Maybe it is what's best for us for now. I lift my head up, look to her door and heave a defeated sigh.

If this is what you need my love, I will let you. 

-------------

"Are you okay?" 

Andito ako ngayon sa ospital kung saan nakaconfine si Hanbin. Grabe yung damage na nagawa ni Lisa sa kanya at di ko maiwasang maguilty kapag nakikita ko ang basag niyang mukha. His nose was broken and he got stitches on his left eyebrow. Buti na lang walang broken ribs or internal hemorrhage. Medyo maga pa rin yung kaliwang mata niya kaya di niya pa gaanong maimulat. 

"I'm fine Jen. Don't worry" he smiled at me and hold my hand. Nabasa niya siguro yung guilt sa mukha ko kaya inaassure niya ko na okay lang siya. 

"I'm sorry for what she did" 

Pinisil niya ang kamay ko at saka umiling. 

"I should be the one to say sorry. Kung di kita hinalikan hindi mangyayari sa'kin 'to" nakangiting sabi niya. 

I shook my head. 

"Kahit na. She shouldn't have done that" depensa ko. 

"Naiintindihan ko siya. I would've done the same kung ako yung nasa posisyon niya" 

Hindi na ko kumibo at nakipagtalo pa dahil wala rin namang point dahil nangyari na. Still, kahit ano pang dahilan hindi pa rin tama ang manakit ng kapwa.

Muli niyang pinisil ang kamay ko. 

"Ikaw kamusta ka? Parang wala ka pang matinong tulog. Nangangalumata ka. Umiyak ka ba?" usisa niya. 

I heave a deep sigh before I speak. 

"I did. I broke up with her" I sadly said. 

Inalis ko yung tingin ko sa kanya para itago yung nagbabadyang pagpatak ng mga luha ko. Buong magdamag na akong umiiyak pero hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya nauubos. Sobrang sakit pa rin sa tuwing nagsisink in sa isip ko na wala na kami. Na hindi na siya sa akin. 

"Come here" he spread his arms trying to give me a hug. 

I was hesitant at first but he insisted. Yumakap ako sa kanya at niyakap niya naman ako ng mahigpit habang hinahaplos niya ang buhok ko. 

"Sige lang Jen, iiyak mo lang. Iiyak mo lang hanggang sa maubos. Hanggang sa mapagod ka. Andito lang ako para sa'yo" 

Hindi ko na napigilan at tuluyan na akong napahagulgol habang nakayakap sa kanya at nakabaon ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. Humagulgol ako na parang bata but he just let me. Hindi siya nagsalita hinayaan niya lang ako hanggang sa wala na kong luhang mailabas. Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap nang maramdaman kong basang basa na nang mga luha ko ang hospital gown niya. 

"I'm sorry" 

Inilabas ko ang panyo sa aking bulsa at saka pinunasan ang basa niyang damit. 

"It's okay. Pag kailangan mong umiyak, bukas ang mga bisig ko para sa'yo Jennie. I know I can't be your lover anymore but I can still be your friend naman diba?" nakangiting sabi niya. 

For the first time this week, I found myself smiling for real. Who would've thought that I will find comfort from someone who hurt me before. 

"Oo naman. You can always be my friend. Thank you Hanbin"

-------------------------

'Tapusin na natin to'

'Tapusin na natin to'

'Tapusin na natin to'

Yan ang paulit ulit na tumatakbo sa isip ko. Tatlong araw na simula nung tapusin ni Jen ang lahat sa amin. Yung pinaka kinatatakutan kong mangyari, nangyari na. Nung araw na umalis ako ng bahay nila Jennie, ang tanging ginawa ko lang ay ang magmaneho ng walang direksyon. Pupunta sa bar, mag iinom at pagkatapos ay matutulog sa kotse ko kung saan na lang ako abutan. I am wasted. I am lost. Hindi rin ako pumapasok sa school. Jisoo and Seulgi keeps calling me but I intentionally ignoring their calls. HIndi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, kung anong gagawin ko. Until today. I found myself standing in front of our mansion, drunk and helpless. Napapagod na kong umiyak pero hindi ko magawang tumigil. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong ginagawa ko rito. I am not supposed to be in this house. I stared blankly at our white door without wiping the tears that keeps flowing down my cheeks. Umiikot na ang paningin ko and my heart aches so bad and my knees wobble. Sobrang nanghihina at napaluhod na lang ako sa harap ng pintuan ng bahay namin habang hawak ko ang dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang sakit nito. Then memories of the past days clouded my thoughts. 

I've been absent for a couple of days in school coz dad wants me to be with him in a business trip. Sumama ako hindi para takasan si Jennie patungkol sa engagement, kundi para magkaroon kami ng chance ni dad na makapag usap. For me to tell him how wonderful Jennie is and how much I love her. To make him realize how happy I am with my girl. We were in Japan at katatapos lang ng meeting namin with his business partners. Tomorrow will be our flight back to Manila and this is the only chance left for me to talk to him. Nasa elevator kami pababa sa basement parking kasama ng mga business partners niya, naghihintay ng tamang tiyempo para makausap ko siya. Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay narating na naman ang aming destinasyon. Isa isa kaming lumabas ng elevator at inihatid namin ni Dad sa kanya kanyang sasakyan ang mga business partners niya. Nang kami na lamang dalawa ang naiwan, I took all the courage to follow him and talk to him about my relationship with Jennie. I tried to convince him about us pero talagang matigas siya. 

"I just want what's best for you Lisa and that's not her!" 

"No dad! You just want what's best for you and you only think what others will say. Pero pa'no naman ako, dad? Pa'no naman yung nararamdaman ko? I love her and she makes me happy. Diba dapat yun yung mas importante? Diba yun yung dapat na mas mahalaga sa'yo? Yung kasiyahan ko. Dad, Jennie makes me happy. I love her! I love her so much and I can't afford to lose her!" I cried but no matter how hard I cried he didn't budge. He shook his head and turn his back on me. 

"I can't accept her" he said and was about to leave but I stopped him. 

"Dad wait" I called. 

He turn around and he faced me. Wala akong makitang ekspresyon sa mukha niya. I guess he really mastered wearing his poker face but his eyes widened when I started lowering myself. His brows furrowed watching me getting down on my knees. I know this is so humiliating but I am willing to look pathetic in front of my father just for her. If this is the only way I can convince him to allow my relationship with Jennie, I will. Nagsisimula nang maglabasan ang mga tao dahil tapos na ang office hours. People are gawking at us with shocked expression on their faces. My dad look at the people and then me. 

"Lalisa what are you doing? Get up!" he commanded with his authoritative voice but I didn't budge. 

"Please dad. Please call off the wedding. I love Jennie and she's the only person I want to marry" I was looking at my dad's eyes crying, not minding the pitiful look in the eyes of the people watching us.

"Get up Lisa! You look pathetic!" he tried to pulled me up but I refused. 

"Not until you allow us dad" I whispered but just enough for him to hear. 

I watch him clenched his jaw while glaring at me. 

"That won't never happen. You will marry Snow and that's final!" 

I gritted my teeth and stand up. 

"Well then, kalimutan mo nang may anak ka" I turn my back on him this time.

"Lalisa!" he called. I stopped walking and wait for him to speak. 

"You will lose everything kapag umalis ka ngayon dito" he muttered with the hint of threat in his voice. 

"I'd rather lose everything than her" with that, I walked out of the basement parking and went straight to the airport. I need to see Jennie. 

Past 9 pm na nang makarating ako sa bahay nila Jennie. Sa kanya agad ako dumiretso dahil gusto kong surpresahin siya. Alam kong galit pa rin siya sa'kin dahil nilihim ko yung tungkol sa engagement namin ni Snow but I am willing to do everything para mapatawad niya ko. I will explain to her everything. And if she will require me to beg for her forgiveness I will, kung yun lang ang paraan para magkaayos kami. I was so excited and happy to see her. I waited outside their house habang nakasakay sa grab na binook ko. Halos isang oras rin akong naghintay hanggang sa napangiti na lang ako ng makita ko siyang bumababa sa isang kotse. The car looks familiar to me but I just ignored that coz I am very excited to approach her. Dali dali akong bumaba para salubungin siya pero laking gulat ko nang makita ko si Hanbin na sunod na bumaba sa kotseng pinanggalingan niya. I frozen in place when I saw him kissed her cheeks. I balled my fist at sa sobrang galit ko ay hindi na ko nakapagtimpi pa. I went to him and landed a fist onto his jaw. He dropped on the floor and I took the opportunity to went on top of him and throw punches on his face. I can hear Jennie on my back trying to pacify me. I even felt her arms on my stomach trying to pull me away from Hanbin but because I was too mad I pushed her.  Hindi na nagawang lumaban pa ni Hanbin dahil sa dami ng suntok na pinakawalan ko. He's bleeding a lot but I don't care as the memory of him kissing Jennie continously repeating on my head. Hanggang sa dumating na si TIta Belle at inawat na kami ng mga kapit bahay. Dinala sa ospital si Hanbin kasama si Tita Belle at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Jennie sa sala. I was facing Jennie's back and my conscience eats me when I saw a big bruise on her right arm, under her elbow. 

"Jen your arm" I hold her wrist trying to check on those but she swatted my hand. She faced me and glared at me. She run her fingers through her hair and she looks really mad.  

Nainis ako dahil siya pa yung may ganang magalit. Hindi ko naman sinasadya na maitulak siya. Kahit sino naman magagalit kapag ganun yung makikita. I've been through a lot tapos ganun lang yung madaratnan ko. Nagkasagutan kami hanggang sa dumating na nga yung point na nakipaghiwalay na siya sa'kin.

"Lalisa! What happened to you?" 

I look up and saw my dad. He's still wearing his office attire minus the coat. I cried harder when our eyes met. I am not sure but I think I see sadness or maybe pity in it. 

"Dad she's gone. She broke up with me. It hurts dad! It hurts so much!" I said gripping on my chest because of so much pain.

I can feel my dad embrace me tight for the first time in so many years. I've been so close to him before but since mom died, he became so workaholic that he barely had time for me and that's when we started to break apart. I gripped on the collar of his button down polo shirt and I buried my face on his chest and started crying even harder. 

"It's all my fault daddy!" I sob harder. 

"Ssshhh... No Lisa it's not your fault. It's me. I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry"

I pulled out from the hug and looked at him. I can't believe he just said that. He cupped my cheeks and stared at my eyes. 

"Don't blame yourself anak. I'm sorry. You're right. Sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko. I was so selfish that I didn't see how happy you are with her. Masyadong sarado ang isip ko. I'm sorry, anak. I'm sorry" 

He lowered his head to hide the tears in his eyes but he failed. I already saw it. I hugged him again and we both cried so hard then I don't have any idea what happened next as everything went black.